Candida eruption! OH NOES!

[Theriot]

I am DingoBoi from a long time ago.  I have attended a convention in Toronto.  I'm also banned from this site for unrelated issues dealing with compensation for providing content without being paid. 

So, that's full disclosure and I don't wish to bring up any of those issues here, but felt it important to give due diligence disclosure.



What I am dealing with is white spots in the back of my mouth.  I have an overall very poor dental history.  Most of my molars are decayed beyond recognition and I've actually held the metal that was used to fill those cavities and bits of tooth that fell off.

I suspect this is Candida, but there are a number of sources for that.  I've been positive nearly 10 years... being on meds early on, but having rejected meds for the last 6 years or so. 

I still drink a lot and dehyrdration is a factor in spots in your mouth (my face is also very flaky/dehydrated).  Drinking more water seems to help sometimes.  Though lately, it doesn't.  I drink about 10 liters of wine every week... which is a sugar source for candida. 

I haven't been tested in aobut 2 years and have no idea of my current t-cell count.  It was fine at the last test and I began to believe I was a long-term non-progressor. 

Yes, call me crazy.  I'm more comfortable with dying from this than dealing with the side effects of this disease. 

Now, I just feel like I'm gagging half the time. 

I already know the answer which is to go to a doctor even if I don't have health insurance (and PA has a program for hiv treatment).  I simply don't want to go.  I've become a bit of a recluse and hate going outside.  The wine store knows me as the weird freak who comes in wearing jammies and having crazy hair. 

I realize it is irresponsible to give medical advice and nobody here can who is not a doctor, but I am NOT GOING to go to a doctor.  Please tell me what antibiotics might work to get rid of this.  I'm not even sure if it is HIV related as the same thing happens with heavy dehydration, which I certainly have. 

[Grasshopper]

How is candidiasis treated?

http://www.aidsmeds.com/articles/Candidiasis_6842.shtml

[Ann]

I am DingoBoi from a long time ago.  I have attended a convention in Toronto.  I'm also banned from this site for unrelated issues dealing with compensation for providing content without being paid. 

So, that's full disclosure and I don't wish to bring up any of those issues here, but felt it important to give due diligence disclosure.

Dingo, you weren't banned for "unrelated issues dealing with compensation for providing content without being paid", you were banned for repeatedly engaging in flamebait despite repeated warnings, Time Outs and second chances. I can point you to the relevant thread if you wish.

It's been nearly seven years since you were here (2426 days, to be exact) and I'm willing to give you one last "second" chance.

HOWEVER. You will not be permitted to engage in the same behaviour that got you permanently banned seven years ago. If you do, we will simply ban you again. A lot of what got you in trouble was "drunk posting", so think twice before you post if you've had some wine.

Also, I'm going to discuss with the other mods whether or not we should have you go back to your original account, or if we will allow you to continue with this new one - a "clean slate" so to speak. I'll get back to you on that score.




As you haven't been going to the doctor for quite some time, you may not realise that there are newer meds available now that have very good side effect profiles. Dying from hiv is much, MUCH worse and more painful than treatment.

I know a poz person here on the Rock who refused treatment and drank himself to death. It wasn't pretty, and it wasn't painless. Don't go down that road - please get some professional help.

You may not have health insurance and it doesn't sound like you're holding down a job, so you would most likely qualify for ADAP and Ryan White. Get yourself down to your nearest ASO and get your access to care sorted out.

Believe it or not, I do actually care about you. In fact, I was just reminiscing about you with another forum member on Skype the other day, and no, it wasn't all bad. PLEASE start taking care of yourself!

Hugs,
Ann
xxx

[mecch]

Yes, call me crazy.  I'm more comfortable with dying from this than dealing with the side effects of this disease. 

Is this a mistype?  Do you mean you are afraid of the side effects of HIV medicine?  Several combos these days have very side effects.

If you mean the side effects of the disease itself, that is what you DO HAVE, now.  And it will get worse. As Ann told you. As anyone who watched a loved one die of AIDS will tell you. Its all side effects and some of them turn into major diseases and kill the person...   Candida that comes back repeatedly and can't be resolved, for example.  Basically the person rots to death in many different, horrible ways.  Digestive system is destroyed, for example.. Its horribly painful and pretty slow.  Pneumonia is painful.  The patient would end up in the hospital to get it treated and then get it again a month or two later.  Etc etc etc.

[mecch]

For the thrush you don't need an antibiotic.  You need anti-fungals. Its not available without prescription. 

[MadisonTeddy]

I don't know you, nor do I know almost all of you BUT I do know this...5 months ago I was sick...Very sick...I also had thrush. I took one high dose of an antifungal drug, OTC here in Mexico and I went and got on Atripla and within the month I was feeling 80% better and now I feel totally better...I have no real side effects from this medicine. Go and get some help....Maybe they will even come to you at the start...I wish you the best....

