POZ Community Forums
Off Topic Forums => Off Topic Forum => Topic started by: bear60 on June 30, 2007, 12:08:31 pm
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Frankly I dont find this a difficult topic to discuss anymore. I am going to be cremated but I havent chosen what to do with my ashes. At one time I thought that it would be "cool" to have someone mix them into a glaze and put the glaze on some pottery and fire it. Now, with Kurt, I think I want my ashes and his together.
None the less, here is one amusing solution:
(http://i178.photobucket.com/albums/w278/bear169/TombStone.jpg)
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Bear, my resting place and details with the funeral home have been made for years and I already have a grave and my name on the headstone. I'm being buried beside my nephew and on the other side of the head stone, lays my father and mother. We kinda like keeping it in the family so to speak. I don't find this hard to talk about, I'm just not in a rush to join them, if you know what I mean.
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I've already decided on cremation. The ashes are going into the Gulf of Mexico. Everything has been discussed with ED, and my remaining family members. Cremation will go through the Neptune society.
http://www.neptunesociety.com/faq.asp#1
Ray
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No, I don't find it hard to talk about at all Joel. I just haven't done anything about it, though of course I should have AGES ago considering my past medical history. My mother has even petered me to place either her name or my brother's on my checking account in case something happened, and do a Power of Attorney and all that other stuff. I've gathered up the information several times and then simply procrastinated.
My parents are getting cremated and I will to. Other than that I don't know.
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Yes that's a good question. I have absolutely NO clue, I don't even know if I want to be buried, cremated, or eaten, and where, in France, in the US, in the ocean, no clue.. Any hints on what helps you make a final (no pun intended) decision is welcome. Thanks for starting this thread, bear!
Milker.
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Insert Quote
Yes that's a good question. I have absolutely NO clue, I don't even know if I want to be buried, cremated, or eaten, and where, in France, in the US, in the ocean, no clue.. Any hints on what helps you make a final (no pun intended) decision is welcome. Thanks for starting this thread, bear!
from Milker
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Gosh no, I have no help in that choice. BUT.......as its fairly clear....family tradition usually wins out. I know that my parents are not to be buried....their ashes will be mingled with others in a garden at their church. My Dads ashes are already there. His name added to a plaque. I think its whatever makes you happy. I do think I feel a sense of relief after having made the decision and paid for the cremation.
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I plan to follow in my college friend's footstep - he said that after he died, he wished to be cremated and have his ashes placed in the pepper shaker of everyone he has ever told to eat him. and thus the prophecy would be fulfilled.
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I don't really care what happens to my body after I die. Burial and all those rituals always seem to be to be for the living. So, I will let those who survive me take care of it in any way suitable, whether it's grinding me up and selling me as chicken mcnuggets or naming a spacecraft after me.
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I agree with dtwpuck. I've lost some people very close to me, but I've never been to a cemetery in my life post funeral. I like to remember them as they were in life, and I guess, would like the same.
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whether it's grinding me up and selling me as chicken mcnuggets or naming a spacecraft after me.
If they ground me up, it would be chicken McGristle !
Ray
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i used to want to be cremated but apparently its not particularly environmentally friendly, so now im gonna have a woodland burial. my friend buried her nephew in this way and its a really beautiful idea - you are buried in all natural fibres in a coffin with no metal or plastic. they plant a sapling on top of you and so as you decompose you feed the tree. there arent any memorials or plaques or anything just a load of trees growing. there are whole forests of these trees... but i bet i will be the only hiv tree!!
my mother is donating her body to a research hospital, so i might do that as well first - not that i like the idea of my body being messed about with by medical students but im sure hiv research would benefit in some way...
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my mother is donating her body to a research hospital, so i might do that as well first - not that i like the idea of my body being messed about with by medical students but im sure hiv research would benefit in some way...
The thought of donating my body to research has crossed my mind before on more than one occasion. Haven't thought about it at least 15 years.
Ray
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I have chosen to be cremated and my ashes dumped in the fountain at the Plaza Cibeles (Madrid). I lived there for a couple of years and late one night, went out with friends and somehow, the fountain got filled with detergent and made all those bubbles.
