POZ Community Forums
Main Forums => I Just Tested Poz => Topic started by: Hopelessgirlonly23 on April 04, 2012, 08:46:43 pm
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I took the mouth swab HIV test and it tested a faint positive. I am so scared. I dont know who to talk to, i dont know how to tell my boyfriend, we only had a few times and now would if he got it from me and i ruin his life. My heart hurts so bad ,i cant stop crying.
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worst day ever. I am so alone.
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The more I think about having HIV the more I dont want treatment. I dont want to live with this feeling or guilt. I am only 23, I thought I was doing everything right. I am so alone and it hurts and i am scared.
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In time, you will learn to accept it. Like you , Im still young , Im only 19 years old and Im on treatment, so get yourself treated if you wanna live longer, because nowadays treatment is very good and it can suppress the virus easily. Don't be worried and sad because the search for a cure is not that far anymore, it's not like 80's. Researchers and scientists are on their way for it, for the cure. So get yourself treated, be healthy, and pray.
TAKE CARE ALWAYS :)
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I just dont know how to live with it, how am i gonna tell people? I feel like a horrible person. I am just up with no one to talk to.. I cant even talk to my boyfriend without feeling guilty because I dont know how i am going to tell him... He's going to hate me. I've been praying on it and it helps for a little while but then i just get back to thinking again
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Hi hopelessgirl,
You're not a horrible person. There's also no reason to be hopeless, but every reason to be hopeful! You're the same person you were before the diagnosis, except now you also have an infection to manage.
Today, we have a near- normal life expectancy.
It is normal to feel low upon diagnosis, but in time this feeling should abate and you'll carry on with your life like you used to. It takes time to get your head around this news, so do take your time- but do realise that things will be ok.
Best
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Welcome to the forums, Girl.
I merged the thread you started in the Living forum with the thread you started in the I Just Tested POZ forum. I would thank you to keep all your further posts in this thread until such time as you have been confirmed as hiv positive or hiv negative. I have a strong feeling that you are dealing with a false positive result.
I took the mouth swab HIV test and it tested a faint positive.
You need to know that as of right now, you have NOT been diagnosed with hiv. A faint positive on a rapid test is most likely a FALSE positive. False positive results can happen for all sorts of reasons - underlying (and possibly not yet diagnosed) autoimmune disease can cause them and so can pregnancy. Sometimes they just happen - and oral rapid tests are somewhat prone to false positive results.
You need to go to a doctor (or back to wherever you had the test done) and get more tests. You should have a blood test this time and if that is also positive, you need to have that confirmed with a Western Blot test. You can only be considered hiv positive if you have both a positive antibody result AND a positive Western Blot result.
It is also possible that you have been quite recently infected by your current boyfriend if you two have been having unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse. Sometimes faint positive results on a rapid tests are due to testing while your body is still creating antibodies - and there aren't quite enough antibodies present to create a strong positive result.
Whatever is going on, you absolutely need to have further testing done.
In the meantime, you don't need to tell anyone what's going on. All you need to do is to use condoms if you have anal or vaginal intercourse.
If what I suspect is true - that you have had a false positive - you need to use condoms anyway until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship and you have BOTH tested hiv negative together.
Go get further testing done, and good luck. Let us know what happens.
Hang in there. Even if you are hiv positive (as confirmed with both antibody AND Western Blot testing) it isn't the end of the world. It doesn't make you a bad person - it just makes you a person living with a virus. The flu is also a virus - I'm sure you'd agree that thinking someone with the flu is a bad person is silly, and the same applies to people with hiv. It's just a virus, it's not a judgement.
With today's treatments, you can live a full and happy life and you can even have children. Hiv will only destroy your dreams if you allow it to.
Please, please, PLEASE get the additional tests done that you need. Do it today or at the earliest possible opportunity.
Hang in there. Either way, you WILL be ok!
Good luck with your additional tests, and keep us posted.
Ann
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Thank you. I did have the blood test done and it wont be in til tuesday. My boyfriend and I had sex for the first time a almost a month ago and i didnt think i could be detected that fact. I am just scared and I cannot even sleep properly without feeling guilty. I am osrry for making posts all over I just needed someone to listen or tell me something. Thank you, I am just confused I wish the doctors could have explained it more to me.
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Yes, sometimes doctors seem to forget that a person needs information and reassurances. Sorry yours didn't take more time with you.
