Positive since September 2023

[Pizza4life]

I’ve been having a lot of emotional days. And I’ve been disconnecting from conversations and moments. It’s not in a suicidal way, more of a reminiscing way. I keep wondering how it could happen to me. I’ve never had an std before. My first std, HIV! And I get tested monthly even if I’m celibate. One year I was celibate and I still got tested because I’m on top of my health.

It’s September 2023. I’m in NYC. I am an Asian transwoman, 37. I was dating a guy I met on Grindr. He was a video editor. I don’t think he knew he was positive. I started having symptoms immediately the following week because I’m a bottom. The diarrhea was a red flag, I thought it was a parasite. I went to my doctor and they mistakenly prescribed me medication for parasites. One week after that the fever and headaches began. I finally went to the ER. I asked them to test for STDs. I’ll never forget September 21 11am. Mount Sinai called me to tell me I tested positive. I screamed No!!!!!!! They couldn’t fit me into their schedule for treatment so I grabbed my bag and went to Callen Lorde.

At Callen Lorde they did a rapid test and I was negative. I asked for the longer test and it was positive. I took my first biktarvy. I let the news burn my soul and guts for one whole day. It hurt so deep. I told my family and friends the next day, I needed them to know. I was scared. I cried alot. Ive been living amongst heterosexuals too long i forgot HIV existed and i thought my life was over.

My viral load 10,000. My CD4 192.

I flew home to be with family. 5 days on Biktarvy, my diarrhea finally stopped. I’m really into my body and health. I watch my poop everyday. I’m not from USA, Im from Asia. We pay attention to these things. After reading this forum I learned HIV likes to attack the gut. I understand it, it needs to destroy our microbial to thrive.

It’s now October 2023. Almost one month since my diagnosis. I feel empowered. I’ve educated myself about the virus. Every day I watch 1-3 hours to learn about the virus, following any news about a cure, and reading so many things.

October 6: I went to Mount Sinai infectious diseases to see what they could offer. I’d like to join any clinical trials for a cure or vaccine but they told me they don’t do research. They took my blood.

My viral load is below 1000. CD4 451

I’m returning back to Callen Lorde for continued treatment. My provider is expecting I’ll be undetectable very soon because I stopped it early. Let’s change the stigma and empower people.

As someone newly diagnosed in NYC, I’m looking for any resources anyone could recommend. I’ve joined HASA already but it seems finding an apartment is quite challenging. I’m unemployed and confused how I can find work if I need Medicaid to get my medication paid for. I was a sugar baby previously and stupid decided to date a normal guy because he was hot. Well there goes my sugar baby career. 😩😂

[Jim Allen]

Sorry to hear about the diagnosis. Glad you have access to treatment and have started treatment.

Don't overdo it on the reading stuff, take it easy.

[leatherman]

I’m unemployed and confused how I can find work if I need Medicaid to get my medication paid for.

You should talk to the people at Callen Lorde about this issue. Many agencies/providers have representatives that can help with this kind of issue. Often these representatives are liaisons with the Ryan White program which helps people living with HIV have access to medications and medical visits.

Medicaid does allow people to earn some money and still receive medical assistant. The dollar amount varies by state  (unfortunately the amount is often quite limited), so that's why it's best to speak to someone locally about this issue. Of course there's also the option to get employment that earns more, but then you would need to look at getting insurance to cover you medical expenses. The Ryan White program can also help when you're employed to cover the cost of insurance and to fill in gaps that insurance doesn't cover. Also most drug manufacturers have drug costs assistance programs that can help .


If you're looking for more information about HIV, medications, etc. there's a lot of information at POZ.com. If you check out the menu at the top under HIV/AIDS Basics.  https://www.poz.com/basics/hiv-basics

[Tonny2]

           ojo.         Welvome to the forum!…I as Jim,recomend you to go easy about reading about hiv cure, all you are lucky to take a pill a day to keep making plans for the future, don’t waste time reading about a cure, your doctor will is time to stop taling that and ne pill a day which, yo me, its almost a cure…best of luck and please keep us posted…there is life after an hiv diagnosis you just nedd to learn to live with hiv…hugs

[numbersguy82]

Hello and welcome to the forums. I do hope that you’re staying upbeat and focusing on the good things instead of dwelling on the negative. An HIV diagnosis isn’t the end of your life nor your career.

If you find that you’d like an outlet with like minded people, there is biweekly support every other Friday. Once you’ve posted 3 times you will unlock your ability to private message. If you’re interested please PM myself or @Leatherman with your email address and we will ensure that you receive the Google meet link.

Friday October 27th will be the next one. Hang in there ❤️

[Pizza4life]

Hello and welcome to the forums. I do hope that you’re staying upbeat and focusing on the good things instead of dwelling on the negative. An HIV diagnosis isn’t the end of your life nor your career.

If you find that you’d like an outlet with like minded people, there is biweekly support every other Friday. Once you’ve posted 3 times you will unlock your ability to private message. If you’re interested please PM myself or @Leatherman with your email address and we will ensure that you receive the Google meet link.

Friday October 27th will be the next one. Hang in there ❤️

Thank you!

[leatherman]

And I get tested monthly even if I’m celibate. One year I was celibate and I still got tested because I’m on top of my health.

I happened to reread your post and wanted to mention a few things about this.

That sure was an overkill on testing...especially since testing doesn't stop a person from getting infected. All it can do is tell you whether you've already been infected or not. The same for other STI testing too. Getting tested when you've been celibate for an extended period, and not sharing injection needles, really isn't being on top of your health. It's really a waste of time (both yours and the clinic that did the test), money (yours or your insurance company), and resources (the clinic that did the test) for an already known result.

I know this doesn't apply in your case any longer but a lot of people read through these posts and I just wanted to point out that using prevention (condoms, PrEP) is better than testing so frequently.