POZ Community Forums
Main Forums => Living With HIV => Topic started by: cpdh20 on April 18, 2010, 01:28:32 pm
-
hi guys, i just got back from a 4th date with someone and we both like each other alot, i told him about my status and he took it pretty well, he told me he knows its going to be really hard but he believes both of us will work things out, we havent had sex yet, i guess i am a bit scared and nervous and i am so afraid i would infect him, i am gay and had diagnosed with hiv about 4 months ago so i am quite new to this, is there anyone in here who has been in a " mix" relationship? can you pls share your experiences with me? any advice?
-
I was in a relationship with a neg guy awhile back. We had sex quite a bit (which was a lot of fun, no doubt). I always insisted he wear a condom when he fucked me. If you want to top him, the same applies. In terms of oral sex, its fairly safe, just no brushing or flossing within two hours of the act, otherwise the gums can bleed/open up and let germs in. Swallowing is actually better than spitting, as its sitting in your mouth for less time. Hope this covers it!
-
thanks odyssey, another issue is he has very sensitive hands skin, his fingers often bleed when they get too dry, maybe he needs to wear gloves when he touch me? i mean my penis etc....
-
thanks odyssey, another issue is he has very sensitive hands skin, his fingers often bleed when they get too dry, maybe he needs to wear gloves when he touch me? i mean my penis etc....
Hey buddy,
Have you had a chance to read the "Am I infected" or "prevention" section of this site? It may give you some good sound accurate advice on transmission.
Have a good day,
David
-
My partner is negative and we used condoms for the first few years. I have been undetectable for years now and he tops me bareback but if I am the top I were a condom. He has been testing for several years now and is always negative. We have been together in since 2003, I was also diagnosed 2 months before I met him so we actually went through all my medical issues together. He truly is my Mr. Wonderful.
-
Hey buddy,
Have you had a chance to read the "Am I infected" or "prevention" section of this site? It may give you some good sound accurate advice on transmission.
Have a good day,
David
He can ask those questions here in Living With. Am I Infected? is not for HIV positive people.
MtD
-
He can ask those questions here in Living With. Am I Infected? is not for HIV positive people.
MtD
Understood, however he was asking questions such as should his partner wear gloves when touching him with dry hands. Which is why I suggested he READ :) some of the information on how how HIV is transmitted so he does not get inaccurate information.
-
Understood, however he was asking questions such as should his partner wear gloves when touching him with dry hands. Which is why I suggested he READ :) some of the information on how how HIV is transmitted so he does not get inaccurate information.
The information in AMI is not really tailored for HIV positive people. How about we just link Van to the lesson on HIV transmission (http://www.aidsmeds.com/articles/Transmission_9960.shtml)?
:)
MtD
-
The information in AMI is not really tailored for HIV positive people. How about we just link Van to the lesson on HIV transmission (http://www.aidsmeds.com/articles/Transmission_9960.shtml)?
:)
MtD
Gotcha. I was only a bit concerned because he had seemed to be already getting some inaccurate information. Thanks David
-
Mutual masturbation is one of the safest methods of safer sex practices. The gloves are unnecessary: period.
-
Mutual masturbation is one of the safest methods of safer sex practices. The gloves are unnecessary: period.
Unless you're into fisting. Calving gloves anyone?
-
I've been fisting for almost 30 years and have never worn gloves. Call me crazy.
//Edited to add: Fisting is a safer-sex practice from the standpoint of HIV.
-
I have been in +/- relationships. You did a hard thing, telling him. So i don't think you face too many hard things on an everyday basis. Tell him he can talk about his concerns when he has them. If he wants to be educated cool, if not, dont press it too much - just the basics.
- So you have safe sex everytime. Thats the advice.
- And you could quietly find out where he could get PEP if there ever is an accident.
- If you are on HAART, you could explain your numbers that might make him feel better, or worse, depending on your numbers.
_ If you get a feeling that being with you is too "hard" for him, give it a college try but if it continues to be a problem then he's not for you.
- Don't accept lack of sexual fulfillment based on ignorant fears he may have, by the way.
You are not tarnished goods and deserved a good guy like anyone else.
-
Mutual masturbation is one of the safest methods of safer sex practices.
I don't think I've ever mutually masturbated in my entire life. It's akin to picking your nose in public.
-
I don't think I've ever mutually masturbated in my entire life. It's akin to picking your nose in public.
Honestly...If I have someone else there, jerking off isn't foremost in my mind. Another thing I've never understood is oral sex with a condom. I tried it once and only once.
-
i have been + for a year now and my partner is - we have sex all the time we just use condoms when we do , he has been there for me the whole time and he has been great
-
Honestly...If I have someone else there, jerking off isn't foremost in my mind. Another thing I've never understood is oral sex with a condom. I tried it once and only once.
I don't think I've ever mutually masturbated in my entire life. It's akin to picking your nose in public.
Ah! Those heady nights of dread and fear back in the 80s: don't miss 'em for a second aside from some of the music and some especially lovely Jean-Paul Gaultier espadrilles I bought at Otto in 1988.
-
My partner and I had tons of sex for 7 years before I knew my status. He remained neg. He never bottoms, so that may explain it--or just luck. We know tops are at much less risk. I've always wanted to ask on here how many people got it from being total tops. I know it happens, but think it must be really rare unless the top has some STD that makes it easier for them to get infected. There would be more risk if the bottom were to bleed from sex.
From seeing so many friends have one sex partner after another, I believe it is true that HIV is actually hard to transmit via sex. With 30+ million infected, it obviously happens, so you should still take precautions-- but don't wear hazmat suits.
-
I think if you are bottoming without using a condom for a top with a really high viral load, it's equivalent to playing a really unbalance game of russian roulette. In my mind this is the scenario in which most people get infected.
-
I think if you are bottoming without using a condom for a top with a really high viral load, it's equivalent to playing a really unbalance game of russian roulette. In my mind this is the scenario in which most people get infected.
Good point. Since learning my status, we do use condoms--however, I don't really even like to bottom much anymore. He does perform unprotected oral which does worry me since I'm not totally undectectable. I know it is a very low risk, but I still don't want to infect anyone. You hear some say it has never been documented, but other docs will say it does happen sometimes. He has a habit of biting his lip while eating. So I have to ask, "Have you bitten your lip lately? How long ago did you brush your teeth?" He insists on doing it. At first, I wondered whether he was doing it to try to not make me feel so tainted and diseased. He says he's studied the research and feels, like most, that oral is a very, very low risk.