The vast majority of people who have actually been infected will seroconvert and test positive by six weeks, with the average time to seroconversion being only 22 days. A six week negative is highly unlikely to change, but must be confirmed at the three month point.
So yes, you could have been infected as little as three weeks ago and have a faint positive.
And you could very well be dealing with a false positive. It happens.
Hang in there and try to relax while you wait for your test results. I know, easier said than done, but all the worry in the world won't change the outcome.
Remember, whatever the results are, you WILL be ok.
Hiv isn't a walk in the park, but it's very manageable these days. If the result is negative, then at least you will now be more aware of hiv and the need for condoms with anyone you have intercourse with.
Hang in there, ok?
Ann
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I am trying to. I cant even eat I feel so sick just thinking about it. I will try and keep a positive outlook on it. thank you
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I went to a different place it was almost like a little office and i had them do 2 different tests the mouth swab and the blood pick one. They both were negative but i am nervous maybe it was like more low budget? idk I have to officially wait til tuesday for my blood test to come back. I am still scared
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Girl, that's great news. It means that the probability of you having hiv is very remote. As I told you several times yesterday - it sounded like you got a false positive.
Enjoy the holiday weekend and don't sweat Tuesday's results. I'm betting on another negative and so should you.
Ann
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Yeah I am trying to but I know theres still a chance so it doesn't really allow me to breathe easy. I know if it is negative I am going to ALWAYS use protection, and talk to my friends about how scary this experience is and not to put themselves in it. I am still freaking out but i am trying to be calm
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I am scared, I just cant stop thinking what if, what if its positive
how am i going to tell my family?
how am i going to tell anyone.
I still cant eat, i just feel sick.
I am so mad at myself, I am not stupid I know what protection is there for.
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I am startign to feel super light headed and like sick to my stomach like i want to throw up. Are those symptoms or am i just worrying myself sick? =[
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Girl, you're worrying yourself sick - and for no good reason. It's looking pretty certain you had a false positive.
Ann
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I am sorry
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theres only a 1.5 chance of a false positive.
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this officially been the longest week ever :(
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I know how much it is difficult to wait a result. I have the same case, let's pray for the almighty God. Let's pray strongly to get mercy. Be strong girl.
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I know how much it is difficult to wait a result. I have the same case, let's pray for the almighty God. Let's pray strongly to get mercy. Be strong girl.
Hopeless, I'm sure you meant well, but unless you've been confirmed as hiv positive, you should not be posting in this forum. If you are questioning your hiv status, you should ONLY post in the Am I Infected? (http://forums.poz.com/index.php?board=1.0) forum. Thank you for your cooperation.
Ann
Update on May 27, 2012... Hopelessguy is HIV NEGATIVE and has tested hiv negative out to eight months. He does not have hiv.
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Tomorrow I finally get the results.
I am so scared.
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Ann, am positive. I contradicted the virus just 4 months ago. I will write my detail story.
Hopelessgirl, wish you good result. May God be with you and come back with NEGATIVE result!.
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today is the day but the odds aren't looking too good
I am scared out of my mind.
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Girl, with those two negative rapid tests you've had, the odds are very much in your favour of getting another negative result today. Cut the drama and go collect your result.
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The westen blot did come back negative, I go back in 3 months to take another once since the time frame was so short.. sorry for being such an emotional mess. I seriously dont know what i would have done without this forum, kept me sane for the most part. Thank yall so much
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Girl,
Well, I hate to tell you I told you so, but, well, I did. Nevertheless, that's good, if not unexpected news.
I go back in 3 months to take another
You need to test at three months after your last incident of unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse to confirm your negative result. I expect you to continue to test negative.
I'm going to lock this thread - because you have not "just tested poz".
If you have further questions about hiv transmission or testing, please start a new thread in the Am I Infected (http://forums.poz.com/index.php?board=1.0) forum. I don't want to move this thread into that forum, because its anxious tone and erroneous assumptions would only further inflame the already anxious members we have over there.
The Am I forum is the only forum you should post in now - and please make sure you read that forum's posting rules found in the Welcome Thread (http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=220.0) before posting. Thank you for your cooperation.
You need to learn from this and start using condoms from here on out until you're in a securely monogamous relationship where you've BOTH tested negative together.
Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:
You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.
To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.
Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.
Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.
If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.
Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.
Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!
Ann
edited for clarity