I am really trying hard...

[tryingforhope]

I found out today through a mutual friend that the person I had suspicions of infecting me told him that he knows he did this. I have stopped three times from picking up my cell and talking with him. I realize that it was my choice to have unprotected sex with him. I was the stupid one that believed him about testing. Anyway, I go through wanting to call and say hey I am sorry that you found out this way by a letter from the Department of Health to you son of a bitch!
I have told myself since finding out that it does not matter how I got infected and I am doing better everyday yet late at night when I wake up drenched in sweat, I think about it over and over. I can still picture the momment that this jerk pretty much pressured me into sex with him.
To make matters worse this mutual friend told me that the jerk is saying I infected him to everyone.
Sigh......

[blondbeauty]

I can understand your feelings. I contracted HIV from my partner but he did not know...With time you will forget about how you got infected. Anyway, if you had unprotected sex from time to time this would have happened sooner or later. We are the only ones responsible for having unprotected sex. Forgive yourself. We all make mistakes and this one is not one of the worst you could make.

[ndrew]

Oh, I am really sorry about the lies he tells.  And you have a right to be angry, just don't letting it swallow you...

Kindest wishes,
Drew

[wellington]

If it were me, I'd certainly take the opportunity to have a heart-to-heart with that individual about his making comments to others about the source of his infection. On the surface, it sounds rather irresponsible of him.

[LatinAlexander]

With all respect...

F*CKING ASSHOLE!

alex

[Life]

Whelp,  rats on that one...  I am not sure you will ever know who infected who.  In all truth, it ain't worth sweatin about..  Use this energy in a  more productive manor..  Like learnin how to move on...   As far as him sayin things about you.. Kick em in the nuts and tell him to shut up.

Just sayin,

[emeraldize]

Hello Trying for Hope,

There is one line of your post that grabbed my attention. I don't understand it and write to ask if you would explain it.

"I was the stupid one that believed him about testing."

Did he tell you he'd been tested?

Thanks
Em

[tryingforhope]

Em he did say that he had tested after the time that he pretty much forced me. It ended our relationship at that point anyway. I later found out from the mutual acquaintance that he had not tested. As for who gave it to who. I was negative before him not that it matters. I am trying hard not to let it bother me but really what bothers me the most is him "outing" my status to most of our mutual acquaintances. I am getting calls left and right from even former co-workers and supervisors, that is how far he has spread this.

[emeraldize]

*

[Eldon]

Hello Tryingforhope,

It is unfortunate that your "X" has positioned you under these circumstances. For whatever it is worth, I would suggest that you schedule some sort of sit down at Starbucks or something and make an attempt to get to the bottom of this benge he is on for whatever the reason may be.

It is imperative that you gain an understanding with this situation.



Make the BEST of each Day!