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7 Sacred Pools in Maui. I lived in the islands a few years too and have never made it to the pools. My friends got us sidetracked and we ended up in a botanical garden and the pools were closed by the time we got there.
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There is a an old cemetary across the street from my house. It is on the National Registry of Pioneer Cemetary. Getting the plot may prove dificult buy it is do able. The remaining loved ones leave plastic flowers and come by once a year to cut the grass and trim any trees.
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If I live to see my 70th birthday, my life insurance will expire (on that day) so, I'm not sure what the authorities will do with my remains. Have the best day
Michael
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I don't really care what happens to my body after I die. Burial and all those rituals always seem to be to be for the living. So, I will let those who survive me take care of it in any way suitable, whether it's grinding me up and selling me as chicken mcnuggets or naming a spacecraft after me.
I agree, I couldn't care less.. this may be why I haven't made a decision.. maybe i should talk to my family and see what THEY want! One thing I know is that I want to have a plan so I can prepay for it, so that my family doesn't have the burden of the cost when shit happens.
Milker.
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Direct cremation, no embalming, no service--$649.
http://www.peoplesmemorial.org/plans.cfmv - I joined years ago.
They can scatter my ashes at sea or in the forest...I really have no preference.
Just don't leave me hanging out in someone's sock drawer for a decade (which happened to a friend of mine...)
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As a militant atheist Matty the Damned is supremely indifferent about the fate of his bones. Apparently he has a plot in the ancestral graveyard and is to be interred there when he goes tits up.
His only stipulation is that his grave be unmarked.
MtD
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Die before me Matty and I'm going to place a cross on your grave. ;)
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My thoughts are to be cremated and ashes (and a piece of charred plastic) can be buried in the nearby hills or scattered in the stream behind the house. There are many special places I could think of.......but any spot in the earth is fine. Whatever is easiest on my partner.
Coincidentally, yesterday the thought occurred to me to get the details worked out on paper and the processing prepaid as I too have procrastinated on this bit of responsibility. I log on this morning and read this post! Yikes.
xxx,
Mike
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I have few though about it, but yes... cremation sounds nice.
In fact the other day i was thinking that my ashes should be thrown in the air on the Guayas river in my native city and on Moscow river where i had a great time of my life that gave me the strenght to face this.
I want them to be thrown in the air on the river because i like this two earth elements, air and water, plus i really loved the landscapes of both rivers.. they have been always peaceful to me.
I haven't made arrangements, but i will tell my family when the time comes.
Cheers,
Juan Carlos
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The hell with it...I've decided I'm staying...
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Hal, you can find Matty and I sitting at the bar during Happy Hour.
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I have few though about it, but yes... cremation sounds nice.
Exquisite ! :D
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I really feel that when you go, you go and nothing lingers except for memories in those that loved you. I like the idea of the woodland burial. There is absolutely no sense in killing trees or destroying the earth to mine for metals for a coffin. I think that the greatest thing is to return to the earth as organic matter, with the least impact on our already taxed planet. Becoming fertilizer for a tree would be wonderful. I have heard that it takes more energy to burn a body than what the output is. Oh well, I still want to live for a while before making any arrangements.
CA
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Family plot in the middle of Kansas somewhere... 100 miles from any town or paved highway... The family is all there... I guess thats where I go... I have never given this any thought... I think I would rather be barried in my jeep with the "tunes, turned up as loud as I want"
Eric
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I've always thought that I would be cremated. I wanted to have the ashes mixed with a few pounds of wildflower seeds and spread somwhere that wouldn't be developed into Condos or a shopping mall. After reading this post in regards to the woodland burial thing, I like that option even better. There is a part of me though, that agrees with Eric: Put my ass in the drivers seat of my '57 DeSoto, and send me on a road trip into eternity.
Capt.Carl
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His only stipulation is that his grave be unmarked.
MtD
Very Maria Callas...
(well, not quite. She has a black plaque with M.C. written on it, at the Pere Lachaise cemetary in Paris. Still very anonymous for such a celebrity).
Pat
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I want to be buried in my hometown in my family's cemetary plot. I want a traditional funeral, so I can get one last Cadillac ride, before they put me in the ground. Not in a hurry, though.
