Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
March 29, 2024, 02:10:48 am

Login with username, password and session length


Members
  • Total Members: 37614
  • Latest: bondann
Stats
  • Total Posts: 772947
  • Total Topics: 66310
  • Online Today: 741
  • Online Ever: 5484
  • (June 18, 2021, 11:15:29 pm)
Users Online
Users: 0
Guests: 668
Total: 668

Welcome


Welcome to the POZ Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

  • The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own physician.

  • All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

  • Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators of these forums. Click here for “Do I Have HIV?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ community forums.

  • We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are true and correct to their knowledge.

  • Product advertisement—including links; banners; editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ.

To change forums navigation language settings, click here (members only), Register now

Para cambiar sus preferencias de los foros en español, haz clic aquí (sólo miembros), Regístrate ahora

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the symbol in each box.

Author Topic: feeling blah...  (Read 6104 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

bleueyes

  • Guest
feeling blah...
« on: December 09, 2008, 03:10:11 pm »
Today my husband ran into the room while I was training the dogs. He did it in such a way it was obvious he does not want the dogs trained. 
But I keep it up and told him to go to his room and go to sleep. YES... I was talking to my husband.
Now that I think about it...... I had a good day!!!
Ahhh... he says how mean I am, but unlike any woman he has ever known, (except his Mother), I cook, clean, do laundry and get bossy. This man's life was out of order.
The mold growing in his sink, the twelve loads of laundry in his closet, and the fact he loves that I am so orderly when he shops. Our pantry is in awesome order and never has it been so full since I've known him. He does buy food, I help pay bills.
The situation is when he passes, he is in good health, the house and such goes to his brother. I am fine with this. So right now I try to think of ways to make sure I am OK in the future.
So far I have a savings account he knows of and I try to put at least fifty dollars in it every month.
My mom thinks he should give me the house and everything, I told him this.
So my Mom hates me and called me selfish, so I really don't have my Mom's support in this relationship. I actually only recently figured out she was using me to plan for her retirement.
I figured this out once I noticed my Mom likes to be helpful to those who she thinks will give her stuff, then slanderess to those who she feels owe her. Plus my father has already made sure she is taken care of when he passes. Except she has a huge credit card debt, something like twenty four cards.
Yeah... that sucks.
I am learning that there are some things that I can do to take care of my daughter and myself.
Anyway's back to my husband's mess. He would go buy new socks rather than wash them. I THINK HE IS SO CUTE, I LOVE HIM!!!!!
Sometimes I feel angry because we are training the dogs and he does not really want them trained. Honestly we aren't really working together on this. We are, but we aren't.
I don't know, but I will work it out.
All I know is last night was the first night I got some sleep, and it is worth it to train these dogs. This morning I got up and was so rested I thought I over slept, no it was just that the dogs did not jump on the bed all night, so I got some sleep. In fact I woke up two hours earlier than I was planning. Still I was rested. 
« Last Edit: December 09, 2008, 03:30:15 pm by bleueyes »

Offline Snowangel

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,429
Re: feeling blah...
« Reply #1 on: December 09, 2008, 05:24:15 pm »
How can your husband give the house to your brother if you are married?

How many dogs do you have and what kind are they?
Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important

The heaviest thing you can carry is a grudge..

One thing you can give and still keep...is your word.

One thing you can't recycle is wasted time.

bleueyes

  • Guest
Re: feeling blah...
« Reply #2 on: December 09, 2008, 06:00:24 pm »
We have two American Staffordshire Terriors.  Actually they are my husband's.  I found a trainer. This trainer is using shock collars, but I don't use the remotes, my husband does.  The boys are kind of afraid, but we are told they will learn to enjoy behaving once they learn to behave. 
I think we should have maybe gone somewhere else or with someone else.  I am not too sure my husband is happy with this guy.
My husband says this guy wants the dogs to miserable dogs who sit in a corner, he wants them to be happy. 
The trainer says they will not be happy until the they learn that by behaving it means more physical contact.
The trainer does refer to his dog who is a police dog.  But I have also noticed inconsistancies in his stories.  He said his dog trixie, then mentioned another dog, then looked at me in a weird way and said, "Ohh... my dog Trixie died."
The guy is always late, has excuses and blames the shcok collar company for his tardiness by a day.  The next day he said his secretary was trying to call to set up an appointmnet. I called she never called me back.
Everytime this guy comes over he appears as if he just took a shower. 
All I know is our dogs are afraid!!!

Offline Snowangel

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,429
Re: feeling blah...
« Reply #3 on: December 09, 2008, 06:54:41 pm »
Those are pitbulls, are'nt they?  We have one too.  See bighead in avatar :)
I have never knew anyone who used shock collars but if you aren't comfortable or happy with the guy, you should give him the boot or you could Taser him and see if does what you ask him to.   I do see people with huge chains for collars, bigger than the ones you would use to tow a truck, which I think is pretty sad.
Sounds like the guy is pretty lucky he hasn't been bitten yet.  I can't imagine the boys learning anything but being afraid.
How old are your dogs?
Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important

The heaviest thing you can carry is a grudge..