[J.R.E.]

Hey Dingo,...

Its good to hear from you, I wish it could be under better heath conditions. Like Ann, I have wondered how you've been all these years.

Listen, too many years have gone by without testing, and honestly it really doesn't look or sound good for you.

When you mention that it feels like your " gagging " ,  This sounds as though you may have esophageal candida,( along with thrush in the mouth) which is what I went through several months before starting on meds in 2003.

You need to get yourself to a doctor, and you need to do it ASAP.  And yes, If your numbers have bottomed out, and you are drinking heavily, this will contribute. If you are smoking, this also will contribute.

You need to a proper diagnosis, Labs, and start getting treatment for the  thrush, and HIV.


Listen Dingo, this is in your hands !!  You are the one that needs to take control and stop any further damage !  And I am going to be very blunt.  If you don't get a doctor appointment, and start getting treatment, thing are just going to get worse.

WHY ,  become a statistic ?  I am telling you, this is not a pretty picture.  Do you have friends up in PA, to work with you, and help get you to a doctor ? Can these friends, follow through, and stick with you to get you to these appointments.


Diflucan is one of the anti fungals used to treat Candida. And by the way, if this has gotten down into your esophagus, it can very well bring on pneumonia. While Diflucan may help to get rid of it, I am afraid, it will only be short term, as you numbers continue to get worse.

Get yourself connected to an ASO, and do it quickly.  Aids is an ugly death, and avoidable, and with all the newer medications that are out there, it is also much more  tolerable to live it. I have very few if any side effects from the medications that I am on

You sound as though you are at a point, where I was in 2003, Please get the ball rolling, and start taking care of yourself, you have a lot of serious issues going on, that need to be addressed quickly.

I will be thinking of you, and hoping that you make the right choices.


Ray

[Hellraiser]

You just described exactly what I was going through when I was initially on death's door prior to diagnosis.  My skin was incredibly dry and flaky (regardless of the amount of water I drank), I had thrush and it felt like there was something in my throat all the time that I couldn't swallow or cough up.  In addition I was exhausted, had no appetite, and couldn't get any quality sleep due to general misery and night sweats.

If you think going off meds is better than the side effects of meds I can personally vouch for that not being the case.  I have 0 side effects from the drug I am on.  In fact HIV has become such a non issue in my life due to the effectiveness of the meds there are days I don't even think about it any longer.  You can save yourself a lot of misery by going back on treatment.

[Theyer]

What I am dealing with is white spots in the back of my mouth.  I have an overall very poor dental history.  Most of my molars are decayed beyond recognition and I've actually held the metal that was used to fill those cavities and bits of tooth that fell off.

I suspect this is Candida, but there are a number of sources for that.  I've been positive nearly 10 years... being on meds early on, but having rejected meds for the last 6 years or so. 

I still drink a lot and dehyrdration is a factor in spots in your mouth (my face is also very flaky/dehydrated).  Drinking more water seems to help sometimes.  Though lately, it doesn't.  I drink about 10 liters of wine every week... which is a sugar source for candida. 

I haven't been tested in aobut 2 years and have no idea of my current t-cell count.  It was fine at the last test and I began to believe I was a long-term non-progressor. 

Yes, call me crazy.  I'm more comfortable with dying from this than dealing with the side effects of this disease. 

Now, I just feel like I'm gagging half the time. 

I already know the answer which is to go to a doctor even if I don't have health insurance (and PA has a program for hiv treatment).  I simply don't want to go.  I've become a bit of a recluse and hate going outside.  The wine store knows me as the weird freak who comes in wearing jammies and having crazy hair. 

I realize it is irresponsible to give medical advice and nobody here can who is not a doctor, but I am NOT GOING to go to a doctor.  Please tell me what antibiotics might work to get rid of this.  I'm not even sure if it is HIV related as the same thing happens with heavy dehydration, which I certainly have.

I am guessing your plan is find out how to treat the ever growing gagging growth of candida in your throat with an anti fungal that you will order on the internet.

This might prolong your eventual collapse.

I am also guessing you are hoping that you at least collapse in public , thereby getting the treatment  YOU KNOW you need.

So what to do ?

The fear off what lies beyond your home and the path to the wine shop must be awful , I am sorry you are dealing with that.
I hope you can find a way to treatment under your own volition , with out knowing exactly where you live I cannot do any off the work for you and really what would be the point?

Sir , it is time to either A] manage your demons receive the medication that will greatly improve your health , or B] await the collasp , giving up all personal control .

Your post shows you know this , waste time nit picking if you will , or truly take control off your life , I so hope its taking control that you choose.

