This Is My Last Post...By:Maya

[hattershateme225]

 
Dear Reader,


   Hello I just want to inform everyone this is my last post. Because at first I thought this was a cool place to be. A place to connect with people going through the same thing as me but I am seeing that is full of alot of drama. That is not me and I am not going to be posting nothing anymore not on here atleast never! Because serveral people on here have offended me and came in my formal that I posted up and it's like they took over and got off the subject. I think that is the rule on here for people to not take over other people formal or get off the subject. I really think that there should be a rule that tells people if you don't like what they wrote don't comment and if they choose to still be an butthead then ban them all the way off here. I just wanted to inform everyone that you all just lost me because of some mean comments towards my post and towards how I abbreviate my words and how my grammer is.

I thought to know someone grammer you have to hear them talk...lol not just assume because they shorten they words that they are unintelligent that is not the case at all. It is just called shortern words that is all but anyways you all have a bless life!



  Sincerely,
    Maya

[phildinftlaudy]

Adios.

[hattershateme225]

Oh wow did u come in to be a smartellic or u saying that in a nice way? Because if you being rude u can go bark up someone else tree truck TY!

[CaptCarl]

Maya-

Sorry to see you go, especially having only been here a short time. If you had chosen to stick it out, you would find a group of friends, people who will help you. There are many wonderful and not-so-wonderful people here. The thing is that it take awhile to sort them out to your liking.

As far as being criticized about your grammar, again, I'm sorry that your feelings got hurt over it. However, you may wish to consider the message that these criticisms carry: That you would be well served to learn better communication skills. I say this not to be rude, but in an effort to hopefully make you realize that with HIV, you will need to be able to communicate with your doctor or health care team. This is not the time for unclear communication. It could even be something as simple as using spellcheck every time you post something. To be honest, I have a hard time reading your postings. It can be difficult for me to understand what your point is, as well as what it is you may need from us. And I likely am not the only one. If you cannot clearly communicate what you want, you won't get the results you are looking for

The forums are like any other place in the world because people are the same. They will either like or dislike you, either be respectful or not. And, unfortunately, you have to learn to deal with them.


I wish you well Maya...

CaptCarl

[skeebo1969]

Maya,

Before you leave please allow me to share Skeebo's Savory Pea Soup Recipe with you....

8 smoked sausages cut lengthwise into halves
1 package dried split peas, rinsed
3 medium carrots, sliced
2 ribs of celery, sliced
1 medium onion, chopped
3/4 teaspoon dried mancram leaves
1 bay leaf
2 cans (14 1/2 ounces each) reduced sodium chicken broth

Heat small skillet over medium heat.  Add sausage cook 5-8 minutes or until browned.  Drain well.  Combine sausage and remaining ingredients in slow cooker.  Cover and cook on low for 4-5 hours or until the peas are tender.  Remove and discard bay leaf.

Enjoy this, it's good...and never, ever forget where ya got it from.

[Miss Philicia]

but I am seeing that is full of alot of drama.

About as drama-filled as this thread of yours saying "BYE!" yet over an hour later you're still hovering on line.

[WillyWump]

Yeah, I'm kinda with Capt Carl on this one. Your posts are extremely difficult to understand, and it takes much work to try to figure out what you are saying, more work than I really want to expend.

I'm not trying to be hateful, but perhaps this is why there is such frustration among people with your posts. It is what it is. I'm not sure what the answer is, of course spell check would help, but also maybe stop abbreviating, and maybe break up your paragraphs.

There really is alot to get from this sight, hate to see you go.

-Will

ps- at least you got a nice parting gift from Skeebo.

[hattershateme225]

I can't help I do paragraph do you all want it like this.

So you all can be happy.

Now can you read it?

I am not posting over here I am frustrated and that is going to go against my health!\

And for the philicia chick don't come talking about I am about drama.

Because if I was you would not like it because I would shut you down Thank You!!!

[Solo_LTSurvivor]

There are many wonderful and not-so-wonderful people here.

