Hey Guys! Have a concern!

[bret125]

Hey guys.. I need your advice!

I am a male and I have engaged in a few episodes of RECEIVING un protected oral from other males. Thinking this was safe! We kissed, hugged, also rubbing genitals to genitals etc but no penetration at all. I have had protected anal sex where I was the one topping twice. Now, I got tested for std and hiv since I had a fever and the doctor told me I was positive for syphilis..(?) Now, I am scared that could I have got hiv since I got syphilis and they both are in the same blood assuming the other males were hiv positive?? Isnt it spread blood to blood contact just like syphilis? I did not get any sores etc nor did I see any on the guys. I only got head (never gave head) and kissed etc so since syphilis is in the blood and assuming hiv in the same blood and I caught syphilis somehow his blood entered my body ( i dont have any cuts neither did i see any visible on the guys) wouldnt I automatically get hiv?

Please help with any and all advice since this is on my mind..

[Ann]

Brett,

UNLIKE hiv, syphilis is spread through skin-to-skin contact, so condoms don't always protect against syphilis.

You have not had a risk for hiv infection.

Getting a blowjob is not a risk.

Rubbing genitals together, without penetration (aka frottage), is not a risk.

Hugging is not a risk.

Kissing is not a risk.

Protected intercourse is not a risk. There have been three long-term studies of couples where one is positive and one is negative. In the couples who used condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, but no barrier for oral activities, not one of the negative partners became infected with hiv. Not one.



Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED TO TEST FOR HIV SPECIFICALLY FOLLOWING BLOWJOBS, KISSING, FROTTAGE OR PROTECTED INTERCOURSE, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann

[bret125]

Thanks Ann for the quick reply.

I never used condoms when I got blowjobs..  I never thought it was that easy for a person getting a blowjob could get syphilis. I thought the person giving the bj has more to worry about... I didn't have cuts either so I am still wondering how that happened? The reason I am asking bout hiv is because my doctor told me I had to check for hiv since I am positive for syphilis.. So i thought that since I got syphilis just be getting sucked maybe if hiv was also present in the blood it could have got in me through me penis or maybe when we were kissing the guy could have had sores in his mouth so I got syphilis and hiv that way??

[Ann]

I didn't have cuts either so I am still wondering how that happened?

If you're wondering how you got syphilis, as I said earlier, it is spread through skin-to-skin contact. All you have to do is come into contact with one of the chancres (sores). It could be in the mouth, throat, on the genitals or in or around the anal area. Chancres don't hurt, so unless you see it, you wouldn't know it was there.

Hiv is NOT spread through skin-to-skin contact. It IS spread through unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse, through sharing drug injecting equipment, and mother-to-child during pregnancy or childbirth. And that's it.

You could have gotten the syphilis through being blown or even through the frottage you've engaged in. Syphilis is MUCH more easily transmitted than hiv.

Ann

[bret125]

Thanks Ann,

That really does help my understanding.. I have one more question.. You say that HIV is not spread skin to skin so lets say the other person had a sore or chancres either in his mouth or genitals or anal area (and he was HIV positive) if i either rubbed on his anus with my penis, or vice versa, or kissed his sore/chancres in the mouth (by accident obviously) the blood from the sore/ chancres would not give me HIV? especially if he rubbed his penis that had the sore/ chancres on my anus? (Isn't that the site how HIV enters and attaches to cells that turn into HIV? I did notice a small abrasion or lump on my rectal hole which was quite uncomfortable when I wiped my self ( i do tend to wipe myself excessively to the point where I see blood on the tissue paper). The doctor looked at this and he thought it was hemorrhoids.  Would this not be a gateway for HIV to enter though the sores/ chancres and into my rectum by the hemorrhoids or does there actually need to be internal penile to anal penetration?

[Ann]

Bret,

Syphilis chancres are not bleeding sores.

Hiv is a fragile, difficult to transmit virus that is primarily transmitted INSIDE the human body, as in unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse where the virus never leaves the confines of the two bodies.

Once outside the body, small changes in temperature, and pH and moisture levels all quickly damage the virus and render it unable to infect. For this reason, frottage, even when there are sores or cuts or whatever present, is not a risk. Frottage takes place on the OUTSIDE of the body.

At the end of the day, if you're in doubt, the only way to know your hiv status is through testing. A test at the three  month point past your last incident of unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse will be conclusive.

Ann

[bret125]

I just had protected anal sex with another guy yesterday. I was the top. I know this is no risk for hiv. After about 20 mins he sat on my penis and started rubbing on it and grinding etc. He had lube down there because of anal sex earlier. I almost felt my penis inside him but it wasn't that tight. It could have been almost up there. I wasn't trying to penetrate him without a condom. Earlier when we had protected anal sex I could tell when my penis entered him. I don't think my penis went in him cuz it was not like earlier. Maybe I am worrying too much! The guy I was with said it was outside and not in him. I am not that familiar with anal sex kind of new to this. BTW this incident was for a few seconds and then I told him to jack me off instead. So my question is:
1. My HIV risk? I was the top
2. Would I know if I was inside him? Or could it be with the lube it felt like tight but I wasn't in him.
3. Does there need to be a cut on both of us for infection or did i need to come inside him for infection?

