New numbers, I need some advice

[TavoJavi]

Hi friends,
It has been a while that I am following your threads and I am learning each day to deal with HIV thanks to all of you. I posted before sometimes and i have always gotten good advices and, specially, kind phrases and lot of frendship.
Now I would like to share with you my new numbers after 14 weeks of treatment and to get some comments and advices.
When I started treatmen (sustiva and combivir) my counts were 11k, 154, 18%, after 6 weeks of treatment my counts were 280, 228 (CD4) and 24,5 %. Actually, after 14 weeks, my last numbers are:  VL<50, 300 and 21,5%.
I am bit worried because of my percentage, I really expected to have at least the same number but it is lesser.
Although, I am very very happy of the virus which is in the range of undetectable and my CD4 are still rising.
I have also some other good news, when I figured out that I was infected I had to plan a long trip to find a secure land where I could get treatment and health support, but I was forced to leave my son because I couldn't carry him to un uncertain destiny. Miracously, I could deal very well with my new reality of a new country, new people, new language and my son is coming finally to join me in two weeks. He is very happy and I really hope to devote my life to fulfill his dreams and his hopes in the future.
I also got a small subsidized appartment for people with HIV and my son will have now a place where he could live, study and help me to try a good father. I still feel very guilty of many things I did in the past.
Thanks to all of you.

PD. I tried to post in the other website all this days and I couldn't find the proper link. When I read a more carefully I understood why.... shame of me

[Moffie65]

Tavo Javi,

Wow, your numbers are looking very healthy, and certainly going in the right direction.  Your percentages will fluctuate, but over the long term, tracking it will help you to know where your immune system is going.

If you please, it would be to your benefit to let us at least know what country or place on the planet you are, there are many members of these forums from all over the world and many know of ways to help find family support systems.

Finally, the guilt thing will kill you my friend.  You must face your guilt demons, and place them firmly in the past, where they belong.  We are doomed to live for today, because yesterday is history, and tomorrow is simply a dream.  Guilt has no place in the life of a person Living with HIV/AIDS, and guilt will very simply, help the virus destroy your immune system.  Be a wonderful father, and enjoy your time with your son.  I bet a dollar to a doughnut you will see him married and be a grandfather.  Mark my words.

In Love, and Support.

[TavoJavi]

Tim, thank you very much for your reply,
It really gave me a shoot of life and hope. Concerning my feeling of guilty, you are truly right, it won't help me at all to find a normal way of living and to have a good time with my son.
Once in a while I come back to the time when I got infected, some two years ago, and all the sadness in my mind when I new my new reality and my decision of leaving part of my life and my son, almost a whole in my life.
Happily he is finally coming and I will have the time to repair all the sadness in the last 8 months.
By the way, I am living in Ottawa, Canada where I met nice and very supportive people that guided me to pass through this darkness and narrow tunel. They helped me to bring my son and to get a wonderful appartment for him and myself. I believe that life has been very kind with me, sometimes I feel that I got too much, but I will try to return back all of this helping other needed and lonely persons.
Thanks a lot
Tavo