Michael

[mecch]

That's a lovely and sobering post, Theyer. 

[Theyer]

Hope you are doing OK , come and tell tell us how things are , all the best , Michael

[zach]

You are not a long term non-progessive. Give up that pipe dream. You don't want advanced HIV/AIDS. It sucks. You were fine two years ago. HIV has been replicating in your system like mad, slowly breaking down your immune system. You're not fine now. You are developing OI's... and soon, you will get sick. Thats when the suck really starts. Why won't you go to a doctor? Talk to a doctor, or you will die untreated. Your numbers may have been fine then, you may have AIDS now 

I have dealt with candida fungus; as topical dermatitis, oral thrush, and systemic infection. This is just what I've done to manage it pretty successfully.

First, hygiene is more important now. Shower daily, even twice. Dry completely. Carefully consider every skin/cleaning product you use. Don't use any skin/oral product that contains Sodium Lauryl Sulfate. Soaps, detergents, and toothpastes use it as a foaming agent. It irratates the mouth. Nothing that is going to dry, or irritate the skin or mouth. Pretty much everything I use now is; medicated, gentle, baby soft, unscented, mild, alcohol free, organic, hippy dippy etc.

I'll never shave again. I keep everything on my body trimmed short, dermatitis seems worse when my hair grows out. The outbreak if I put a razor to my skin is not worth it.

Diet. Avoid excess sugars and triglycerides. Lots of information on Google about candida cleanse diets and probiotics.

Don't just say, its only in my mouth, and ignore the rest of your body. Candida is everywhere, inside you and on you. Everyone else too. Their immune system controls it, ours does not. If you have had a fungal growth, address it from every direction, and be serious about it.

-----
At its worst, to control an outbreak

ketaconazole (spell?) pill for systemic infection, cream for topical use on skin... rx only

100% pure Tea Tree Oil, occasionally and only for very bad topical outbreaks, smells like turpentine. Dab it on lightly, stings a bit, dries the rash, couple days later dead skin will exfoliate leaving healthy new skin (do NOT overuse)

Tea Tree, and Eucalyptus Tree, both have antifungal properties on the skin

------
Daily, what has helped me most
Product and behavior changes


Mouth

Crest or Orajel Clinical Alcohol Free mouthwash, and toothpaste. Peroxide based, NOT ALCOHOL. GENTLY!!!!, brush the soft tissues in the mouth, tongue, gums, inner lips, etc

Floss, regularly

Burt's Bees Honey lip balm, keeping moisturized is a challenge

Abreva, for any cankor, cold, fever, whatever blister

------
Body

Bronner's bar soap for body, face, and hair

Bronner's liquid concentrate, mixed down, to wash clothes and sheets

Tom's deodorant (be amazed how many swollen armpits are deodorant caused, not lymphnode)

Hollywood Beauty Tea Tree Skin and Scalp Treatment... light coating on face and scalp after every shower, pleasant smell

Aveeno oatmeal lotion, lightly from neck down

Balla mens body powder

-----
Read up on candida, and also read about seborrheic dermatitis, skin allergies, cold sores, fever blisters, mouth ulcers. Boil it all down, you'll get alot of ideas on how to develop a plan and manage


DON'T USE METHDON'T USE METHDON'T USE METHDON'T USE METHDON'T USE METH

[mecch]

ZACH, that is a lot of wonderful information.
However, nothing is really going to permanently control candida with untreated HIV.  A person can do all you recommend and more, but if the immune system is shot to hell.. The OP needs to follow your tips AND get treated with antivirals. 

Just my opinion, mind you.

[mecch]

Theriot, my personal opinion is that antivirals are the most bang for the buck.  You continue your present way of living AND take antivirals and slowly take control of your life, or not.  Even if you want to drink yourself into oblivion, it will be a MUCH better quality of life on antivirals... 
Antivirals are pretty much a "no brainer."  You take the pills everyday, and the replication stops.  Its that simple.  Swallow them with wine, who cares. Its the most important thing you can do.

[Theriot]

Hello all.  I just want to update that I am getting back into treatment with the Ryan White Program in my state.  I hope to have an appointment early next week to re-enroll (yes, I was enrolled before but dropped out).  I know I need real treatment and not just a short term OTC drug to solve the current problem.  I know I need to get back on a cocktail.  I know I'm a drunkard and a bit of an asshole (hi ann!) 

I'm not here to reconnect with anyone or be social or chat.  Like Ann said, and I said, I was banned a long time ago for cause... which is why I wanted to make it very clear forthright and not pretend to be somebody else.  Those who I have had the pleasure of meeting know me and they know my good side and my dark side. 

