komnaes:
You were so annoying David. You insisted on putting on drag whenever we went out together on Friday nights, and I told you the Asian boys would never go for that. You didn't listen.
You were also very annoying because you were my first best friend to tell me that you'd AIDS. I didn't know how to react, and for a whole week you were mad at me for not being more supportive. What did you expect? I was only 19 and knew nothing about it. Like everyone else we thought you were going to die quickly and painfully. We were scared. We didn't know what to tell you when you declared that you would not poison yourself with AZT, and then that summer of 1992 you asked me to go to Europe with you. You said it would be your first and last trip overseas.
I still don't know why I would promise to go with you. I wanted to see London and Paris, yes, but I also knew anything could happen to you. But the trip was magical. We had so little money. We had to sleep in train stations many nights, a few times you "pimped" me out so we could find places to stay (while I was getting blowjobs by elderly men while you slept on their sofas), we slept in those 24 hours saunas in Amsterdam, we got high in their cafes, we saw real Van Gogh's paintings for the first time and we did everything fun so you could forget that you had the virus. I never did.
When the new semester started you went missing. You didn't leave a note, just gone. Your parents called me and came looking for you, thinking we were "lovers". I was so mad at you at the time - they were so scared that they started yelling at me and I had to report to the police station a few times. I expected the worse but it was a haunting experience. For months, when my phone rang, I would hope that it was you, finally calling back and telling us that you were fine andhad started receiving some cares somewhere safe.
Then finally they found you, in Yosemite.
What did you do for that few months we still don't know. For years I can only hope that you were having a great time before you decided to go to that beautiful place to end it all.
I don't know how many of us - your friends, your family - still think of you constantly. You were such an accident waiting to happen. But then so was I. I sometimes think I was living my life for both of us. For the last 15 years I would still once in while think, "What would 'Doris' say?"
So what would you say now to me, "Doris"?
It was today 7 Feb in 1993 that they found you.
May you have peace in Yosemite.
Shaun
mjmel:
That was a most outstanding tribute to David a.k.a. Doris, komnaes. Just had to say it was was wonderful, touching read.