hate my life

[Jeff64]

I am constantly bored with everything. I have become reclusive and want to sleep all the time

I rarely want to see my family and am just tired of this. I have been taking citalopram for several years and it seems to do nothing at all.

What can I do to feel life again? Anyone with a similar experience out there?

Jeff

[BT65]

Jeff,

Many of us here have gone through exactly what you've described.  What I would suggest it getting a good therapist.  Sometimes you don't click with the first one; try again.  I believe that antidepressants should go hand-in-hand with therapy.  That's one of the things that's worked for me.

I also have a pretty good network (friends wise).  Some are HIV+, some not.  You may want to get ahold of your nearest ASO (Aids Service Organization) and talk to someone there about a support group.  It always helps to have other people around when you're feeling so blue.

Hang in there.  We're here.
  Luv,
Betty

[AndyArrow]

Jeff,

I have to agree with Betty about seeing a therapist and a caseworker at an ASO.  Especially if you find yourself becoming more and more reclusive.  Having those appointments will force you to get up and out of bed and out of the house.

Maybe citalopram just isn't working for you anymore.  I was on prozac for a while, it worked great in the beginning but eventually switched to a different drug after I noticed my depression getting worse.  Exercise can also be a great mood enhancer.  If you join a gym not only will you get the benefits of the exercise but you be getting out and seeing people.  Where I live the local YMCA offers discounts based on your income.

Good luck & keep talking,
AA

[Still_Here4Now]

Hey the other's are correct get out the house. I fall into the same. I have made myself get out. I go to my church and help out as well as am trying to join the EMA Ryan WHite Planning council. Just do not let this beat you

[Peter6836]

As well as seeing a therapist which is an excellent suggestion. You should see a psychiatrist. Perhaps your meds need to be changed. I was on prozac for twenty years and there came a point when it stopped working. Changing my meds helped me greatly. Your therapist, and psychiatrist work hand in hand for you, see them both and keep working for you health. You can feel better.
Peter

[Jeff64]

I am starting with Kaiser. I have an appt with my new GP on the 17th.
I am going to let him know how shitty I feel about life.

Then I'll tell him about my HIV status and my osteopenia....


I still today hate all of this.  I have so many negative things going on right now it is hard to cope. I just want to wake up one morning and have all the bad just go.

[AndyArrow]

Jeff-

We've all been there where we hope it was all just a bad dream but the people on here are examples that things can and do get better.

I'm glad you have an appointment with a new doc and make sure you really tell him how you're doing and hopefully he can recommend a psychiatrist and therapist.

Good Luck!
AA

[maddalfred]

"I have been taking citalopram for several years and it seems to do nothing at all."

Jeff, sorry you are feeling so down and shitty. I was started on citalopram myself a few months back and have increased it from the original 20mg to the current 60 and may have to increase again. If the citalopram has quit making a difference for you, it may be time to explore other meds that might make a difference and give you some relief.  I have noticed some improvement, but as they say, Rome wasn't built in a day. I too, tend to withdraw and hibernate when down in my cups, even though I know it is the last thing I should do.

I am glad in your case that you have family and friends close by should you need to reach out for a hand to offer you support. I am working without these things for the most part with the exception of the counselor I see once a week. Lately I have been attempting to become involved with a few other groups/organizations that have been suggested. I have turned a corner in that I realize that if I don't start learning to live and ask for help when I need it, then I am only getting ready to die.

Please know that there are many of us fighting this depression thing along with dual and triple diagnoses (is that a word?) and I for one want you to feel better about your life and your situation.  Take care of yourself and keep us posted.

Rex