As far as being criticized about your grammar... you may wish to consider the message that these criticisms carry: That you would be well served to learn better communication skills. It could even be something as simple as using spellcheck every time you post something. To be honest, I have a hard time reading your postings. It can be difficult for me to understand what your point is, as well as what it is you may need from us. And I likely am not the only one. If you cannot clearly communicate what you want, you won't get the results you are looking for

The forums are like any other place in the world because people are the same. They will either like or dislike you, either be respectful or not. And, unfortunately, you have to learn to deal with them.

CaptCarl

Maya,

I have to agree with everything Carl said.  I know I held out as long as I possibly could before posting regarding that other thread you originated, mainly because I could not read your post that was written in all caps.  And as much as you might not want to hear this: abbreviations are best left for Twitter, texting, and the like; they have no place in every day conversation.  Not everyone is up on shorthand and what might be "people" (PPL) to you might be "Purple" to (some of) the rest of us.  And, as Carl stated, being able to communicate efficiently is tantamount in order to be understood so that there is no margin for error by misunderstanding the point you were trying to make/question you were trying to ask, etc. etc.

I know, personally, that I have a hard time when I see misspellings. One that really grates on my nerve like fingernails on a chalkboard is when I see "Manhatten."  (But) I don't feel it is my duty to point out hey, you spelled that word wrong... as I don't know what someone's educational background is nor do I know their specific circumstances in order to determine whether something prevented them from receiving a decent education.

Just remember there are some great people here and that it can be just like one big family, sometimes dysfunctional - and sometimes it might seem as if everyone might not be on your side.  That's the way life is.  Everything is not always rose colored glasses and you have to suffer the good along with the bad.  It all balances out in the end. And it is because of being exposed to these opposing situations, we become better people.  We might not see it at the time, but when we look back -- we see that we learn something from each and every thing that happens to us.  And if you're going to continue to thrive living poz, you better learn how to grow a thick skin -- although I have a feeling you already know that people speak their mind regardless and this isn't the first time someone has said something to set you off.  You handled it accordingly.  Just do the same here and stop playing the victim.  No one is out to get you.  How could we even have time to single you out when we're all in the same boat and have other things to worry about?

At any rate, you do what you feel is right for you.

[wolfter]

I too hope you'll reconsider.  At first, I  felt some of things you've mentioned and also thought about quitting this forum.  Then I gave myself a "self imposed timeout" and processed the situation internally.  I came to the realization that being the new guy, I had to be the one to adjust to the group not the other way around.  I have since made many great friends and I also have a few on mental ignore.  

Just like the train ride of life, it's all about the way you choose to handle the obstacles.  And this train is pink with disco lights and full of divas with strong opinions.  For as strong as our individual opinions tend to be, there'll always be at least one who disagrees and won't hesitate to voice it.  

Good luck either way!
Greg

I always use spell check and I don't know why it didn't like the word "there'll"  It might not be a word, but I'm using it.

[Miss Philicia]

And for the philicia chick don't come talking about I am about drama.

Because if I was you would not like it because I would shut you down

... like I said: DRAMA

[MiniPozToyota]

laters, I find this site to be pretty good with a lot of caring people on here, has helped me out a whole bunch thanks

[DanMo]

What I don't understand is that instead of helping out someone who was obviously hurting/confused/needing support, people started criticising her grammar/writing skills without even trying to address her concerns.

If you did feel the need to provide some constructive criticism, wouldn't it have been better to PM instead of publicly insulting the OP?

[mecch]

I can't help I do paragraph do you all want it like this.

So you all can be happy.

Now can you read it?

I am not posting over here I am frustrated and that is going to go against my health!\

And for the philicia chick don't come talking about I am about drama.

Because if I was you would not like it because I would shut you down Thank You!!!

Yep, I think this is the solution.  If it is not too much trouble just put in a lot of white space and short sentences.  We can then understand you.

Why don't you stick around and share your thoughts now that we can understand.

[drewm]

Maya...

This place is what it is. After my baptism by fire a couple of months ago, I have discovered some pretty decent people here. There is a lot of compassion, excellent advice and people who care sandwiched in between those who have more attitude than an extra on a Lady GaGa video.

I would suggest you stick around because at some point in time, you will need more than you have been able to take, so far, from this forum.

[buginme2]

What I don't understand is that instead of helping out someone who was obviously hurting/confused/needing support, people started criticising her grammar/writing skills without even trying to address her concerns.