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whenever I think of a final resting place for my ashes I always think of "the big lebowski". Make sure the wind is at your back. 15 or 16 Fairway at St. Andrews. Why? Its the first place I ever cried while playing golf, because of the pure beauty and history.Aye,laddie.
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I guess I will be planted in the family plot purchased by my mom when I was a kid. She made sure there would always be room for her four sons, so we would be near her. I was never brave enough to asked about my three sisters. The good part of this is that its way down in the Bootheel of Missouri and not likely to be disturbed by any highway coming through or anyone wanting to develop condos on the site.
As for the headstone, maybe something like ..."Who the hell asked me to be on "Trading Spaces"...This Space For Rent ..."And You Think Your Having A Bad Day".....Get Off My Chest This Thing Is Six Foot Long ...Post No Bills ...No Solicitors Please....Back In Five Minutes....Stop Digging I Died Broke....You Win You Out Lived Me...Im Not Here Look Behind You....Still Waiting For My Social Security Check....Why Arent You At Work ?....Forget It I Still Dont Like You..I Still Expect You To Repay Me...I Am Hiding Out From The IRS....Step Back Lady I Can See Up Your Dress And It Aint Pretty....
Well you get the idea...and from what I have just written I have a sneaky feeling I might be in a very warm place and it wont be in anybody's heart.
Pilot....who really has no plans to go anywhere without putting up a fight and kicking and screaming all the way ...same thing when my parents told me to move out son your thirty years old and still in high school.
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I am going to be creamated and my ashes formed into a coral reef to be dropped off the florida coast to form what is called a "Living Reef" with memorial plaques to those entombed there.
That way, anyone who wants to come visit my grave gets to go on vacation and has to go snorkeling and scuba diving!
I hate the idea of people shuffling by a headstone in a field full of dead people. Just seems so black and wrong, and thats not who I am and not how I live my life.
Also, on my memorial plaque, my epitaph shall read...... Andrew C_____ 1972-20?? "I KNEW this would happen!"
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I'm donating to Science through Science Care
http://www.sciencecare.com/
They pick up the tab on the cremation after they get done with "it".
Jean-Yves
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Cremation sounds nice. My Dad was cremated and some of his ashes were tossed in the lake because he loved to fish..I have the rest of them. I can't seem to part with him. Since his birthday is coming up this weekend, I was thinking to scatter just a lil more in the lake. As for myself, I don't know where I would like to be spread even though the trade of being fertilizer for a tree does sound appealing..Too bad someone can't put me in a blunt and smoke me, so that I would always be with them. I was gonna do that with some of my Dad's ashes but my doctor was against it. Hey, don't look at me like that! It is not morbid and so what if the idea came from watching the movie, How High.... :D
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Queenie,
I don't think that it's morbid. Instead of smoking him, maybe you could mix some of the ashes with coffee beans and wake up every day with a visit from dad. ;) I keep threatening my mother with this, but she seems unaffected..... I also thought about having my ashes mixed with mortar and cast into a statue of the Buddha.
Yours in grit, Capt.Carl
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Creamation is for me and my ashes are to be scattered at some of the most important places in my life.
-Booth 4 of Theater XXX adult Bookstore
- The reststop on I-65 south
- The dance floor of The Bar in Lexington KY
- Booth 14 & 19 of Theater XXX adult bookstore
- The woody area of Cherokee Park in Louisville and Piedmont Park in Atlanta
-Booth 27, 28 & 34 of Theater XXX adult bookstore
- Ahh, hell just put a little bit of me in all 42 booths at the Theater XXX, as I am sure I have visited all of them at one time or another throughout the years
Woods
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My cremation/memorial service has been paid for for a few years. I don't know yet what's going to happen with my ashes. On my first husband's grave, his mother is buried in an urn on top of him. Maybe I could join in and have a threesome.
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I've decided upon creation and even gone so far as to select the container for the ashes from my collection of vintage appliances - an Acme Juicerator from the '60s. Intended to juice even root vegetables, it sounds like a jet taking off. On the stainless steel bowl, I'll have the epitaph "Should you think of me now and then, flick the switch and give me a spin." ;D
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an Acme Juicerator from the '60s. Intended to juice even root vegetables, it sounds like a jet taking off. On the stainless steel bowl, I'll have the epitaph "Should you think of me now and then, flick the switch and give me a spin." ;D
:D :D :D
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I thought about a tombstone for awhile... First I thought Salami with extra cheese but...
