Ladies need advise/feedback regarding using non HIV dating sites

[rockchick]

Being positive for 10 years, I have dated several men on HIV sites and have found  90% are bisexual, have serious mental issues, drug addicts and seriously promiscuous. I am not saying there are not decent guys out there. Just my experience. It is beyond depressing. Has anyone tried regular non HIV sites and had any luck. How they reacted to your ststus, when disclosed. Please any feedback would be appreciated

[Bobsy]

My view - why just limit ourselves to HIV+ guys? Dating can be difficult enough generally without reducing options further. I did sign up to a couple of HIV sites a few months after my diagnosis but due to lack of choice and very few/no pics on there (including my own) I didn’t spend long on there.

Considering we are lucky enough to have U=U now – and can prove it as it’s endorsed by the WHO etc,. Even the law (where I live anyway) says I don’t have to disclose if I don’t want (so totally my choice as I can’t pass it on) I prefer to stick to the regular online dating sites.

My experience – well other than the first date, where I felt I had a flaming great neon HIV banner over my head, I’ve found it easier just concentrating on getting to know the guy first. I’ve not found anyone yet that I want to disclose to (call me fussy!).

I have heard from other women that if going to disclose, it’s best done before having sex! Perhaps after a few dates if you think things might progress further. Along the lines of – “I have something to tell you. I’m living with a condition that is well managed. I am healthy and of no risk to you or anyone else, just take a pill a day…..etc etc.

I do know of one woman who tries to be totally upfront with it online and has a link to HIV info in her profile. I think that, while I respect her greatly for doing this, that people either don’t bother to click through the link, or immediately prejudge her.

The best way is to hope that the one for each of us is not going to be judgmental and will at least listen to the facts – and most importantly get to know us first (and the amazing women we are  )

As for me – I live in hope. Going on another 1st date tomorrow. Would be good to have sex again  !!!

[rockchick]

Thank you for your input and taking the time to write back . Take care

[friendsfirst68]

good to know....not that I am anywhere near that point but I can't imagine how to bring that up in conversation ......it was hard enough telling the men i had been intimate with when I found out...thanks for the input