Worried about HIV+ Best Friend

[theeviltwin]

Hi,

I've a best friend who told me he was poz almost exactly a year ago. I'm the only person he has ever told. He didn't even tell his family. I worry for him because it has been a year since he's positive and I don't think he's taking his meds regularly. Actually, I think he's not on meds at all. We rarely talk about his condition when we're together because he's someone who doesn't like to communicate his feelings and hates showing weakness.

He hasn't been taking care of his health as he parties a lot (drugs + alcohol). I just want him to get better. In addition, HIV treatment is so expensive. I've found Bangkok to have hospitals provider better alternatives. I can't control his partying lifestyle but I just want to help him deal with his health. And it's just so frustrating whenever we talk about something that's remotely close to emotions or his condition, he clams up. He relies on normal prescriptions to treat his opportunistic infections which is usually the flu or sore throat because it's cheaper compared to getting the pills for hiv treatment.

I've been reading up on HIV treatments, pills, hospitals, stories, blogs, EVERYTHING.

I want to take the next step and plan with him regarding his treatment but I'm afraid he'd think I'm being sympathetic. I know he has no one else to turn to except for me and both his counselor and doctor whom he has to pay for (money is tight for him).

I love him so much and I cry whenever I the thought of him leaving me. I want to be there for him.

I don't know if I should really sit down with him and talk about it. Sometimes it feels that I'm more worried about his condition than him.

Any advice??

Thanks guys for taking time to read my rants. <3

[Ann]

Twin,

Has it occurred to you that he may not be on meds because he may not need them yet? I've been poz for around thirteen years and I don't need meds yet.

Sore throats and flu are NOT opportunistic infections. They're just things that anyone of any serostatus can come down with.

If you want to know what illnesses ARE OIs, check out the Lessons about them.

The only thing you can do is let him know you care and are worried about him. Whether or not he lets you in is for him to decide, and you need to respect that decision either way. I know all too well what it's like to be worried about someone, but you can do nothing to change them. I know it's hard, but that's just how it is.

Good luck.

Ann

[theeviltwin]

Ann,

Thanks for your advice

So is it better to take tests to determine his CD4 count before he decides whether to be on meds? I don't want to start medication when it's too late.

Thanks

[Matty the Damned]

Ann,

Thanks for your advice

So is it better to take tests to determine his CD4 count before he decides whether to be on meds? I don't want to start medication when it's too late.
Thanks

Must be a typo, but I thought your friend was the one considering medications?

In any event, a series of HIV viral load and CD4 tests (as well as various other biochem tests) are used to determine when a person should start medication.

MtD

[theeviltwin]

*i don't want him to start medication when it's too late.

As long as he keeps his health up and goes for tests he might not need to take meds? Sigh. I think he still may be in the stage of denial.