Introduction - Stressful times

[s.papadas1]

Hello to all. I am already on medication.
11 December 2019 first medicine with a start at VL 25.000 and CD4 278
05 February VL 25 and CD4 478. Next test is expected on October. I have been  extremely careful with the timing of my medicine to the level of a minute! My goal has been to be as healthy as possible. But I’ve been stressed on a daily basis with what will happen if for some reason I need to be hospitalised ? What if I have a car accident and wake up after a week in hospital. I will have missed my medication and probably my status will have been shared. NOBODY knows and I have nobody to share my fears with....your thoughts will be useful

[Jim Allen]

Hiya,

Welcome to the forum and sorry to hear about the diagnosis.
Sounds like treatment wise you are doing great, already UD that's fantastic.

Sorry to hear that you have been feeling stressed, you're not alone though and we are here for you if you ever need to talk, vent or have questions.

But I’ve been stressed on a daily basis with what will happen if for some reason I need to be hospitalised ?

Well, I've been in hospital over the years for different things, what happens depends on what they need to do to treat you. I'm not sure what the concern is?

What if I have a car accident and wake up after a week in hospital. I will have missed my medication and probably my status will have been shared. NOBODY knows and I have nobody to share my fears with....your thoughts will be useful

Okay so based on my own experience, if you have an accident and are out cold for a week you will miss your meds and they will treat you for your injuries. If your charts have your meds on file they will know about your HIV status and if not well then they will not...Anyhow regardless once you are ready to leave you will restart treatment.

If you are in hospital but not out cold for a longer stay you can let them know what medication you are taking and either they will ask you to take a treatment break or you will continue treatment during your stay.

Try not to overthink these things, being newly diagnosed is a lot to digest and many of us imagined the worst or these "what if" scenarios but in reality it's seldom a real issue. 

Jim

[Jim Allen]

I have nobody to share my fears with

Well I'm here and so are the other members living with HIV.

[s.papadas1]

I am so grateful already for the response. It’s reassuring. Indeed I overthink over things. I have always been in control of my life and this is the first time I am not. I have had the chance of great education and career and this has been a harsh to me.

I have always been decisive and determined to the point that I very very quickly adapted to my new situation without any concern or fear and with firmness that could make many feel jealous. However, as time progressed, I started developing this extreme obsession over my status being exposed while being comatose. Or losing my medication while in hospital and developing huge adherence. I know it might sound crazy and probably i need to see a psychologist.

[Jim Allen]

 

I have always been in control of my life and this is the first time I am not.

You are still in control of your life. The odds always were live long enough and at some point you would acquire or develop some or multiple manageable illnesses. You have reached that moment in your life, now you have control as you can treat it and choose not let it dictate the rest of your life.

However, as time progressed, I started developing this extreme obsession over my status being exposed while being comatose. Or losing my medication while in hospital and developing huge adherence. I know it might sound crazy and probably i need to see a psychologist.

Realistically if you ever do end up having to stop HIV treatment in Hospital temporarily due to medical treatment it's not an issue.  As for being comatosed I think this in itself is a rare engough issue to worry about but even if it did happen then HIV treatment would be the least of your concerns ,although, if it's long enough for you to reach an AIDS stage they will notice and start testing and treating.

I know it might sound crazy and probably i need to see a psychologist.

I've heard far more extreme concerns from people both newly diagnosed and Living with HIV over the years, including someone who thought his meds was making his legs shrink ... So crazy, no far from it, but I do think you so need some support, friends and perhaps some reassurance 

Face to face support like a therapist, peer support or a psychologist are also support options, none of them would mean you are crazy. 

Jim

[s.papadas1]

Thanks so much Jim. Already i feel i did the right thing registering myself here.