If you did feel the need to provide some constructive criticism, wouldn't it have been better to PM instead of publicly insulting the OP?

I think its just that the format of his/her posts distract from the message.  Its a bit of one very long run on sentence.  Unfortionately it distracts people from the message.  I don't think it is unfair in pointing that out.  I also do not think it is unfair to point out when someone says something wrong or out of line.  I have said some really stupid things in these forums and people were very quick to call me out on them.  Instead of just telling other people they are drama, take it as a moment to learn.  You do have to have a bit of thick skin, but you also need thick skin to deal with HIV. 

[next2u]

hello maya,

i don't have a problem reading what you've posted. sucks that you are leaving. i hope you come back some day. yeah, some people here can be a bit abrasive at times but there are a lot of good folks here too ~

btw, my niece and most of the younger people i know abbreviate like crazy. i think in those situations it has something to do with texting limitations and identity expression. it took a second for me to wrap my head around it but i did. anyhow, take care.

best,
d (another person with fucked grammar ~)

[skeebo1969]

  I don't think it is unfair in pointing that out. 

I strongly disagree because you never know the disadvantages another person's life may have been filled with. 

She came in angry over something someone said to her and she shared it.  Pointing out her flaws in grammar and use of cap lock only infuriated her further, leading to this disaster.  Did anyone even consider that when she wrote her post  she did the best she could?   Also, regarding the cap lock issue, she didn't even have a clue it was considered rude and expressed this. 

Disagreeing with her actions towards the person asking her "stupid questions" is one thing, pointing out something that could be a shortcoming of hers is just being nasty.  I hope the people who have done this in this thread feel better about themselves because it was pretty disgusting to watch from the sidelines. 

[littleprince]

I hope that when the day comes for it to be my last post on this earth..... I get to come back and have two more goes at it too.

[mecch]

  Did anyone even consider that when she wrote her post  she did the best she could?   Also, regarding the cap lock issue, she didn't even have a clue it was considered rude and expressed this. 

Disagreeing with her actions towards the person asking her "stupid questions" is one thing, pointing out something that could be a shortcoming of hers is just being nasty.  I hope the people who have done this in this thread feel better about themselves because it was pretty disgusting to watch from the sidelines. 

I considered that. A lighter touch was indeed called for.  Also, as happens often with asynchronous forum communication, too many cooks spoil the broth. 

When the OP realised what was being asked, the posts became clear.

[woodshere]

As a point of reference, none of this grammar discussion was happening until this post:

FIRST OF ALL TO KILLFOILE I WAS NOT JUDGIN NOONE I WAS ASKING A QUESTION BASIC ON WHAT SOMEONE THAT HAD ASK ME AND THERE IS SOME DUMB QUESTION DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK OK OR WHAT U ASSUME I AM DOING THE QUESTION DUDE ASK ME IS CAN U GET THE VIRUS THROUGH SITTING IN THE SAME SIT OF THE PERSON AFFECTED WITH THE VIRUS? AND I ASK HIM FOR HIM TO WORK AS A DOCTOR HE SHOULD KNOW ALL THIS HE MUST NOT BE A TO BRIGHT MAN THAT WHAT I TOLD HIM AND MAYBE THAT FEILD AIN'T FOR HIM SO UNLESS U KNOW THE WHOLE STORY DNT ASSUME I MYSELF IS JUDGING ANYONE THAT IS NOT ME AND NEVER WILL BE  I THINK THAT WAS THE DUMBEST QUESTION EVER FORREAL AND JUST LIKE THEY LEARN ABOUT PORN OR HACKING INTO COMPUTERS THEY CAN LEARN ABOUT THE SITUATION(HIV). AND TO BOCKER DEAR I WAS WELL EDUCATED ON IT CUZ I READ ALOT ON THINGS EVEN IF THEY SEEM SCAREY OR IS NOT THE SUBJECT THE PERSON WANT TO TALK ABOUT(LIKE A GROUP OF FRIENDS) AND A SMART THING I WOULD DO IF I HAD ANY QUESTION I WOULD THINK ABOUT IT AND IF I THOUGHT TO MYSELF I WOULD NOT WANT NOBODY TO ASK ME THAT QUESTION BECAUSE IT WOULD OFFEND ME I WOULD THINK OF THE PERSON FEELINGS AND KEEP IT TO MYSELF REAL TALK YOU GOT TO BE CAREFULLY ABOUT SOME OF THE QUESTION YOU ASK BECAUSE U CAN OFFEND SOMEONE SO BAD THAT THEY HURT YOU REAL TALK AND IT MIGHT NOT BE THAT SERIOUS BT TO BE TRUTHFULLY IN THESE LAST TIMES YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT  APERSON IS THNKIN AND WAT A PERSON WILL DO. AND ANOTHER THING TO KILLFOILE  I DID NOT CALL HIM RETARDED AT ALL SO PLEASE DO NOT PUT WORDS IN MY MOUTH I DON'T APPRECIATE THAT TY AND FOR THE REST PLEASE DON'T ASSUME I AM JUDGING I AM JUST SAYING AND I HAVE A RIGHT TO SPEAK WHATEVER I WANT TO SAY IT AIN'T LIKE I SAID ANYTHING WRONG AND FOR THE PERSON THAT SAID IF I CAN'T ACCEPT THIS AND REALIZE PPL ASK QUESTIONS THEN I WON'T BE ABLE TO DEAL WITH THIS VIRUS HOW ARE U TO SAY THAT BS REAL TALK WHEN I HAVE BEEN GOING THROUGH THIS FOR 6YRS AND I HAVE ACCEPT IT DEAR BT I DON'T HAVE TO HAVE THEM ASK ME CRAZY QUESTION WHEN I KNOW THEY ARE BEING FUNNY ABOUT IT AND NO THESE PPL ARE NOT INQUISITIVE ABOUT IT TRUST ME I KNOW THEM DEAR U DON'T SO PLEASE STOP IT NOW CUZ IT MAKES NO SENSE IT IS JUST TO MUCH EDUCATION ON IT AND GOD GAVE THEM A BRIAN AND ALL THAT SO WHY DON'T THEY PUT IT TO GOOD USE AND LEARN SOMETHING THAT CAN HELP ME TO MAKE SMART CHOICES IN LIFE AND WITH THAT THINK WHAT YOU WANT TO

After which a couple of posters pointed out the difficulty in reading a post that is in all caps.  I wonder if the OP had written the post in a more readable manner if this discussion would have happened.  Or more importantly would we be having this discussion if the OP accepted the fact that part of a public forum includes both those who agree and disagree rather than respond with the above rant.  I have a bigger problem with the fact the OP became angry when someone disagreed than the writing skills.

[leatherman]

When the OP realised what was being asked, the posts became clear.

and that was most appreciated.

I mean I was getting out of breath just trying to read through those posts since there were hardly any breaks. Plus now that I'm approaching 50 and have to using reading glasses, I'm finally understanding all the gripes Ann has had with long paragraphs (of which I have been guilty and called out for) - not to mention having to squint to read through a sea of capital letters, or for that matter, all lowercase letters either.

when hatter took offense at people complaining about not being able to read her posts, I posted some links to explain why punctuation is needed and why all caps have been considered rude "Internet Yelling" for the last 25 years or more. I wasn't trying to be nasty at all. I was trying to explain why her posts, because they weren't following regular grammar rules, were just about impossible for some of us to read. Obviously, the message about her illegible postings was understood because she then began to post much, much easier to read posts.

And then when the problem was resolved, then she decided to give up on us - which is something I still don't understand. Hopefully, Hatter will check in later and resume chatting with the group.

[Miss Philicia]

I have a bigger problem with the fact the OP became angry when someone disagreed than the writing skills.

zactly

[mecch]

Also here we are having a "meta" discussion in the OP's own thread.

failures all around

[Nextdoor_guy]

"I just wanted to inform everyone that you all just lost me because of some mean comments towards my post and towards how I abbreviate my words and how my grammer is."

We lost Maya!!!!!
Can this forum still go on without her?

[Joe K]

After reading all of your posts, I really don't understand what it is that you expect from us.  Your first post was one huge run-on sentence and was very difficult for many posters to read. A few comments were made, mine included and then you responded with a highly negative reply and to illustrate your anger, you choose to write it all in CAPS, again as a run-on sentence, lacking any punctuation or sentence structure. Then, when some posters suggested that your writing style was hindering our understanding of your comments, you lashed out at those who were only trying to help.