I had a realization there was another kind of a tombstone and...
I wanted it to say, "It wasn't easy being me, I did it well." Have the best day
Michael
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My cremated ashes are to be distributed along the Na Pali coast on the island of Kauai, in Hawaii.
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I like my ashes thrown into the North Sea. As I love to travel around and see places, that's just the right exit for me. I read somewhere that it takes about 1,000 years for the water to follow the gulf stream, dive into the cold deep artic sea, climb up again, following the currents which carry it across the oceans from coast to coast, from continent to continent, finally returning to the inital spot. Then on for the next round in the deep blue . Thank gawt I don't have any problems with sea sickness.
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To the Moon Alice
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Oh my whoopsie!.......
I came here about a half an hour or so ago, and placed a thread about my thoughts on death preparations in "Living".....Y'all spose they'll splice it into this thread?
It really was a somber thread concerning my wishes, but I don't have the market cornered on serious issues.
I intended for my family/friends here to know what will ultimately happen to me after I am gone.
I figured it too serious for bandy in the Off Topic forum, but am not a whanker about the discussion.
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Whatever floats your boat.....
as for me....
Scatter me to the four winds.
My spirit will be flying high 8)
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Not for me, but I found this intriguing.
lifegem.com : "The LifeGem ® is a certified, high-quality diamond created from the carbon of your loved one as a memorial to their unique life."
As for the trees, we have a family area in a cemetery. One year we all decided to plant our favorite tree around the area where we were to be laid to rest. Imagine our shock when the cemetery sexton had uprooted our trees and sent us a note saying you were not allowed to plant trees in the cemetery due to the fact it made the upkeep harder on them, lol.
Jason
(who apparently will not be laying under a Black Gum Tree for eternity)
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I might be tobacci or I might get you high
But roll me up and smoke me when I die.
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me...well, I have it in my will that I will have two plots...one in my dad's family cemetary in Missouri and another in California for my mom's family...as for my remains, I will be cremated and scattered over the ocean...The ocean because all life started there, and I wish to have my body returned to the primal beginning, so I may be able to continue to contribute to the circle of life...(insert Lion King joke here).
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i used to want to be cremated but apparently its not particularly environmentally friendly, so now im gonna have a woodland burial. my friend buried her nephew in this way and its a really beautiful idea - you are buried in all natural fibres in a coffin with no metal or plastic. they plant a sapling on top of you and so as you decompose you feed the tree. there arent any memorials or plaques or anything just a load of trees growing. there are whole forests of these trees... but i bet i will be the only hiv tree!!
my mother is donating her body to a research hospital, so i might do that as well first - not that i like the idea of my body being messed about with by medical students but im sure hiv research would benefit in some way...
i never thought about that idea but i really like it...actually though the tree does become your memorial in a sense...you could even go as far as selecting the location of the tree ahead of time (a special place for you, family and friends)...i would want my tree in a relatively clear area so that it will stand out...as the tree grows it can offer shade and comfort to those who need it...
thanks for the great idea!!!
lost
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I used to be a registered organ donor in the event of my untimely death. However, being HIV+, they don't want my dirty organs no more, so I've stipulated in my will that my body be donated to scientific research. After that, I don't really care what they do with what's left.
If I was to be buried, I'm keen on englishgirls idea. It is appealing and, for me, has a certain sense of completeness. I like old old cemetries and burial sites for the artistic beauty of the headstones, but I find recent gravesites often to be quite sad. We used to visit my sisters grave site every Sunday, after church and on the way to the football, to place flowers and have a little family hug and cry. I always felt so sad, however, for those around who never seemed to have anyone visit. It's like they were forgotten the moment they were buried, and I could never comprehend why. I don't want to be like that.
I do remember one year, when +ve people were dropping like flies, I ran across a group of gay men sprinkling the ashes of their mate across the dancefloor at a Mardi Gras party. Certainly not to everyones tastes, but I got talking to them and it was what he wanted and for them it was a very moving experience.
These pics are taken at Waverley Cemetery, not far from where I live in Sydney. The setting and the headstones are amazing.
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