Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
March 28, 2024, 11:06:37 am

Login with username, password and session length


Members
Stats
  • Total Posts: 772945
  • Total Topics: 66310
  • Online Today: 379
  • Online Ever: 5484
  • (June 18, 2021, 11:15:29 pm)
Users Online
Users: 1
Guests: 353
Total: 354

Welcome


Welcome to the POZ Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

  • The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own physician.

  • All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

  • Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators of these forums. Click here for “Do I Have HIV?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ community forums.

  • We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are true and correct to their knowledge.

  • Product advertisement—including links; banners; editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ.

To change forums navigation language settings, click here (members only), Register now

Para cambiar sus preferencias de los foros en español, haz clic aquí (sólo miembros), Regístrate ahora

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the symbol in each box.

Author Topic: I really want to give up. I can't win  (Read 5489 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline tippytu

  • Member
  • Posts: 125
I really want to give up. I can't win
« on: October 15, 2017, 04:02:23 pm »
I can't remember when I was here last. I lost my last job because my ex husband had his gf call and tell my work I was positive. I've tried to get help with the EEOC but they do not even call back or answers emails. My ex called CPS on me because I had to leave my 12 & 4 year old alone for 2 hours so I could work. My mom was going to watch them but my grandmother went into heart failure so she went with her.  I know my ex told CPS I'm positive they were asking me about my medical conditions and my medications to which I told them I was protected by HIPAA and that was not their business! I am alone I am depressed I have no insurance and no way to get medication. I have no one to talk to and no one to help me. I'm never going to be loved. What is the point of living if I'm always going to be struggling and fighting?? I don't know how much more I can take

Offline Ptrk3

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 2,792
Re: I really want to give up. I can't win
« Reply #1 on: October 15, 2017, 04:12:45 pm »
I'm sorry to read that you continue to struggle with hard times and depression.

Please seek assistance from any local mental health organization and from any local social agency that can help regardless of ability to pay.  They do exist.

If that fails, and you feel like your are going to harm yourself, please go to the closest hospital emergency room.

Unfortunately, not much more that that can be done for you over the internet.  You need face-to-face assistance to help you get through these dark days.
HIV 101 - Basics
HIV 101
You can read more about Transmission and Risks here:
HIV Transmission and Risks
You can read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
You can read more about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read more about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
You can read more about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline tippytu

  • Member
  • Posts: 125
Re: I really want to give up. I can't win
« Reply #2 on: October 15, 2017, 04:20:43 pm »
There is no help in the area I'm in. I just wanted to vent. I'm scared, tired, lonely, depressed and have 3 kids depending on me... maybe they deserve better

Offline Jim Allen

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 22,262
  • Threads: @jim16309
    • Social Media: Threads
Re: I really want to give up. I can't win
« Reply #3 on: October 15, 2017, 04:30:06 pm »
Really sorry to hear that you are going through rough times. I know how it is to loose a job that way and to worry about the kids, its a world of weight on the shoulders I know.

My ex did the same to me BTW.  Are you back into steady employment already ?

I know its a cliche but things do get better, you just need to find that first step forward.

Quote
maybe they deserve better

The only thing the kids want is their own loving mother.

Jim
HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
HIV 101
Read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
Read about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
Read about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

My Instagram
Threads

Offline Ptrk3

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 2,792
Re: I really want to give up. I can't win
« Reply #4 on: October 15, 2017, 04:32:01 pm »
You're always welcome to vent here on these forums.  I do hope that you can find some support here to guide you through these difficult times.

Please continue to post here, if it helps you get the support you need.

Please, too, keep us informed of your ongoing developments.  People here do care about you and are willing to read your story and keep you in their thoughts.

