AIDSMEDS Family Values

[david25luvit]

Apparently there are more issues here than meet the eye.  Personally I'm surprised its been allowed to go on so long...
Suprised some Goderator hasn't seen fit to end this dialogue by locking it out.
I guess it all depends on who's doing the talking......

Family Values....Yep!  I see it!  Thanks Lisa & Jay....Interesting reads




i

[Iggy]

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[ACinKC]

[Andy Velez]

Dear All,

Doug's made a really good point about how newcomers to HIV and the Forum might well be taken aback by some of the exchanges here and in other threads.

So once again it becomes a matter of how to balance free and open exchanges of ideas without having it degenerate into attacks.

Some have questioned about why the thread hasn't been locked. For the timebeing I would rather just let it wind down if there's nothing further that's useful needs to be said.

[anniebc]

Well AC, I was hoping it wouldn't come to this...but I'm sending the boys in...drastic times call for drastic measures...please take note, you do not want to mess with these guys, they are not called the alpacioso for nothing...



Hugs
Jan
(who hopes this will end on a good note)

[Sdgirl]

I personally asked Andy to lock this thread, because as usual, it has trailed off the original topic.  He responded and said that he really didn't understand why I felt the way I did in the first place.

Being misunderstood has never been one of the problems I have faced in my life, but hey, it's AIDSMEDS and people are always being misunderstood, just like I felt Eldon and his intentions were.

The true intention of my post, albeit emotionall charged was to say, let's cease bullying people and do exactly what people on this thread have suggested, ignore them, don't read their posts, pass them by. 

No one is saying that Eldon is incapable of defending himself, the point is "why should he have to?"

[Andy Velez]

Hi Lisa,

Well, I think I'm being misquoted regarding that PM. But that's less important than the point you make about bullying, so I'd rather let the PM be.   

However imperfectly, we do work hard here to stop bullying it when it comes to our attention. I know I speak for Peter, Tim and I when I say that. And we've spoken up about it many times. As I've said before, there is this balance we attempt to maintain between mindful free expression and maintaining necessary boundaries. 

The thing also is that who in the world is going to say they're PRO-BULLYING? or pro-war? But sometimes what seems to happen is that when people have strong feelings about something they lose their perspective. That can result in saying and doing things they might not do ordinarily. So we just have to be mindful about not allowing free expression to end up trampling on others.

At times, I think it's impossible to avoid angering someone or stirring other feelings when there are differences of opinion and outlook. It's being aware and how we handle those feelings that can help to keep things civilized.   

With that intention in mind I hope we can move on.

Cheers,

[lydgate]

Lisa, I'm going to belabor this point (and it's getting back to your original post):

"No one is saying that Eldon is incapable of defending himself"

Really? That is exactly what MtD says, in those words at least once and by implication many more times.

And while we're on the subject of PMs: thanks to all who messaged me to thank me, albeit privately, for #29.

Jay

Moving on...

[bocker3]

Moving on...

Shall we all??   Please!

[thunter34]

I didn't read Matty's post as particularly mean at all.  I don't see that he called Eldon stupid or even weak, necessarily.  I read in it that he was saying that Eldon wasn't able to properly fend off the attacks he was getting because (1.)  They hit him unexpectedly...rather, he was caught off guard because he likely never imagined himself getting attacked by fellow members of a support group, and (2.)  He just didn't have enough meanness in his nature to win against such an attack.  (Something akin to throwing a puppy dog into a ring with pit bulls...that sort of thing).  That last one, in particular, is somewhat of a compliment.


I wasn't going to post in this thread at all because it wasn't really my fight (and still isn't, really) and I think my thread history with Eldon pretty much speaks for itself.  Anyway, Matty's posts seem to have generated quite a stir.  I was just offering my take on it because I didn't read it as all that offensive.  I thought a different perspective on it might help.  Just my two cents to take or leave.  That's all I will likely have to say on this whole thing.  Ya'll can duke it out from here.

EDITED TO SAY:  In fact, I was so stunned by the sweetness of Matty's post, I began to wonder if perhaps he had a fever!

[Strayboy74]

Ok...
the drama llama was cute.

Anyway, I digress...  We're all part of the light, and I love each and every one of you misguided dumbasses. (I love the word dumbass!) 

-joseph
The biggest dumbass of all!

[Iggy]

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[thunter34]

i love joseph's new avatar.

