gave a bj to other man. help!

[moosaidthecow]

first of all, i have read a lot of the comments on this forum including the lessons, but i still feel i need to ask my question.

basically i gave oral sex to a man who i didn't know - i did not know his status either, there was no ejaculation - i know that this form of sex is considered very low risk (if that), but i tend to pick the skin of lips sometimes (horrible habit), i am not sure if i picked my lips before i practised the sex, but it would not be considered unusual if i did.

questions:

do i need to test?

how does the possibility of open cuts on the lips change the risk? surely precum could get directly into the bloodstream that way. wouldn't it be classed as high risk then?

i also read that bad oral hygeine increases the risk - i consider my mouth healthy, although my gums do bleed sometimes but ONLY when i brush my teeth. i know that my gums were not bleeding at the time so do i not need to worry about that factor?

i read in the uk guidelines that the risk of giving a blowjob is betwen 0 - 0.04% (it does not say if that included ejaculation). would you agree?

thanks.


oh, and it has been nearly a month since the incident. i have having to wait another two months.

[Ann]

Moo,

You only need to test if it is part of your annual or semi-annual routine sexual health check-up.

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL STIs together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with a sexually transmitted infection.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Please also read through the Welcome Thread and follow the Lessons links found there.

Ann

[moosaidthecow]

wow. thanks anne. that's very reassuring. and i always use condoms for vaginal sex (this is the only unsafe enounter i have had). so when i get my next annual check-up - i have no reason to suspect hiv, right?

thanks again. i really respect you guys.

[Ann]

wow. thanks anne. that's very reassuring. and i always use condoms for vaginal sex (this is the only unsafe enounter i have had). so when i get my next annual check-up - i have no reason to suspect hiv, right?

Moo, that's correct! Keep using those condoms and remember your routine check ups and you'll be fine.

Ann

[moosaidthecow]

oh, sorry one more thing - i got a Hepatitis A jab a while ago (after the event) cause i was going to egypt. i know this may sound stupid but does it change anything in regards to hiv?

thanks again.

[RapidRod]

No your shot will not change anything.

[moosaidthecow]

okay. thanks a lot rapid. you guys are a great help for people that are worried they are infected and for people already infected. also because most of you (or all?) are living with the disease you must be more concerned and passionate about stopping it than any doctor or politician - which is why the infomation you provide is the most accurate and trustworthy, i reckon (doctors always want to protect themselves).

anyway, i apologise if i appear too grateful, but thank you!!!

[RapidRod]

I'm glad we were able to help. You take care.

[moosaidthecow]

hey. throughout this experience i have learned a lot more about hiv. this may be good, but at the same time it has caused me to get a lot more paranoid about it.

i guess i worry about being infected deliberately in a non-sexual way. i know this may sound stupid, but i was wondering if hiv can be transmitted through food if someone deliberately exposed the food to the virus? should i ever be concerned about hiv when not having unsafe sex and using drugs?

[RapidRod]

You don't get HIV from food, eating utensils or from correctly using a condom.

[moosaidthecow]

ok, cool ... so all i have to do is have safe sex and not use drugs, and i will be 100% safe from hiv?

[RapidRod]

Don't share works, always use a condom correctly for anal and vaginal sex and yes you'll have safe sex.

[moosaidthecow]

cool. that's good to hear. i will now only worry about hiv if i have had unsafe sex or shared needles (i will always be aware of it, though).

oh, and i assume by "safe sex" you mean "safe from HIV", right?

anyway, thanks again for your time, rapid.

[Andy Velez]

Yes, with regard to condom use consistently it will very effectively protect you from HIV. There are other STDs out there which can be transmitted by skin to skin contact so if you are sexually active it's a good idea to regularly have a full STD panel done. That means at least annually and every six months is even better.

Also, using condoms means "safer sex" and not "safe sex." Anytime you have sex with anything other than your hand there is theoretically the possibility of some risk. I say this just to be exact with you. In the real world of HIV we have found that consistent condom use does the job very effectively in relation to HIV.

Cheers,   

[moosaidthecow]

okay, cool. thank you, Andy.

from now on i will only have sex with people i know well and even then i will stay protected. and i will, of course, NEVER share needles.

i think that kinda lifestyle pretty much eliminates the risk of hiv - at least, I hope so.

but, god, i hope i stop worrying about people deliberatley trying to infect me in a non-sexual manner. it's like every week, i get a new hiv anxiety ("omg what if he put an hiv infected fluid in my food!"). i really need to see someone about it, i guess. it's good that i admit it's stupid and irratational. anyway, i'l stop talking about all the psychological fears cause i don't think this forum is for that kinda stuff.

thanks Ann, Rapid and Andy. this site is a valuable resorce.