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Author Topic: Extremely paranoid and scared....  (Read 8358 times)

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Offline tommytea

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Extremely paranoid and scared....
« on: August 09, 2011, 05:51:08 am »
Hi. I had protected anal sex and gave a brief blowjob (maybe like 10 secs?) on March 9th. The guy was uncut. During the sex, the guy said the condom was kinda slipping and he had to pull it back but in the end, there was no ejaculation but i'm still extremely scared about the precum!

The following day after the sex, i caught a cold and was sneezing a lot until i think i had a fever but then i got better the next day. About 1.5 months after sex, (almost 2 mths) i developed shingles. It lasted about two weeks.

Then, exactly 3 months and 1 day later after the sex on 9th March, i caught a flu. Got sore throat, body chills, high fever. Just to inform you guys, i'm a tutor and here's my scenario: I had a class on 9th March, the kid whom i had to tutor was sitting in front of me, coughing and i asked him whether he was sick and he said yes. The next day, bamm! i caught the flu. And i'm still coughing up to this very day but no fever, diarrhea, vomiting etc..

So, am i at risk? I'm really scared about this. What's ur take on this?? I'm practically shaking while typing this..

Offline tommytea

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Re: Extremely paranoid and scared....
« Reply #1 on: August 09, 2011, 05:56:33 am »
oops sorry, the class was on 9th june. so i caught the flu on 10th june. 3 months later. sorry for the typo.

Offline Ann

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Re: Extremely paranoid and scared....
« Reply #2 on: August 09, 2011, 06:33:11 am »
Tommy,

You have not been at risk for hiv infection. Protected intercourse is just that - protected. There have been long-term studies of couples where one is positive and one is negative. In the couples who used condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, but no barrier for oral activities, not one of the negative partners became infected with hiv. Not one.

It doesn't matter if the condom slipped a bit during intercourse. As long as the head was covered (and if it wasn't, the condom would have come completely off), then you were both protected.

Oral sex is not a risk for hiv infection.

If you cannot bring yourself to believe the no risk status of your experiences, then go test and collect your negative result. Whatever has been going on with you getting colds or flu has nothing to do with your sexual experiences.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED TO TEST SPECIFICALLY OVER YOUR RECENT CONCERNS, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline tommytea

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Re: Extremely paranoid and scared....
« Reply #3 on: August 09, 2011, 07:02:23 am »
Thanks Ann, i'll go and get tested one day. But thanks a lot. It's such a relief to hear your response. Major relief. :)

Offline Ann

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Re: Extremely paranoid and scared....
« Reply #4 on: August 09, 2011, 07:08:43 am »
Tommy,

You're welcome. Remember to get a full sexual health check up annually, and use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline tommytea

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Re: Extremely paranoid and scared....
« Reply #5 on: September 04, 2011, 04:18:13 am »
Ann, is it possible for a 23 year old person to develop shingles? I've read numerous stuff online saying that it's rare to get shingles at young age. Do shingles have anything to do with HIV? I know i was under a tremendous stress when i had shingles thinking that i caught HIV. Could stress be the problem?

Offline Ann

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Re: Extremely paranoid and scared....
« Reply #6 on: September 04, 2011, 07:47:55 am »
Tommy,

I've known several hiv negative twenty-somethings who got shingles. Stress usually does have a lot to do with it. If a person has had chickenpox as a child, then they can get shingles at any time during the rest of their lives. It has nothing to do with hiv.

Once again, you have not had a risk for hiv infection and you only need to test as part of a routine sexual health check up, which as a sexually active adult you should be having done at least once a year.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline tommytea

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Re: Extremely paranoid and scared....
« Reply #7 on: December 21, 2011, 09:08:01 am »
Hi again..

I'm on this forum almost everyday seeking out information. However, i have one question, you guys said saliva does not contain any hiv virus, but can you explain about oraquick test? How is it possible to detect hiv using this test if saliva doesn't contain the virus?

Secondly, when i said the condom slipped, the head was covered alright but even if the head was covered, i can't stop thinking that the precum "escaped" the condom if you understand what i mean? Don't you think so? Or am i still obsessing about this?

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Extremely paranoid and scared....
« Reply #8 on: December 21, 2011, 10:06:50 am »
It uses a fluid called oral mucosal transudate not saliva.
« Last Edit: December 21, 2011, 10:26:59 am by RapidRod »

Offline tommytea

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Re: Extremely paranoid and scared....
« Reply #9 on: December 21, 2011, 10:14:47 am »
thanks RapidRod, but what about the risk of the slipped condom?

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Extremely paranoid and scared....
« Reply #10 on: December 21, 2011, 10:28:08 am »
thanks RapidRod, but what about the risk of the slipped condom?
As long as the head of your penis was covered you were not at risk.