I know it may not seem this way to you now, but things do and will get better for you.  You are strong and you are a survivor.
HIV 101 - Basics
HIV 101
You can read more about Transmission and Risks here:
HIV Transmission and Risks
You can read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
You can read more about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read more about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
You can read more about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline tippytu

  • Member
  • Posts: 125
Re: I really want to give up. I can't win
« Reply #5 on: October 15, 2017, 06:30:55 pm »
I'm so tired of fighting...so scared I'll never find love again. So scared my life is going to be a constant struggle and I'm going to be alone forever

Offline lightalltheway

  • Member
  • Posts: 159
Re: I really want to give up. I can't win
« Reply #6 on: October 16, 2017, 02:30:18 am »
Being alone is better than being with the wrong person who cause so much headache. When we are alone, we can spend time developing ourselves to become a better version of "us" yesterday.

You are not alone, we are all here for you.

Prince

Offline tippytu

  • Member
  • Posts: 125
Re: I really want to give up. I can't win
« Reply #7 on: October 16, 2017, 09:37:24 am »
I really just need a physical touch someone to hold me.

I dont know how to do quotes but no I haven't found a permanent job yet

Offline PittGurl

  • Member
  • Posts: 351
Re: I really want to give up. I can't win
« Reply #8 on: October 17, 2017, 07:40:17 pm »
tippytu   i have been where you are many many times.... it hurts to your core....the being alone and feeling like it may never ever change.... you and only you can pull yourself up and reach outta that pit for your kiddos...that my friend..is not the person you want your kids to remember you for, you are no quitter- not now and not ever....every day find one thing you can do to push thru your life...and its prob going to be those kids.  I know you can do it....because i do it everyday the past 2 years...and mostly alone.  This is the time where you find strength where you thought you had none. Your children need you- you are their blood, their family, their lifeline....  dont worry bout no one else but you and your kids. I dont know if you believe in God....but try to read 1 Psalm a day...Psalm 23 is great comfort when no one has been there for me, God has.
Infected ~5/16/15-7/19/15
8-2-15    CD4=286; VL=43800; 15% WB Pos Test Confirmed (waiting for genotype to start Triumeq)
9-4-15    Started Triumeq thanks to the people on board encouraging me :)
9-21-15    CD4=570; VL 26; 30% 16 days on Triumeq….
10-27-15   CD4=522; VL=UNDETECTABLE!!!; 29%    7 wks, 4 days on Triumeq
1-28-16    CD4=479; VL=UD; 31% almost 5 mo on Triumeq
4-27-16    CD4=580; VL=UD; 32%
7-28-16    CD4=991; VL=UD; 38% almost 1 year on Triumeq
8-3-16    ONE YEAR DX
10-27-16    CD4=765; VL=UD; 39%
3-8-17   CD4=709; VL=27; 39%
7-13-17   CD4=942; VL=UD; 41%
10/12/17   CD4=626; VL=UD; 39%
1/21/18    CD4=650; VL=UD; 40%
4/26/18   CD4=893; VL=UD; 39%
8/9/18   CD4=858; VL=UD; 41%
12/27/18   CD4=841; VL=UD; 41%
4/24/19   CD4=751; VL=UD; 39%
8/27/19   CD4=719; VL=UD; 36%
10/31/19   CD4=746; VL=UD; 37%

Offline Almost2late

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,447
Re: I really want to give up. I can't win
« Reply #9 on: October 18, 2017, 08:52:17 am »
Hi Tippy, really sorry you're still wrestling with this issue.. I do wish you all the strength to deal with your problem.. I think pittgurl is giving you some really good advice here. I know you're hurting but do it for your kids, stay strong for them no matter what comes your way.. and please be kind to yourself. Wishing you find some relief from your troubles.

Offline zach

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,586
Re: I really want to give up. I can't win
« Reply #10 on: October 19, 2017, 06:22:57 pm »
Venting is encouraged here tippy, we all love you.

I say this from that love. I think you need mental health care, and there is no shame in that.

I've had depression since high school, more than half my life now diagnosed bipolar. With therapy I learned skills/tools that help me cope. For awhile I was medicated, and short term meds are great to stabilize an episode.

You seem to go through depressive cycles, and thats an indication of an underlying issue.

I hope you're able to reach out for help with it, that first step is the hard one.

