POZ Community Forums
Off Topic Forums => Off Topic Forum => Topic started by: bluelove on June 29, 2006, 08:33:04 pm
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I know some of you are from the south.Pleae don't hate me for posting this. Putting on my riot gear to be ready for the fall out....
Southernness
Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.
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Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."
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Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."
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Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, ... as in: "Going to town, be back directly."
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Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.
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All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.
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Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!
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Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.
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Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
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No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
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A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.
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Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, ... and when we're "in line," .... we talk to everybody!
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Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage.
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In the South, y'all is singular, . all y'all is plural.
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Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
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Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
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When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
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Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
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And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,"Bless her heart" ... and go your own way.
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To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart!
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And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, ... bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a second language!
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And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that reads "I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could."
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SOUTHERN WOMEN
Southern women appreciate their natural assets: Clean skin. A winning smile. That unforgettable Southern drawl.
Southern women know their manners: "Yes, ma'am." "Yes, sir." "Why, no, Billy!"
Southern women have a distinct way with fond expressions : "Y'all come back!" "Well, bless your heart." "Drop by when you can." "How's your Momma?"
Southern women know their summer weather report: Humidity Humidity Humidity
Southern women know their vacation spots:The beach The beach The beach
Southern women know the joys of June, July, and August: Colorful hi-heel sandals Strapless sun dresses Iced sweet tea with mint
Southern women know everybody's first name: Honey Darlin' Shugah
Southern women know the movies that speak to their hearts: Fried Green Tomatoes Driving Miss Daisy Steel Magnolias Gone With The Wind
Southern women know their religions: Baptist Methodist Football
Southern women know their country breakfasts: Red-eye gravy Grits Eggs ! Country ham Mouth-watering homemade biscuits with momma's homemade jelly
Southern women know their cities dripping with Southern charm: Charleston (Chawl'stn) Savannah (S'vanah) Fort Worth (Foat Wuth) New Orleans (N'awlins) Atlanta (Addlanna) Tylertown ( T-Town)
Southern women know their elegant gentlemen: Men in uniform. Men in tuxedos Rhett Butler, of course!
Southern girls know their prime real estate: The Mall The Country Club The Beauty Salon
Southern girls know the four deadly sins: Having bad hair and nails Having bad manners Cooking bad food Wearing too much makeup in the summer
Southern girls know men may come and go, but friends are fahevah
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For the most part, pretty much on the mark!
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Southern women appreciate their natural assets: Clean skin. A winning smile. That unforgettable Southern drawl.
"After all, a woman's charm is 50 percent illusion" :-*
-Blanche duBois, from A Streetcar Named Desire
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Girl, I am proud of my southern fried roots...I also enjoy being from the south.
H ;D
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I'm fixing to drink my chocolate milk and go to bed.....
goodnight y'all !
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Well Doggy!!
I reckon this bout says it all.
Y'all have a good one, you hear now! :D
( don't even try the spell check, it aint gonna help nun)
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I aint had this much fun since the Hogs ate my little brother.
Lwood
who is fixin up a mess of greens and a Brisket for the 4th.
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HEY! I resemble those remarks! >:( ;) :D
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I aint had this much fun since the Hogs ate my little brother.
Lwood
who is fixin up a mess of greens and a Brisket for the 4th.
A brisket? Get a rope!
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LOL..To steal TedEBearNC's post...I resemble those remarks more than id like to admit.
Teresa ;D
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I can identify with all the comments above. I was listening to a recording of my voice the other day and I don't know what happened to my Southern accent. I was raised outside of Asheville, NC and people there have a thick accent. I only lived outside of N.C. for 3 years but somewhere along the line my accent has been watered down to nothing. I'm no longer colorful. :(
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Ford, you're very colorful! Also very easy on the eyes, and I'm sure you're easy on the ears as well.
I do tend to have that S-L-O-W Southern drawl, ask anyone who has spoken to me....picture a turtle crawling through some sticky molasses......
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:)
Being a BIG FAN, of the "Golden Girls. I am reminded of some of the hilarius conversations that take place between the charactors.
There was a time once, when Dorothy was kind of slamming Blanche, because of her "southern type" comments that she was making.
Blanche replied, well Dororthy, we all can't be from a place as socially acceptable as "Brooklyn" :D
There was another time when Blanche was attempting to join the Daughters of the Confederacy. After researching here ancestry, they refused to let her in.
Seems she had a "Feldman from Buffalo" in her past. After refusing her in, Blanche replied, "oh get over it, you lost the war" :D
I love watching those reruns. Gives me my much needed laugh everyday !!
Ray
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I love watching reruns of them too...I just love Sophia!
Teresa
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'Sweet Milk' was a new one to me, Im also adding sweet potato Pie to the menu. WITH bourbon whipped cream.
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My granny who was 94 when she died 3 yrs ago always called milk sweet milk.
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Funny stuff, BlueLove! ;D
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Glad you all liked it was worried you were going to lynch me.
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How nice, how very very nice!
I was rolling in tears. Thanks!
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Don't forget that the tooth brush was invented in the South. Anywhere else it would have been called a "teeth brush."