Offline Ann

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Re: Extremely paranoid and scared....
« Reply #11 on: December 21, 2011, 12:29:14 pm »
Tommy,

Hiv tests do not look for the virus itself. They look for hiv antibodies. Antibodies are something your own body produces as a reaction to foreign objects in the bloodstream. It's a function of your immune system.

We have repeatedly told you that you have not been at risk for hiv infection. If you cannot bring yourself to believe us, go test and collect your negative result. As a sexually active adult, you should be testing at least once a year anyway.

Re-read your entire thread. We've explained things to you in detail and frankly, I don't feel like repeating myself when it seems you aren't paying attention to anything that's been said to you.

If you continue to come back to rehash this same incident over and over and over again, you will be given a time out. Please consider yourself warned!!!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline tommytea

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Re: Extremely paranoid and scared....
« Reply #12 on: January 03, 2012, 12:35:04 am »
I'm really sorry but i promise, i promise this will be my last time rehashing this incident. I've left out some information post incident.

Ok after the sex on March 2011, about 1 month later i had this itchy spot (just one spot) on top of my hand. I thought it was because of the hand soap i used but i'm not sure. It took a reaaaaally long time to go away like probably 2 months ++, finally i bought this one moisturizer (i've tried other and didnt work) and the one itchy spot went away. This one itchy spot one my hand is my biggest concern so far and the reason why i think i've contracted hiv.

3 months later as i told you in the post, i caught a flu after haven't been sick for a long time (prolly caught it from a student of mine, he was sick at that time), and after finishing the antibiotic course, i got hives! i've never been allergic to anything! i got steroid pack and the hives went away for 2 months. then it came back and up to this very day, i still have hives. and fyi, i've been sick like 2-3 times last year post incident (after 3 months). It's like i'm prone to infection. why is this happening to me?? :(


Offline RapidRod

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Re: Extremely paranoid and scared....
« Reply #13 on: January 03, 2012, 12:37:42 am »
■Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result,  or no-risk situation will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

Offline Ann

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Re: Extremely paranoid and scared....
« Reply #14 on: January 03, 2012, 05:56:12 am »
Tommy,

We've already told you that if you cannot bring yourself to believe us, go test and collect your negative result.

You're correct about one thing - this WILL be your last time rehashing this NO RISK situation for at least 28 days.

I'm giving you that time out you've been warned about. Do not attempt to create a new account to get around your time out because if you do, you will be permanently banned.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline tommytea

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Re: Extremely paranoid and scared....
« Reply #15 on: February 07, 2012, 08:13:22 pm »
Hi,
  First of all, i'm sorry for asking questioning my incident before over n over again. Please don't ban me again. :D
 
   Here's a new incident and some questions to strengthen my knowledge about HIV. I was the receptive in anal sex but my partner used a condom. A polyurethane? condom (ultra thin). I didn't know his status but he said he's negative. He ejaculated inside me with the condom on but i didn't feel any leakage. I think he quickly pulled it out too. So my questions:

1)Is the ultra thin condom as effective as the latex one? What's my risk?

2)A month later i got this one painless, tender bump on the left side of the groin. It hurt unless i pressed it reaally hard. Upon searching on the net, i thought it was just hernia because i lifted 10 lbs dumbbells on my chair (i know stupid right?) once before the tender bump appeared. Then, it went away. Oh btw, no fever, headache, etc. Is this related to ARS?

3)I read this on this forum posted by one the mods here and i quote, "The exceptions for testing up to 6 months are situations in which longterm intravenous drug use is involved or a severely depleted immune system due organ transplant or treatment for cancer." So, for "normal people", is 6 weeks more than enough if someone tested negative/positive?


Offline RapidRod

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Re: Extremely paranoid and scared....
« Reply #16 on: February 07, 2012, 08:35:34 pm »
1. Yes
2. You never had an exposure so it is not ARS.
3. You never had a risk and don't need testing.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Extremely paranoid and scared....
« Reply #17 on: February 07, 2012, 08:45:57 pm »
You are worrying needlessly about HIV. You didn't have a risk as you have already been told.

But IF you had a risk, it's 3 months for a conclusive negative result. But you don't need to get tested because you did not have a risk.

Stop worrying. Really.
Andy Velez

Offline tommytea

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Re: Extremely paranoid and scared....
« Reply #18 on: February 07, 2012, 09:16:33 pm »
Thanks RapidRod and Andy. I'll stop worrying now. By the way, this is a really great forum and I've educated myself A LOT about HIV/Aids here. Thank you so much to all the Mods especially Ann, Rapid and Andy.

