Unbelievably irresponsible, and freaking out

[changechw]

Hi,

Let me first start off by stating that I'm a bisexual college kid whose has had one too many sexual experiences within this year. All of the experiences have been with men, where three of them were monogamous relationships and seven others were hook-ups. It's extremely stupid of me to have done what I have done this year, and any excuse I could come up with is not going to help me if I were to seroconvert.

I've had unprotected anal sex once (it lasted a few seconds and wasn't anything) with a trusted partner. What would usually happen in a sexual encounter is just reciprocated oral, and this is with all 10 of the sexual partners I've had this year. As these were mainly hookups, half of them were one-night stands. I've never had multiple sexual partners at once.

What I'm really worried about is the risk I possess of contracting HIV (no condoms were ever used during oral sex). My last HIV tests were negative around January this year and early May. I'm going to be tested again in mid-September, as my last sexual encounter was around mid-June. Around this time, I developed a high fever of 102 for a day or two, along with some flu-like symptoms. A week later, I had a low-grade fever for a day.

I cannot begin to express how extremely irresponsible I was, and I'm working with a therapist who has opened up dialogue about hypersexuality, among many other underlying psychological issues. It's really been affecting me negatively.
I have a few questions:

1) If I do test positive, am I supposed to tell all of my sexual partners? These spanned from early September until June (2012-13). I can't remain in contact with most of these men, and I know it would end badly if I were to tell...
2) How does one go about asking someone's HIV status? Should you trust the person and take extra caution?
3) I've remained "celibate" for a few weeks now. Is there anything I can do to keep from relapsing?
4) If I test negative, when am I really "in the clear"? Is it after two consecutive HIV tests spanning half a year combined?


Any help will be appreciated at this point, and I thank you all for your time.

[Jeff G]

Hi Change . The only risk you have had is the unprotected anal sex , if your negative HIV test was 3 months past any unprotected anal sex ( or vaginal ) then you can count your HIV negative result as conclusive .

1) If I do test positive, am I supposed to tell all of my sexual partners? These spanned from early September until June (2012-13). I can't remain in contact with most of these men, and I know it would end badly if I were to tell...

You are responsible for having protected sex every time to protect you or your partner , HIV or not . Disclosure of ones HIV status is too complicated to delve into right now , especially since you haven't tested positive for HIV . 
 
2) How does one go about asking someone's HIV status? Should you trust the person and take extra caution?

Just ask or tell them yours . You must consistently use condoms for vaginal or anal sex every time no matter what someone says about their current status .   

3) I've remained "celibate" for a few weeks now. Is there anything I can do to keep from relapsing?
 
Seriously ? . Have as much protected sex as you want , life is short , enjoy it .

4) If I test negative, when am I really "in the clear"? Is it after two consecutive HIV tests spanning half a year combined?

The window period for testing is 6 weeks past any possible exposure and again at 3 months to confirm the results .

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!