Test results ready and will get in person tomorrow

[ginagreen]

I have been reading these forums for a couple months now while agonizing over lymph nodes symptoms.  With the advice of people on the sites who live with the disease, I finally got tested.  The results have come in early and I have to go get them in person tomorrow.  I am very convinced that they are postiive.  The doctors do not have an explanation for my swollen lymph nodes.  If positive, my exposure was 5 years ago, so it is quite possible that I need medication or... shit...I am very scared.  I am posting on this forum to ask for advice.  If my results are positive, please give advice on how I handle this.  I have a child at home and one in college.  I am relied upon to remain optimistic and always there for everyone.  No one in my life knows.  I am really really scared.  Any advice would be great on how I get through my days knowing a positive result.  I've already decided not to tell anyone until I have a grip.  I am not married and have not exposed anyone in the last 5 years.

[cubmartin]

Gina,

I don't know what type of risk you've had, but sincerly hope things go well for you tomorrow.  I will say a prayer for you. 

cub

[RapidRod]

Even if you think you were infected five years ago does not mean you will need to go on medication. I went one month shy of 21 years without the need to go on medication. So instead of thinking you are positive wait on the test results.

[Andy Velez]

Well, even without giving the details of the possible exposure, you've done the smartest thing by getting tested.

Hopefully you will test negative, but whatever the result it will give you information you need to have in order to properly protect your health. HIV status is never something to be guessing about.

Good luck with your result and keep us posted.

Cheers,

[ginagreen]

Thanks for your good wishes and prayers.  I had unprotected sex 5 years ago without ejaculation.  I also gave oral sex.  This person I found out later was very promiscuous.  It was during a really bad time in my life that I have gotten through, and my life is going well for the first time in about 15 years.  So this will be like throwing me back into that time, but even worse.  I leave in 3 hours to meet with the counselor to get my results.  Any advice on how to get through the days after a shock of a positive test?  Your forums are very helpful when one feels really alone.  I appreciate what you all do.

[Ann]

Gina,

My advice to you is to stop putting the cart before the horse. Hiv is not an easy virus to transmit. Go in there expecting a negative result. You can't begin dealing with a positive result until you actually have one. You don't and believe it or not, the odds are in your favour of testing negative.

Ann

[ginagreen]

I just returned from getting my test results.  They are a definite negative.  I could not have gone through getting tested without the support and postings that I have found on this site and The Body.  Of course, I cried out of relief and I feel humbled.  I am forever changed by thinking I had this virus and entering the world of hiv/aids on these websites.  I have a deep honor and respect for all who are living with this disease.  I cannot go back to life as it was.  I need to do something.  Of course, I gave a donation to the organization.  But I want to do more.  If anyone can suggest the best way to get involved and make a difference... what is the best avenue to help educate people about the disease, etc.

Thank you for your replies and help.  God Bless.