The stigma for HIV here in Malaysia is strong for your information. For example, anyone who has passed away with HIV must be cleaned using one part of bleach to 9 parts of water. I mean it's just sadistic IMHO and brings shame to one's family. I know this applies to other contagious diseases as well such as H1N1 etc but people take it to another level for those with HIV and it's really saddening. I just hope from this year onward, things will get better. Let's pray for the cure! :)

Offline tommytea

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Re: Extremely paranoid and scared....
« Reply #19 on: February 13, 2012, 05:14:07 pm »
Upon researching the net, i do believe i have HIV now. I think i'm experiencing the minor symptomatic phase of HIV disease.

I didn't tell you this because i'm scared. Actually 4 years ago (2008), i had anal sex, i was the receptive partner. We used an ultra thin condom and he shot the load inside me. Just to make my mind at ease, i didn't feel any dribble after the sex and i felt the warmth of the cum prolly because of the thin condom but i don't know. i didnt see the condom afterwards. i asked him like last year whether he has HIV or not, he just lashed at me and said that i was being ridiculous.

Then i came across this website: http://www.health24.com/medical/Condition_centres/777-792-814-1756,22216.asp and i came across this:

3. The minor symptomatic phase of HIV disease
In the third phase of infection, minor and early symptoms of HIV disease usually begin to manifest.

This phase usually starts when people with HIV antibodies begin to present with one or more of the following symptoms:

    Mild to moderate swelling of the lymph nodes in the neck, armpits and groin --> (one time, small lymph nodes on the groin on year 2011)
    Occasional fevers --> (3 times fever last year after i caught the flu as i told you in my previous post)
    Shingles (or Herpes zoster) --> (one time last year, roughly about 2 months after the sex in my previous post)
    Skin rashes and nail infections --> (experiencing chronic hives problem now after taking antibiotics for the flu last year)
    Sores in the mouth that come and go --> (unexplained swelling of the gums at the back of my mouth last year)
    Recurrent upper respiratory tract infections --> (still producing yellow phlegm after the flu last year and coughing one in a while)
    Weight loss up to 10% of the person’s usual body weight --> (i lost alot of weight before the sex last year)
    General feelings of tiredness and non-feeling-well --> ( i do feel tired lately)




I'm seriously having doubts about the thin condom that we used and that i didnt see the condom afterwards. It was my first time so all i think about was just pleasure...it was stupid of me.  I do remember that i didn't feel wet on my anus.. he shot quite a lot, like 3 shots. I should have felt the cum dripping out right? Please help me..? Don't ban me please..

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Extremely paranoid and scared....
« Reply #20 on: February 13, 2012, 05:40:50 pm »
I began to post a lengthy rebuttal to your ridiculous assertion, then re-read your thread in it's entirety.

I truly hope you do get help for what is obvious an irrational fear of HIV. A virus, I might add, that you do not have.

I have reported your post to the moderators, and respectfully recuse myself from further discussion.
"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline tommytea

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Re: Extremely paranoid and scared....
« Reply #21 on: February 13, 2012, 05:53:15 pm »
I'm really sorry if it sounded ridiculous. I've told all the incidents that have ever happened to me. Next time, if i ever come back, i'll only come back with the test result i promise..i was just scared just now..i'm really sorry.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Extremely paranoid and scared....
« Reply #22 on: February 13, 2012, 06:30:52 pm »
Fortunately fears are not facts. And the facts of the situation lead to a well grounded opinion that HIV is not your problem.

You've already been given one Time Out. So you need to be aware that if you continue to return with more queries about a non-risk that you will end up getting another Time Out or being banned.
Andy Velez

Offline tommytea

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Re: Extremely paranoid and scared....
« Reply #23 on: February 14, 2012, 01:24:01 am »
I'm truly sorry Andy and the other mods. I'm not questioning the non-risk incident but i'm just confused when you guys stated that average time to seroconversion is 22 days, and also by six weeks for most people and the fact that more than 6 months is just rare but i have yet to find if seroconversion is possible after 12 weeks/3 months like in my case. My number is in the middle and i can't find the info on it. Maybe i left something out or just didn't read properly..

Offline Ann

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Re: Extremely paranoid and scared....
« Reply #24 on: February 14, 2012, 05:20:05 am »
Tom,

Seroconversion normally occurs between week two and week four. Some people take slightly longer than four. The vast majority will test positive by six weeks. You're not going to seroconvert after three months.

As you've been repeatedly told, if you cannot bring yourself to believe that you had no risk, go test and collect your negative result.

I'm giving you that time out you've been warned about. Do not attempt to create a new account to get around you time out because if you do, you will be permanently banned.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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