POZ Community Forums
Main Forums => Someone I Care About Has HIV => Topic started by: thunter34 on December 26, 2006, 01:11:58 pm
-
Peter and the Mod Squad:
I am interpreting this new forum as a good connection place between poz and neg groups, too- not just for concerned neg people to talk amongst themselves. Am I right or wrong in that? As in...I could see someone who has a poz loved one in their lives coming forth to pose questions about how to approach subjects or deal with certain circumstances, and having those of us on the poz side step forth with our take on how best to go about it. Rather, give advice on how we as poz people would receive such statements or actions on their part. As a way of us helping each other with any potential awkwardness around certain situations and avoiding dancing around subjects. Learning to help without overstepping bounds and such. Perhaps one might brand it 'Miss Manners for the High Five Set'. Am I making sense here? If so, what is your take on that?
Tim
-
Tim,
It is only partly that. This is also a place where people who are close to someone who is "living with" can talk to each other about the issues they face that we might not fully understand, just as we have issues they might not fully understand.
For example, we may be able to understand and tell them about what it feels like to be constantly asked "are you ok?", but maybe they need to talk to others who are also anxiously asking that question, instead of us. Does that make sense?
Ann
-
Ann,
Yes, it does make sense. Yeah, I got that about a place for them to talk with one another (and I am all for it), I was just confirming that the part I was talking about above was, in fact, also a planned part of this new forum. I am hoping a lot of us on both sides will experience a whole bunch of, "Wow! I never thought about it like that..." moments here when we read perspectives coming from the other direction. At least, that is what I am hoping for on a personal level...and why I have every intention of keeping an eye on this forum.
Tim
-
Ann
"This is also a place where people who are close to someone who is "living with" can talk to each other about the issues they face that we might not fully understand, just as we have issues they might not fully understand. " quote Ann
Thank you Ann. This is so important! The first support group I attended (for example) was one for "Lovers and Friends of People With AIDS" as at the time I was trying to learn how to be a caregiver to my partner who had "AIDS". It was very very important and beneficial for everyone in this group to be able to express fears and concerns away from the ears of the "AIDS" patient. It is a sad day that we have come to when support groups do not exist for everyone who has need of one. But AIDMEDS certainly does act as a support group for many people. I hope for this forum will fulfill its mission.
-
Yeah! Well said, Bear! I do have high hopes for this forum as a benefit for the caregiver people you are talking about...addressing issues for themselves that are off of our 'poz' radars. I just wanted to kind of promote the point that we poz folks would likely do well to check in on this forum ourselves now and again...because we might just have our eyes opened to a lot that we don't see, and we might be able to post something now and again that could help the loved ones and caregivers see things in a new way also. I'm just seeing the potential for all kinds of benefit for everyone all around.
-
WHOA! I almost missed something important in Bear's post: He said, "It is very important and beneficial for everyone in this group to be able to express fears and concerns away from the ears of the 'AIDS' patient."
That's really what I am getting at: I think this forum can serve as a great place for some of us to step forth as proxy people for the 'AIDS patients' from time to time....and vice versa, if it might shed a little light on some situation in a beneficial way. Like...if they have a concern gnawing away at them but are concerned about vocalizing it to the 'ears of the AIDS patient'. Other caregiver could share their experiences on that issue, but there might also be a place in such threads for us pozzies to say something on the issue.
-
The whole subject of feelings is one of the most neglected in the epidemic. The emotions of those who are living with HIV and those who are variously connected to them, whatever their HIV status often go unnoticed or not sufficiently respected.
In general we're encouraged to pop pills all too quickly to change the feelings we have rather than live with them, learn to tolerate them and to not be ashamed of having them. Having those feelings doesn't mean something is wrong. It means we're alive and we're having reactions and thoughts to situations, and sometimes it's a complex mix.
Now someone may say, yah but what about depression, don't you need to take something for that.
Being sad, angry, unhappy, frightened, feeling blue and lonesome, being excited, confused, isolated and many other feelings are by any means a sign of depression as such. They're part of how we are wired. And left by ourselves too often we feel as if there's something wrong with us for having those feelings. Or guilty about them if they're not exactly pretty.
So I'm very glad we have this new section. As Tim and others have pointed out this has the potential to be a real learning place for all concerned. Hopefully people will speak up about their specific situations and experiences which will help all of us.
-
I'm still miffed my suggestion of a forum for "Someone I think is a rat-bastard has HIV" wasn't eagerly accepted. A forum like that could be very beneficial.
Boo (hoo hoo)
-
Don't sulk, Boo. Your idea hasn't been forgotten.
We're just looking to create the proper banner for it and a very special place of its own.
-
Thank you, Andy. I'm happy to know AIDSmeds is willing to accept bold new concepts that deal vitally with the world of the HIV affected.
I'll gladly be a moderator for the new forum when it's implemented to take some of the heat off of you and Ann.
Boo
-
I'm still miffed my suggestion of a forum for "Someone I think is a rat-bastard has HIV" wasn't eagerly accepted. A forum like that could be very beneficial.
Don't be surprised if you get an influx of members from Richmond writing thread titles like, "This asshole I know named Benj has HIV, and I laughed and laughed and laughed."
It'll make me proud. So proud that I might start a parade for myself.
-
Andy
I agree with you.....I'm thrilled that I found this site as well as the forums. I feel really comfortable
that I can come on the boards and share with others. I hope that this particular forum will gain more and more popularity among those who are pos as well as those who are in whatever way connected or affected
by HIV or AIDS.
Keep the posts coming!
Peace & health! ;D
-
The whole subject of feelings is one of the most neglected in the epidemic.
I so definitely agree on this Andy! I work in the DDP Health Care field and well it gets rough from time to time. Usually it is because of exactly that people will ignore their feelings or are told they are not valid for whatever reason. Feelings are definitely important. They effect/affect (currently can't remeber the right one to use). Thank you for saying that so brilliantly!
dragonrainsd