One thing you can give and still keep...is your word.

One thing you can't recycle is wasted time.

Offline BT65

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 10,786
Re: feeling blah...
« Reply #4 on: December 10, 2008, 09:31:00 am »
I would never let someone train my dogs who was shocking them.  That only teaches fear and violence to the dogs.

About the other things, I'm not sure what your point was?
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Condom and Lube Info https://www.poz.com/basics/hiv-basics/safer-sex
Please check out our lessons on PEP and PrEP. https://www.poz.com/basics/hiv-basics/pep-prep

https://www.poz.com/basics/hiv-basics/treatmentasprevention-tasp

Offline vivyt

  • Member
  • Posts: 565
Re: feeling blah...
« Reply #5 on: December 10, 2008, 10:33:28 pm »
I agree. Shocking should NEVER be part of a training program. Dogs can be easily trained if you are consistant and reward. I also do not believe in physical punishment such as hitting or spanking. Just hearing about the shocking really upsets me. How do you feel about it?????

bleueyes

  • Guest
Re: feeling blah...
« Reply #6 on: December 12, 2008, 05:53:28 pm »
The point, there needs to be no point this is my day...

My boys are two years. They actually are pretty good, just spoiled in the way they sleep in bed with us. Now they have been sleeping in their own beds, but in the morning they get my husband up out of bed and after he moves to the couch they sleep next to me. When they are hungry they lick their lips until we feed them breakfast.
So really all we are working on is the barking at the nieghbors and trash truck.
How do you get your pitbull to behave? My husband seems to not trust me since he had a pitbull for twelve years before these two. So I am actually new to the idea of having a dog.
« Last Edit: December 12, 2008, 05:56:30 pm by bleueyes »

Offline Snowangel

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,429
Re: feeling blah...
« Reply #7 on: December 12, 2008, 08:58:15 pm »
Basically, I just try to be consistent with him.  Don't each of you have a different set of rules.  If I don't want him on the couch, he can't get up on the couch ever and if he tries to get up, I tell him, NO, everytime.  It was supposed to be my SO's dog, therefore, his responsibilty, but he just kept him caged for most of the day.  I have never in my life crated a dog so I took him out of the crate, let him stay in one room, till he was ready to be in the whole house.
 I take him out for walks and am trying to teach him not to pull.  I am just using one of those collars that tightens up when he pulls and tell him, NO, when he starts to pull.   My problem is that he is huge so if he sees a squirrel or something, it takes all my strength to get him back. I don't take him out on the street, just in the woods near my house.
I have a small dog that he is good with. They play all the time and he is careful not to bite her too hard. He lets the little one lick him in the face all the time. My mother just got a new dog from the shelter and he is good with her.  My 3some were just a couple of years old when I got him and he is really good with all of them.  My daughter used to crack me up ,when she was like 3, she would tell him to go to bed(crate) in a loud voice and he would go right in and she would lock him in.  He listened to her better than me for a while. 
I have never really tried to control barking, because it hasn't been an issue.  Are your boys from the same litter? Is one more of a leader than the other?
Try to get comfortable with both dogs before you take them both on at the same time.
Good Luck!  Like Viv, said just try to be consistent across the board.
Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important

The heaviest thing you can carry is a grudge..

One thing you can give and still keep...is your word.

One thing you can't recycle is wasted time.

bleueyes

  • Guest
Re: feeling blah...
« Reply #8 on: December 13, 2008, 06:07:17 pm »
Both of the boys are from the same litter. The larger one wants dominance, but this is slowing down.
My husband's friend gave the boys to my husband as a gift, my husband had a dog before who was very good.  He was my husband's best friend!  Now that I think about it the boys aren't bad dogs; they just hurt when they jump on us. Which they are real good at trying to control themselves now, they listen to us when we say to stop and at times have not jumped on us, on their own.
Currently we have them sleeping on their beds and if they want, they sleep on the recliner.
I have been trying to be consistant with them. And them not sleeping on top of us is a big improvement. Although he tried the shock collar, actually we took the shock collars off of the boys.  They seem to be happier.
Well tonight I am going to ask my husband to help walk the boys. It is usually a very tiring experience for them and us, but I feel good when we walk them.
I found the trainer, so I could walk them both at the same time. They are so strong, so if you have a hard time pulling one back; I can't even try to walk these two at the same time by myself.
Even though I have been as bored as the boys and just wanted to take them out. I don't want to get in a mess.
My daughter is away at school and when she came home for Thanksgiving, our larger boy was so happy to see her, his bottom was wagging away. He usually acts kind of like an old ... old dog, but he is only two.
My daughter is spending her last year in California at an elementary school. I will be homeschooling her next year.
One time almost two years ago my boys brought a dead pigeon to my husband, they dropped it right in his hands. I am not proud of this, but the boys were. My husband shudders everytime it is mentioned. The boys caught the pigeon in the back yard.
It is real nice your pets listen to your daughter, my daughter is still kind of grossed out by our pet's slobber.

 


Terms of Membership for these forums
 

© 2024 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved.   terms of use and your privacy
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.