Africa - worried

[kyle1234]

hello !

I'm currently in an African country where the HIV infection estimation is 11%. I've been travelling for a while like this with my work, I also have a family back home.

Until now I managed to keep it safe (no contacts at all) but here it happened for some times.

So I met a woman in a bar and had condom protected vaginal sex, twice. During this act once she bit me on the neck (not bleeding, just a small mark left). The next morning after she left I got a call from an unknown person telling me in the future to avoid her as she's infected.

Of course I begin to freak out. Even if I cannot be sure that person is saying the truth and even if I used condoms (+ the bit I just wrote about), I'm still a lot worried.
Of course I will have a test as soon as it can be conclusive, I've had tests before just to keep my mind safe, but what to do until then.

Shall I start PEP treatment right away ?

Another psychological problem is what am I going to tell my wife at home when I will go on holiday (1 month), as we are always having unprotected sex since married and I don't want her to be exposed to any risk.

I'm really worried, as I have a family to support, a very young daughter that I want to see growing up.

Anyway, I will stop any sexual activity in this country and hopefully all extra-marital intercourses.

I'm not browsing since a long time this site but I see a lot of nice people (like Ann & Andy, thanks!) who give really great advices.

So my questions are:

- how worried should I be, having in mind the kind of exposures I encountered ?
- what am I going to do about my wife on my vacation ? I was hoping to keep her totally out of this before any conclusive test results but that seems impossible.

[kyle1234]

please reply !

I have now around 30 hours after contact and I really need to see if PEP is available in thic country.

Thank You Very Much !

[anniebc]

Nothing you have described has put you at risk for HIV, you had protected sex so you have nothing to worry about.

You do not need to test or take PEP over this incident.

Jan

[Ann]

Kyle,

Condoms have been proven to prevent hiv infection. There have been long-term studies of couples where one is positive and one is negative. In the couples who used condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, but no barrier for oral activities, not one of the negative partners became infected with hiv. Not one.

I was in a serodiscordant relationship for over eight years. We used condoms and he is hiv negative to this day.

You didn't have a risk, you don't need to test and you certainly do NOT need PEP. You don't need to use condoms with your wife either.

Keep using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse (outside your marriage), correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple.

And as for being told this woman is hiv positive and you should avoid her, what a load of shit, quite frankly. It's attitudes like that which perpetuate the stigma and discrimination we who are positive face on a daily basis. There's no need to avoid anyone with hiv. All you need to do is use a condom if you have intercourse. You can touch, kiss, even use their eating utensils without risk of infection. It's high time people became informed.

Ann

[kyle1234]

Hello Ann !

Our server had some timeouts today so I was not connected until now.

And having also considered time zone difference, I already went to see a doctor. (Here almost any doctor can tell you a lot about this as they experience cases really often).
He also said that maybe that person who called me wanted to black-mail me, maybe in the end to get some money (he called today also, but I'm not speaking to him anymore, it's useless, he's talking only bullshit - just surprised he is so inventive)
I think maybe a mistake was giving the woman my phone number, but I thought that maybe sometime I might want to see her again or she will need my help.

Anyway this doctor said that although it's not in their policy to give PEP for condom intercourse, the last decision will be mine. Anyway it was not expensive at all so I decided at least to buy it and think thoroughly about it in the evening when I will have some time with myself, after work. (I think I will re-check (in the garbage) the condoms if they are not broken (never happened to me to break any))

The PEP he gave me is Lamivudine & Zidovudine (Zidolam).

I must put in balance one month of side effects (as I was told there are no long term side-effects)  with 6 months (or more) of worries. Anyway I'm having tests regularly (at least once per year), as I'm traveling a lot. And I have at least one more month to stay here so with PEP I have nothing to loose, just the bad-feeling of side-effects. All my life I tried not to take any unnecessary risks, at home or at work.

I'm just thinking of my wife and daughter, I don't want to deprive them of their father/husband as I already decided to stay home and not travel any more. I want to see my daughter growing up, I want to live to see my grand-children.
And also I don't know the real availability of HAART in my country (for the 0.000000001 % chance I'll need it)


Thank you very much for this advice, after reading this an seeing the doctor I'm having some extra peace of mind. Maybe in the end I will not take PEP, but I will still have to think till tonight.

[Ann]

kyle,

You do NOT need PEP. What a waste of money and drugs in a place where both are scarce commodities.

And why worry for six months, even if you did have a risk? (which you did NOT have) The window period for hiv testing is THREE months.

Again, you do NOT need PEP. It would be beyond silly to take it for protected intercourse.

Ann