In regards to the content of your post, by your own words you cast people who ask questions as not too bright, stupid or retarded and then you wonder why some of us take offense to your post. I can understand the frustration when people ask incredibly insensitive questions, but denigrating them as a person, over a single utterance says far more about you than them. You have so much anger within you, as evidenced by your lashing out at virtually everyone who posts in your threads and that anger has now prompted you to leave the forums and I, for one, am sad to see you go.

When folks offered suggestions on how to structure your posts, it was not meant to criticize you, as a person, rather it was a request on our part, that your posts were more readable. Communication only works when both parties can comprehend what is being discussed. And when you adjusted your writing style, your meaning became much clearer and posters could respond. That was the primary reason for any grammar suggestions, not as criticism, but as a means of clarifying your intent.

Maya, I empathize with how you can feel at times. Living with HIV is damn hard work, but please do not allow it to drain your feelings of self worth. There are so many here, who share your pain and understand the challenges of living with HIV. We know how cruel and insensitive people can be to pozzies, however, one of the only ways to truly thrive with HIV, is to never let the hatred alter who and what you are.

I know you are angry, I just don't know what you are angry about. You are far too strong of a woman to be intimidated by much of anything, so I cannot accept that you are leaving solely because of criticism regarding your grammar and confrontational style. Something brought you here, you are looking for something and if you give it a chance, maybe you can find what you need here.

I'm the first to admit that sometimes posts can be totally misunderstood and that feelings can become quickly hurt, however I can assure you that rarely is it done intentionally. We have members from every part of the world, with different cultures and ways of expression and sometimes language does present a barrier to clear communication. Yet, even with language problems, we still seem to be able to discuss and support each other and that is the true power of these forums. I have known most of these folks for years and they are beyond belief in their ability to be compassionate and supportive.

I know there is something we have, that you would like to share and I welcome you to join our family. If you are willing to start again, then so am I and I welcome you to the forums. Please consider staying, it will be one of the most positive things you can ever do... for you.

[bmancanfly]

Hattershateme225,

Hopefully you'll just take a time out and come back when you're ready.

There will be plenty of people here willing to listen when you do.

Peace

[Rev. Moon]

This is one weird swan song.  More druhhhmahhhh than one could find at some cheap stage.

I will echo what Phil from FTL said: sayonara!

[skeebo1969]

   I gave her the same recipe I gave in a letter of resignation years ago to a former employer.  She should at least feel blessed if not full......

[buginme2]

  Your screen name "hattershateme"

I assume you meant "HatersHateMe" as in:  people who are hateful hate you.  Hate is spelled with one "t" otherwise
you are saying "hattershateme" such as:  people who make hats hate you such as "the Mad Hatter"



A scholar and poet you may be, a words smith you are not.

[Rev. Moon]

The coolest mad hatta' was Johnny Depp.  I used to have him as my avvy pictar a while ago.

Tom, I want that recipe.

[buginme2]

The coolest mad hatta' was Johnny Depp.  I used to have him as my avvy pictar a while ago.

Johnny Depp is briliant

[David Evans]

It's getting a tad venomous. Tread lightly folks.

David
Moderator

[anniebc]

The coolest mad hatta' was Johnny Depp.  I used to have him as my avvy pictar a while ago.

 

I agree Johnny was the best.

Also I just don't get these "I'm never posting again"  threads, if you don't like the forum, the responces you get or just plain can't stand the folks here, just leave, don't post..it so simple, but for some that seems impossible, they have to have the whole drama scene happening before they finally go.

The swan song has been sung so many times I tired of listening to it....for God sake just give a us a poem, leave it at that, and then go if you don't want the any help from the guys here.

Jan

Edited to add.. Sorry David, we abviously posted at the same time, although I don't see anything venomous in my post.
Aroha
Jan

[Andy Velez]

Maya, if there is any benefit at this point to you or to anyone else in this thread, the value is escaping me.

You've made your dissatifaction very clear, but you're still free to change your mind and continue participating if you want to in the Forums.

But for now I am locking this thread as I don't see it is going anywhere that is helpful to anyone.