POZ Community Forums
Off Topic Forums => Off Topic Forum => Topic started by: Matty the Damned on June 26, 2008, 05:02:44 pm
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The outdoor furniture of Ohio can finally relax. From NBC:
Man caught having sex with table gets 6 months
BELLEVUE, OH -- Police say a man was arrested after admitting to, and being caught on DVD having sex with his picnic table repeatedly.
Investigators say they received a tip that Art Price Jr., 40, of 146 Brinker St. in Bellevue was having sex with a picnic table while outside on the deck. The incidents occurred between January and March 2008.
Police say on March 13, the tipster dropped off three DVDs which showed Price in the act. On four occasions, Price is seen naked and masturbating in the rear room near the open doorway; he then comes out to the deck. He tilts the metal round picnic table on its side and lays up against it and has sexual intercourse with the table. Afterwards he cleans the table and the deck.
(source) (http://www.wnwo.com/news/news_story.aspx?id=150083)
Take that North Carolina! :)
MtD
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LOL, I remember reading about that. I just wonder if the neighbor made any money off the DVD's?
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This guy sounds like a real picnic-basket case.
Wonder if he's smarter than the average bear? Hey Yogi?
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How old was the table?
Not allowed any furniture in his cell?
What brand was it? Can't ya see the rush on July 4th sales.
Was he wearing a condom?
Questions, questions!
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I wonder what the disseminating harmful material to juveniles charge was for.
Sex with a table is new to me. Maybe he should have made freinds with a Snapple bottle or something so he wouldnt get into trouble. ;D
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Oh, all of you just don't understand the peculiar pressures of living in the Midwest. In times of severe weather -- winter storms, tornadoes, flooding -- a man's furniture is all that he has got; an inexorable bond, a loving bond, forms naturally. This man and his picnic table deserve our sympathy, our support and understanding, not our mockery! His example has emboldened me to say that my red couch and I... well, you can fill in the blanks, imagine the rest. Some shame remains, but I need your help in accepting that we are who we are; and that one day -- somewhere, sometime -- the world will celebrate our love instead of condemning us.
In sorrow and solidarity,
Jay
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I just had a thought. What about chaffing? or abrasions?
I'm wondering if he has developed calluses.
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Well, whatever turns a person on.
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Sometimes the comments posted by readers to a "weird news" story are even more entertaining than the story itself, as is the case with the comments to this local NBC news story (and certainly more funny than my feeble attempt at irony earlier).
I was trying to think which paraphilia, if any, this man could be diagnosed with -- well, besides, possibly, exhibitionism -- and at first I thought of "forniphilia": sexual objectification in which a person's body is incorporated into a piece of furniture. But that's not quite right, because this fetish involves having a dom use the sub as furniture. Which is not the case here, obviously. Maybe this is just good ol' fashioned fetishism: being attracted to an object not conventionally regarded as being sexual in nature.
Jay
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To qualify as a fetish the object in question must be essential to the pervert achieving gratification.
MtD
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To qualify as a fetish the object in question must be essential to the pervert achieving gratification.
MtD
True. And we can't say that that's the case with this Ohioan.
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Mr Price's passion seems remarkably dull. That he (allegedly) gave copies of the DVDs to minors points to something darker.
MtD
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Ohhh I didn't see that part of the story. Man, that is just strange. I mean the whole thing is strange but to tape ones self screwing a table then distribute it to kids. bizarre.
(http://www.wnwo.com/uploadedImages/wnwo/News/Stories/Art%20Price%20-%20Bellevue.JPG?w=250)
He isn't exactly Brad Pitt. I've seen less atractive but I still wouldn't want to watch him take any furniture for a spin.
Aside from the idiots that want to point and laugh who would want to watch?
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I feel bad for the chairs that just sat there without getting any.
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well, at least he is monogamous
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/2000899/Man-admits-%27having-sex%27-with-1%2C000-cars.html
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quote ann "This guy sounds like a real picnic-basket case.
Wonder if he's smarter than the average bear? Hey Yogi? "................
I resemble that!!!!
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I read about a guy who had a fetish for auto exhaust pipes. It is amazing how esoteric these things can be.
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I have this old Shop-Vac.......
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Hi Matt -
I am so sorry for not replying on your thread - but you don't need me to, really?? Of course I appreciate what you have shared here with all of us and let's just say it has been a good lesson in hijacking as well. I won't forget it , ever! Hey, at least the guy cleaned up after himself, ay? Good manners makes it ok, I guess ;)
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Gettin' n00bz to brown nose is so easy these days.
Heh.
MtD