I’m interested in someone who’s HIV positive

[Justin__]

I a 19 year old male (HIV-NEGATIVE). just came home from my first date with someone who is HIV-positive And is undetectable. I really like this guy and would eventually would like to commit myself in a relationship with him. Are there any tips to ever make it safe for him and me to have sex? Follow up question: What are the things that I have to consider within starting a relationship with someone who’s HIV positive? Follow up 2: Would taking PREP be rude to him or is it fine?

[Jim Allen]

Are there any tips to ever make it safe for him and me to have sex?

No such thing as "safe" sex but there is "safer" sex, plenty of STIs you can get despite condom usage or from activities that are perfectly safe in terms of HIV.

However, from an HIV point of view, a person living with HIV (PLHIV), who is on Antiretroviral Therapy and has achieved a suppressed viral load in their blood for at least six months, and continues to take their meds can not sexually transmit HIV.
https://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=71864.0

Of course, condoms have the benefit that they provide some levels of protection against other far easier-acquired STIs. So with consistent condom usage, you should be testing at least yearly out of standard routine and if you do engage in condomless intercourse, consider testing more regularly for STIs.

You could also consider PrEP, but if they truly have a suppressed viral load for six+ months and are taking their meds correctly they can't pass it on. I suppose it's a question of trust... Anyhow, you could consider PrEP although, unlike the condom, it would not offer any risk reduction for other STIs.

What are the things that I have to consider within starting a relationship with someone who’s HIV positive?

Generally speaking, there isn't much to consider, people living with HIV take their meds and live their lives as "normal"

I could tell you that the medication gives us all superpowers that we normally don't discuss outside of the community. Its all very hush-hush and we make porn stars look like wimps, but that would be a lie...Except Micheal prehaps.

Would taking PREP be rude to him or is it fine?

Nobody can answer for him. Talk to him about it.

However, you need to look after your own sexual health - end of story. If they think that's rude for you to use condoms & PrEP then that is their issue to deal with and prehaps it means they are the wrong person for you to be with.

[Jim Allen]

Anyhow, good luck and hope you get a 2nd date. 

[Justin__]

Anyhow, good luck and hope you get a 2nd date.

Heyyy Jim! Thank you so much ! I’ve educated myself a lot with researches; your response and the information I got helped a lot. He was scared to tell this subject to me because he thought I would feel off. I wanted to reassure him that his status doesn’t change how I feel about him.

[Jim Allen]

👍