58 and feeling lonesome

[pipmonk]

Hi everyone!

I trust the day is being a good one for you.  I'm in one of those places where everyone seems to be busy with their own stuff.  My back has been a pain issue for a while now, and my prostate cancer treatment is dragging on a bit.  However, the HIV status is in good shape thanks to the meds.  But mentally I'm sinking , and would like some kind words to kick start me again.

Pip (58 year old UK resident in need of some TLC)

[pipmonk]

ps;  any advice on how to deal with morbid thoughts on suicide?  I feel so lonely and not handling the loss of youth and friends very well.  Where I live there isn't much support, it is an isolated area.  I am thinking of moving back to London but other factors mean realistically I have to stay here.  I'm too old to get a new job, and because of health issues and lack of work experience I'm hugely unemployable.  I live in a good environment but no gay love or support as such.  I guess I need to strengthen my mental thinking.  Right?

[Ptrk3]

Fortunately, there are a number of forum members in the UK, so I'm sure some will chime in soon to give you some practical suggestions about local support groups and social-interaction opportunities.

In the meantime, and on a continuing basis, do keep in touch with this forum for support and guidance.  There are many people here who may be similarly situated, and they are caring, and can help via the internet community.

If you have suicidal ideation, please treat it seriously.  If you have not perused this already, please check out this link:

https://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=69487.0

Please take care of yourself and keep in touch.

[MarkintheDark]

Hello Pip -- Between the chronic pain and cancer treatments, I think it's completely understandable that what sounds to me like clinical depression would be a problem as you deal with unrelenting physical stressors.  And, certainly, isolation would contribute to that.  Caveat: I'm not a therapist. 

A couple thoughts.  For one, I'd imagine you might have some options on therapy and antidepressants via NHS, yes?  (A close friend in East Anglia dealt with brain cancer and has repeatedly told me of his positive experiences, even being out in the sticks past Cambridge).  I'd hope your fellow Brits might chime in on this with their own experience.  My take is you're dealing with, at the least, three medical challenges simultaneously, plus ancillary issues that would seem to be unavoidable consequences. 

For another, having spent years dealing with my own clinical depression, I found some online help with DepressionForums.org, including posts about suicidal ideation, therapies, etc.  I've found most of the members are US or GB, a similar forum format to POZ.  I've been on it a couple years, completely out about my status, challenges, etc., and have found nothing but acceptance and support.

PM if you like.

[pipmonk]

Hi Mark, and Patrick (?) 

Thanks to both of you for taking time to write; I appreciate that.  Thanks Mark for the depressionforum link; I'll take a look. 

Sending all good vibes to you,

Pip

[mecch]

Can you manage some kind of routine body work.  Massage therapy.

Or do some activity in a social situation such as swim or gym.  Maybe this would cut the isolation a bit?

[hippo1010]

Hello. I can't offer any advice, but I hope you keep posting here. So sorry you are feeling down.