[Ann]

Bret,

I've merged your new thread into your original thread - where you should post all your additional thoughts or questions. It helps us to help you when you keep everything in one thread. It doesn't matter how long it has been since you last posted in your thread or if the subject matter is different.

If you need help finding your thread when you come here, click on the "Show own posts" link under your name in the left-hand column of any forum page.

Please also read through the Welcome Thread so you can familiarize yourself with our Forum Posting Guidelines. Thank you for your cooperation.




1. No penetration took place, so no risk. What you engaged in is considered frottage, and as I've already told you, frottage is not a risk for hiv infection.

2. You would have known.

3. Again, as you've already been told, hiv is a fragile, difficult to transmit virus that is primarily transmitted INSIDE the human body, as in unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse where the virus never leaves the confines of the two bodies.

Once outside the body, small changes in temperature, and pH and moisture levels all quickly damage the virus and render it unable to infect. For this reason, frottage, even when there are sores or cuts or whatever present, is not a risk. Frottage takes place on the OUTSIDE of the body.

And once more as you've already been told, at the end of the day, if you're in doubt, the only way to know your hiv status is through testing. A test at the three  month point past your last incident of unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse will be conclusive.

Please re-read your entire thread until it sticks with you, particularly reply #1. It contains all you need to know to look after your sexual health.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!!!

Ann

[bret125]

Hey Guys!

I just could not wait any longer so i got the HIV DNA test done. The results below:
                                                                                                                       

Test (Req #2228243)

Value

Range

Result

Test Date

Results Date




HIV-1 Antibody

<1.00

<1.00

Negative

05/13/2013

05/15/2013



HIV 1/O/2 Abs, Qual

Non Reactive

Non Reactive

Negative

05/13/2013

05/15/2013



HIV-1 DNA

Negative

-

Negative

05/13/2013

05/15/2013
   
This was 22 days after exposure. Do I need to wait and get tested at the 3 month mark or am I done since this test is accurate?

Thanks for your input.

[Ann]

Bret,

What part of YOU DID NOT HAVE A RISK do you not understand?

You wasted your money on an expensive test that not only did you NOT need, but is also not an approved diagnostic test. If you had an actual risk (YOU DID NOT HAVE A RISK), you would still need antibody testing at the appropriate time.

You did not have a risk and you do not have hiv. End of story.

Ann

[bret125]

Thanks Ann

I am clear about that now. However, I am concerned about my activity for 3 days last week. The first was just unprotected oral sex with a guy. I was gettin blown. The next day I had unprotected oral and protected anal sex with another guy. I was the top and gettin blown. The 3rd day, I had again unprotected oral and protected anal sex with the same guy I had the day before. However, this is where I am freaked. I know everything we did thus far was not a HIV exposure, but after I noticed blood streaks or small dots of blood on the sheets!! They were dry spots. This is causing me to freak out. I don't know where they came even if they came from us. I did not notice any blood on my condom or in each others mouth. I don't think my condom broke. My Friend took it off and said it didn't break. I did not see blood on his anus area or body. So this is strange! I am worried about gettin HIV this way. Where the spots were on the sheets we were not on top of that area.. Can you help?

[Ann]

Bret,

The streaks may not even have been blood and even if they were, you are NOT going to get hiv from sheets or any other object in the environment.

It sounds like you would benefit from counselling in order to get to the bottom of your obvious hiv phobia. We cannot help you with that here.

If you read the Welcome Thread before posting like you're supposed to, you will have read the following posting guideline:

Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

This rule applies whether or not you have taken out a subscription.

Please consider yourself warned!

Ann

[bret125]

Hi Ann
Sorry Ann I think I confused you. The DNA test were done prior to my last exposure risk i am talking about. I am asking about the 3 days I had sex protected anal and unprotected oral. I have not got tested for this. My question is how about the guy bled in his anus? or the guy who gave me oral bled in his mouth? or i bled after getting oral 2 times within half an hour? or his anal blood and my condom broke? I didnt remember seeing this blood before.. Please help?

[Ann]

Brett,

If the condom had broken, it would have been obvious.

None of your activities were risks for hiv infection. As far as him blowing you with blood in the mouth, unless you are in the habit of repeatedly punching a person in the mouth before they blow you, there could not possibly be enough blood present to cause concern, and even then it's doubtful that transmission would happen that way.

You simply did not have a risk, despite the presence of what you believe to be blood on the sheets. Hiv transmission does not happen like that in the real world.

You have NOT had a risk for hiv infection.

Ann