For what it's worth, I've always got a big virtual hug for you. We're all in this together, we all face similar challenges.

Offline em

  • Member
  • Posts: 691
Re: I really want to give up. I can't win
« Reply #11 on: October 25, 2017, 01:42:45 am »
it has been a few days

how are you doing?

sending a Ehug your way  in hope things are getting better

all my best to you

Offline OneTampa

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,021
  • "Butterflies are free."
Re: I really want to give up. I can't win
« Reply #12 on: October 25, 2017, 12:16:27 pm »
Tippytu,

Hoping you make it through this tough life challenge.

Just remember that you are gaining strength and building a strong foundation for you and your children.

Many of us have been through and continue to go through rough patches and live to tell the tale.

I have dealt with quite a bit that I've not posted on the Boards here. Yet each day, I try to remain mindful of things for which I should be grateful.

Sending You A Cyber....



Please Take Care,

OT
« Last Edit: October 25, 2017, 12:19:48 pm by OneTampa »
"He is my oldest child. The shy and retiring one over there with the Haitian headdress serving pescaíto frito."

Offline Hamza_khan

  • New Member
  • Posts: 1
Re: I really want to give up. I can't win
« Reply #13 on: October 27, 2017, 07:06:02 pm »
This is my email adress : EMAIL ADDRESS REMOVED BY MODERATOR
Contact me there i hope it will be life changing for you
.........never give up God is always with you
« Last Edit: October 27, 2017, 07:58:35 pm by Ptrk3 »

Offline Ptrk3

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 2,792
Re: I really want to give up. I can't win
« Reply #14 on: October 27, 2017, 08:01:22 pm »
Hamza_khan:  I have removed your (essentially) duplicate post and have removed your email address.

This forum is for those infected by HIV and those who support them.

Do you have an HIV infection?  If not, please do not post in these forums again or you will be banned.
« Last Edit: November 03, 2017, 11:00:21 pm by Ptrk3 »
HIV 101 - Basics
HIV 101
You can read more about Transmission and Risks here:
HIV Transmission and Risks
You can read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
You can read more about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read more about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
You can read more about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline JosephP

  • Member
  • Posts: 318
  • Keep looking FORWARD... Dx'd 8/10/2013...
Re: I really want to give up. I can't win
« Reply #15 on: November 03, 2017, 10:46:39 pm »
I really just need a physical touch someone to hold me.

I dont know how to do quotes but no I haven't found a permanent job yet

 :) :) Sorry you are going thru these difficult times! Since I don't know where you are, the closest physical hold I can give you is a "virtual hug" thru the screen!
Today January 20, 2020, I have taken 2378 pills of my ARV since first pill. This means 79 bottles of 30 pills of ARVs at an average of $3950 per bottle or $313,103 USD for my treatment. I have a compliance of 99.83% taking my meds and only .17% (or 4 pills) non-compliant. Of these four pills two I forgot completely, One I lost and one I didn't have with me while traveling! I became UD 3 months after treatment start   ***We are all dealing with this. And we will live long and productive lives!! AND, yes the Lord is my shepherd. Life is good... And thanks for the meds! ***

Offline den2542

  • Member
  • Posts: 47
  • Life is what you make it, so make it good
Re: I really want to give up. I can't win
« Reply #16 on: November 19, 2017, 12:22:44 pm »
Tippy and all. I empathize and have been thru the same situation regarding the HIV thing. When I filed for divorce it was bc of emotional abuse. When it was clear that the ex was not going to win, she got s lawyer and decided to counter sue, and brought up my HIV on the witness stand. Now I was one who kept that away from everyone and for my ex to do that was vindictive. I wrote my own divorce doc and specified that she was enjoined or prohibited from ever sharing my medical status with anyone except a doctor or clergy because it could be harmful to the best interest of the kids wellbeing. Things to consider in this case are the kids and slander or defamation. I'm no lawyer but you gotta fight back logically.

 


Terms of Membership for these forums
 

© 2024 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved.   terms of use and your privacy
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.