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How do you feel about the person who infected you?Do you forgive them?

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I will agree Jeff. As I must admit I never gave it much thought that I was at risk of getting hiv. I was one of those who thought it was more for the gay guys.( I'm sorry I thought that way now) What is sad I worked in health care all my life and I really knew nothing about hiv I didn't even know  how it was spread to one person to another.. I think most remember in the early years where it was all over the news old out dated info.  People still have the same believe in the area. Thank God for this site and for my case worker and Id DR. They reassured me first of all I wasn't going to die from hiv. and I do have to make some life changes but not much  . I do know every time I had unprotected sex with a guy I had put myself at risk. I'm learning so much here . I wish I was brave enough to tell more people and explain to them what was in the 80 is no longer the truth about hiv. but I just can't right now. .......... maybe one day!

Cinnamon Dalia:
Oh, another interesting thread that has been abandoned for a while.

Actually, I never felt like I had to forgive him because he never lied to me and my husband (we got HIV from the same guy). Our sex life was risky and unfortunately, it happened, we got careless. But that's quite alright, really. We're still good friends with him because we're all adults and we're well aware we all made a mistake. But it's in the past and we can't change it, right? So why keeping hard feelings?

I can see, however, that some of you got HIV through very different circumstances and I admire all of you for being able to move on and not hold any grudges. I wonder if I could ever be that civilized if my situation had been different.

I do forgive him, as he too just found out he is pos, and thinks his life is over.

I do forgive him , he didn't know and he was diagnosed really very late and very poorly had he not have found out I would not have known. I was bitter for a while because I had always been careful never had sex without a condom etc It didn't occur to me that we should both test before trying for a family we were both happy healthy ( so I thought) and low risk.

It turned out he had it for a long time without knowing and eventually got poorly and despite not being in any of the at risk catagories he caught before we met and passed it to me.

This is a really interesting question!

I suppose I feel neutral about the person who infected me. I think this because ultimately I am accountable for my own actions.  The need to forgive them would infer they infected me with some sort of malice or intent. I am not really sure he knew his own status, so there isn't anything that I can see to forgive.

Maybe the better question for me would be, do I forgive myself? The answer to that is yes. I am only human.


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