Cara's Question (Am I infected?)

[Cara]

Hi, this is not a new question by any means, but I certainly value your input. I am a 32 year old widowed mother of two. Husband passed about 4 years ago. It has been a while since I had been with someone, and thru the stresses of life and need for intimacy, I was stupid. This guy I was with was charming and preferred no condom and I was an idiot enough to comply. After all, he didn't appear to be a user, was professional and might I add nicely dressed. We met up on September 12, 2012 and we had unprotected sex vaginal and oral. I knew better, but made a personal choice not to do that again and was going on about my life when approximately 2 weeks I started having a sore throat and vaginal itching. I can't ever remember having that before in my life. I went and had STD testing on October 1, 2012. Everything came back good except I was diagnosed with Bacterial Vaginosis. Put on a antibiotic specific for that and still had the sore throat. I had also noticed that previously I woke up for like a week with night sweats. One night I was completely drenched. I had chalked it up to hormones since my time was approaching for a period. Anyway, it took forever for the sore throat to go away and my doctor put me on a Zpak. I also took a home hiv test around six weeks that came back negative. I finally started feeling better about things with that result but just to be safe I did not have any sexual encounters and scheduled another std panel for November 27, 2012. Between that time I got sick yet again an went back to my doctor and she did some blood work. Said everything looked good except my test for Mono came back positive. I have read though that you can have that at any time and it show positive. This was the first time I had even tested for that. I had all the symptoms of that. Pain in the side and tiredness, but one thing that has been strange to me is no fever at all through all of this. In fact I have had a lower body temp than usual. I used to run close to 98, it's around 96/97. Anyway, I finally got better and went to have my November testing done. That all came back good. After this testing I decided to have another sexual partner Around December 7, 2012. I thought I was in the clear. I was at about one day away from the 11 week mark when I had std testing done again. I just knew I was good to go. Had planned to at least have it done again at 6 months. Strangely enough I had started to have reoccurring nose sores (two times) and about two weeks after my second partner, he got really sick with flu like symptoms. His doctor put him on antibiotics and eventually over time, he got better. Up to date... It is Jan 8, 2012 and I am sick again. Seems like a head cold, no fever though. Either this is the sickest year I have ever had, or can it be HIV? I am thinking about getting tested again since it wasn't at the 12/13 mark. Is there anything you can tell me about my situation that could help? Should I be worried? Thanks, sorry this is so long. I just want to get past this.

[Ann]

Cara,

You tested hiv negative at eleven weeks and one day.

That result isn't going to change. If the symptoms you experienced had anything to do with hiv infection, you would have tested positive by then. The illness that some people experience is due to the process the body goes through while producing antibodies, not the virus itself.

The vast majority of people who have actually been infected will seroconvert and test positive by six weeks, with the average time to seroconversion being only 22 days. A six week negative is highly unlikely to change, but must be confirmed at the three month point.

For you, testing again would be strictly for your peace of mind.

If you continue to feel unwell, keep working with your doctor to find out what's going on. I hope you realise that for some people, it can take weeks, if not months, to fully recover from mono.

You need to learn from this and start insisting that any man you have intercourse with is wearing a condom.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED FURTHER TESTING AT THIS TIME, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann

[Cara]

Ann,
 First of all, thanks for the quick response. I have a couple responses if that is okay. One thing I want to make sure of is whether I should go ahead and test again. If I am understanding you right if I was going to be positive, I would've been by the 6 week mark, but the 3 month mark is conclusive. So go ahead and test if I feel I need to but the odds of it being positive are slim to none? Also, I do not want to be in another situation where the guy does not want to use a condom or has none. I know this sounds stupid, but I was a virgin when I married, and up until recently I did not even know there were female condoms. Does this protect you from HIV and other STDs. What STDs are you not protected from where as condoms are concerned say Herpes for example. There is herpes 1 and 2 and I read online that both can cause genital sores, so...where does that leave one who kisses someone with Herpes. Really confused about the whole Herpes thing. Can you have oral Herpes and then give a partner genital Herpes or vice versa? Also, how do I use a female condom properly, any tips. I have never had to use one. I think that I would like to be more in control of that especially when it comes to my health. Oh I see you have a signature link for condom use. I will check that out.
 Second of all,
 I have to say that I have acquired a new found respect and knowledge. The respect I speak of is the strength I see in you and others that take their valuable time and energy to answer posts and give personal knowledge to comfort both those who have unfounded fears and ignorance about HIV and those who are living it and are still in shock of it all. Through everything you are going through in your personal life, you still make time for others. That means a lot to me. I can appreciate such meaning acts and gestures.

 Thank you so much for taking the time to answer my questions. Not only do I feel cared for, I feel educated. Like others have mentioned in posts here, the information is invaluable and most people cannot relate to doctors anyway. Too bad I can't just chat on here for no other reason but to hang!  Anyways, have a great week!

Cara

[Ann]

So go ahead and test if I feel I need to but the odds of it being positive are slim to none?

Exactly.

 female condoms. Does this protect you from HIV and other STDs.

Also, how do I use a female condom properly, any tips. I have never had to use one.

Female condoms prevent hiv and are effective against other STIs as well. Sometimes they actually provide better protection against STIs like herpes and syphilis which can be transmitted through simple skin-to-skin contact. (hiv is NOT spread skin-to-skin) This is because the outer portion of the femidom partially covers the vulva.

Every package of female condoms (femidoms) comes with complete instruction and you can also find instructions online. They're no more difficult to use than tampons although they may take practice the first time or two.

I've used them and yes, they do give you more control. A guy can't take one off without your knowledge like they can with a traditional condom. 

What STDs are you not protected from where as condoms are concerned say Herpes for example. There is herpes 1 and 2 and I read online that both can cause genital sores, so...where does that leave one who kisses someone with Herpes. Really confused about the whole Herpes thing. Can you have oral Herpes and then give a partner genital Herpes or vice versa?

Yes, oral and genital herpes are pretty much what you could call interchangeable. Up to 80% of people in the US have herpes - commonly called "cold sores". Don't kiss people with active herpes outbreaks or let them give you oral.

As I told you in my first post, the other STIs are MUCH more easily transmitted than hiv. If you're sexually active, you should be getting regular STI testing even if condoms are always used.

While you're not likely to test hiv positive when condoms are used, it is possible to end up with things like herpes, syphilis, gonorrhea, or chlamydia, to name the most common. However, correct and consistent condom use will drastically cut down your chances of getting any of those.

Ann

[Cara]

Thank you very much Ann..

[Ann]

Cara,

You're welcome.

Ann