[Strayboy74]

i love joseph's new avatar.

then why don'tcha marry it? LOL

[Miss Philicia]

lawl

[Iggy]

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[Miss Philicia]

I urinated on a Catholic priest once.

[Iggy]

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[Tucsonwoody]

LOL - now we're talking real family values.  This is one thread I am glad to see hijacked - thanks guys!

[Iggy]

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[lydgate]

I urinated on a Catholic priest once.

::gasps in pretend horror::

::is secretly delighted::

[Strayboy74]

::gasps in pretend horror::

::is secretly delighted::

YOU FORGOT

::titillated::

[Iggy]

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[Miss Philicia]

cute italian guy too... picked him up in a leather bar

and yes, my chaps are custom fit

[Iggy]

.

[Miss Philicia]

Dominicans rawk much more

[Iggy]

.

[Miss Philicia]

PLEASE NOTE:  Dominica and the Dominican Republic are separate places.

[Iggy]

.

[Miss Philicia]

Anyway, go up to Washington Heights and you'll find all you want.

[Iggy]

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[Miss Philicia]

please do not spread lies on the internet

[Iggy]

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[lydgate]

Wow, Iggy, you're on a brief post spreeeee tonight! 

[Iggy]

.

[Miss Philicia]

he's just fluffing his postcount++++++

[Strayboy74]

he's just fluffing his postcount++++++

You all have been a bunch of fluffers tonight.

[Iggy]

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[Strayboy74]

oooh  can we all just circle jerk/fluff each other?

HEAVEN'S NO!

This is a thread about FAMILY VALUES!!!

[thunter34]

Wow, Iggy, you're on a brief post spreeeee tonight! 

omg!  that's so totally crazy!  i was just now like completely noticing like the SAME EXACT THING  !!!  

WOW !!  

[Miss Philicia]

what can I say?  it's friday night and I don't have a date.

[thunter34]

me neither!  going to bed, kids!  nite nite

[lydgate]

what can I say?  it's friday night and I don't have a date.

I do. With my right hand. So much for family values.

[Strayboy74]

omg!  that's so totally crazy!  i was just now like completely noticing like the SAME EXACT THING  !!!  

WOW !!  

You, too thunter!!!!  weren't you just at 50 posts yesterday? LOL

[Miss Philicia]

me neither!  going to bed, kids!  nite nite

guess you'll miss the after hours party...

[Strayboy74]

guess you'll miss the after hours party...

yeah, and we invited Eldon!

[Mouse]

Even though this thread's gone off-topic turned into an AOL chatroom, I just wanted to mention some things.

Matty's prescence does not create problems. He addresses problems. It seems around here, when there are people acting immaturely and people are being harrassed, it's never spoken about. Instead, even though everyone knows it's going on, no one brings it up - no one has the guts to speak up and admit that something disturbing is going on and it should be stopped.

At least until someone has the guts to tell the rest of the group they're being assholes.

See, the thing is, people smelled the corpses rotting under the floorboards of Gacy's house but didn't say anything about it.

And, maybe I'm alone in feeling this way, but I think when you realize someone's being fucked with or some ridiculous bullshit is going on you should stop being a wuss and speak up - otherwise it gets worse and people that don't deserve to be abused get abused.

I'd like to see anybody argue that Eldon wasn't treated disgustingly. He's been absolutely, sickeningly sweet to every single one of you and all people do in response is tease him. I'm glad that there are a  number of people that feel the same way as I do about him because I've been disturbed by it for a while.

I don't know about the rest of you, but when a sincere human being offers his friendship to me, I don't talk shit about him.

[FiercenBed]

eeeekkk...issues. iv bn poking round here since november and feel completly in the dark. a rational summary please? who is eldon. and what goes on in toronto?

[fearless]

Squeak,
Love you kiddo. You're spot on as usual.
Stephen

[StrongGuy]

Eldon I hope you come back.

By staying away your just making those few (I stress few) people who want to silence you feel like they've succeeded (however twisted that may be).

I got your back (as do others I'm sure). The purists be damned -- we need diversity of opinion and people like you here.

Amazes me that oft times the people who speak as though they are liberal lions and proponents of progressive ideology are the first to try to control, dictate, sanitize and marginalize -- the antithesis of progressive tenets like diversity, fairness, equality, openess, the common good, and looking out for the little guy.

Don't give in to that crap Eldon.

Mikey