On the plus side, I have recently quit smoking with the help of a patch and an e-cig.  I'm on the final 2 weeks of the 3 month program and doing very well.. no actual tobacco since I quit nearly 3 months ago and I rarely use the ecig, but would panic still if I didn't have it even if I don't even want to use it.

I want to thank everyone for their comments and suggestions as they make a whole lotta sense in my senseless brain (I used to be able to reason and now it seems I've lost that ability when it comes to hiv).

I know you are all correct and I know I need proper treatment which I am seeking.  I picked up the phone today and called the intake center to schedule an appointment... I didn't reach my referral person and had to leave a message, but it's a HUGE step for me after being in denial so long. 

As to esophogeal candida, I think I have it... I've been extremely mucousy and having to blow my nose a lot over the last couple months (I've rarely used a tissue before, but burn thru a box a week now).

I am in a good place.  I live with my mother (ugh.. 40+ and living with the mother....)  But it is good for me... It's a safe space and tonight I really opened up to my mother about what is happening with me and how I feel.  We laughed, we cried, we talked about where she banged my dad and where I was conceived.  (sex talk with the mum-unit?  um... weird but good bonding).

For this I thank you all.  I think I knew what was needed even when I posted, but was still in some denial.  I used to be a blogger here a long time ago, so I'm not stupid and I KNOW THESE THINGS.  The bigger question is why I can't accept these things. 

This will be the last post in this thread from me.  Again, I've been banned and only posted to seek info which I have now thanks to you all.  To be clearer, I'll post again if I need more information, but I'm actually very smart when it comes to hiv and meds... I'm just exceedingly stupid when it comes to applying that information to me at times.

to the admins/ann:  I'd prefer to keep this account if I need to ask questions rather than revert back to the old account.  I do not expect to be a frequent visitor, but (as above) may have an occasional, rare question... even though I knew the answer and just needed moral support.  Sometimes one just needs a proper nudge in the right direction.  I hope I can have that here when I need that proper nudge, but I will not partake in social comments (or abuse) like before.  I won't post at all except for specific questions like this.  I'm still a drunk and I don't see that changing, but having a place to seek help is important to me. 

The irony of this all is that I am not a drunk because I am HIV+, but that I am HIV+ because I am a drunk.

[Theyer]

Thanks very much for Posting such a honest Post. I am really pleased you are finding your way to meds and a whole bunch off gongrats on making that first phone call .

I hope you are not  so much off a stranger as your Post indicates you maybe , your insight into the drinking and the HIV packed a Punch , and I for one will continue to check in,  hoping that progress has been made and /or some nugget that comes to you about devoting a large part off life to the grape is share by you coz as you say you ain't stupid.

All the very best to you
Michael

[Ann]

Hello all.  I just want to update that I am getting back into treatment with the Ryan White Program in my state.  I hope to have an appointment early next week to re-enroll (yes, I was enrolled before but dropped out).  I know I need real treatment and not just a short term OTC drug to solve the current problem.  I know I need to get back on a cocktail.  I know I'm a drunkard and a bit of an asshole (hi ann!) 

Hi B! I'm really, really glad you're getting yourself re-enrolled. Best news I've heard in a while.

The other mods and I all agreed to let you keep this new account. So no problems there. Believe it or not, we never like to perma-ban poz folks because we don't like to cut off anyone's access to the information and support available here. You approached us with honesty and sincerity and that goes a long way.


One thing I'd like to know - how's that weiner dog of yours?


Good luck getting re-enrolled - I hope it happens quickly, goes smoothly and you see a doctor soon and get back on those meds. Please keep us posted, otherwise we'll be worrying about you.

Hugs,
Ann

[Jeff G]

Welcome back ! .

[J.R.E.]

Good luck to you Bailey ! It's easy to fall through the cracks, and even more difficult to pull yourself up,..been there, done that,... Lift yourself up, and get back to living again.  Stick with it, and take one step at a time.


Ray

[Theriot]

I am not going to be friendly face here..  It's simply not good for me, nor good for the site.  I can be a bit toxic (as many people can). 

I can be nice but eventually, I will become an asshole.  I was here for very specific info and advice.  I got that and it's time to depart until months or years later when I need more. 

Ann is right.  I'm a drunk.  I get the rage and I express that.  (Been banned from 20+ sites since then).

That is not good for the sites nor me, so while I am thankful of being able to post here if I need it, I will not be a 'member' of this site other than for ultra-specific information. 

I cannot and will not get involved in discussions (other than mine) because it ALWAYS leads to drama. 

I have my first appointment in about 7 hours.  Wish me luck, but do it silently.. no post needed.  I already know that everyone supports me in my health, but also know that a lot of people here know me as a dick... and even they support my health choice to seek treatment even if they dislike me.

Ending message:  Get tested.  Get Treatment.  Get Happy.