Worried married man from India... so scared

[Rickysamson]

Hello everyone,

I am a married man from India. I probably did biggest mistakes of my life.

I was on a business trip last month and had few episodes of massages from Thai girls. Each time they gave massage to me, fingered my ass and gave unprotected oral. I did not perform any oral to any of them.

After going through this forum, I understood that this forum's stand on this is no risk as far as these activities are concerned.

My only concern is now, is there any scientific reason for this forum members undoubtedly say this is no risk. Sorry may be I am being paranoid. I have returned to India but scared to continue sex with my wife. Not sure what to do now? I am hell scared.

Also, when you guys say that hiv will not be transmitted even there is tainted blood from gum dieseas. Why is that? Isnt the blood infectious and will be transmitted while bj? I know salive kills the hiv but how effective is that? There are so many confusion on this among mannnny. It will be great if you please clear all these I mean what is the science that you guys clearly ignore the risk?

Thanks in advance.

[Jim Allen]

Hiya

I am a married man from India

I have returned to India but scared to continue sex with my wife. Not sure what to do now? I am hell scared.

Firstly if you have been or are planning to engage in unprotected intercourse with your partner this would as example meet all the biological conditions needed for acquiring HIV. Its the main transmission route globally.

Now I don't judge couples that decide to engage in unprotected intercourse, it's often based on trust within a relationship, however, just note this trust or faith does not prevent HIV and any unprotected intercourse is simply accepting a possible risk to you of acquiring HIV.

It would be wrong of me not to point out this obvious HIV risk to you, so test regularly, understand your risks.   

I know salive kills the hiv

that you guys clearly ignore the risk?

We don't ignore risks and, I don't tolerate flamebait postings/comments here! Don't post again, I mean it!

To correct your posting and to offer clarity, saliva does not kill HIV.  More accurate would be, HIV has an outer protein/receptors that are needed to remain infectious and they corrode in contact with saliva, so it can no longer infect.

There are other reasons why getting your penis sucked is not an HIV risk, lack of quantity, hostility of the month, small target surface area, etc though with Saliva alone despite trace fluids and blood etc that do happen during this sexual act from time to time, its not a HIV concern and it makes perfect sense that after nearly 40 years of this pandemic in terms of BJ's there hasn’t been a single documented case of HIV transmission to an insertive partner (the person being "sucked") and you will not be the worlds first.

Now If you beat someone to a bloody pulp requiring urgent medical care or stabbed them in the mouth leaving gushing blood & requiring medical care than, or an extream event like this before the BJ than let me know and ill be happy to discuss theoretical risks that have never before happened. Otherwise move on as stressing about something that has never happened from one of the most studied viruses known to humanity whilst we understand the barriers to this concern is just irrational fear.

To be honest, if you flipped the situation and was giving someone a blowjob I would be telling you it's a near negligible risk that does not require additional testing outside of your normal routine yearly screening   

As for the assessment well there is a lot of misinformation and stories on the internet and lots of opinions or outdated data that get passed around as facts, We, however, rely on the latest scientific peer-reviewed science for our assessments that also gets fed back into the poz pages and great effort is put into ensuring the message is clear.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid HIV infection:
Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, every time, no exceptions.  Consider starting PrEP as an additional layer of HIV prevention going forward.

Keep in mind that some sexual practices which may be described as safe in terms of HIV might still pose a risk for transmission of other far easier to acquire STI's, so please do get fully tested regularly and at least yearly for all STI's including but not limited to HIV and test more frequently if unprotected intercourse occurs

Also, note that it is possible to have an STI and show no signs or symptoms and the only way of knowing is by testing.

Kind regards

Jim

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[Rickysamson]

Hi Jim,

I am really sorry if I my post was offensive. I DID not mean it.
All I wanted to mean is that if the giver has gum dieseas and she was bleeding, does not that increase the risk for the receiver?

Sorry that you felt otherwise.

Its just my fear and I really want to move on from this fear.

Thanks

[Jim Allen]

Well, you have the answer.

Jim

P.S as it's worth repeating.

Keep in mind that some sexual practices which may be described as safe in terms of HIV might still pose a risk for transmission of other far easier to acquire STI's, so please do get fully tested regularly and at least yearly for all STI's including but not limited to HIV and test more frequently if unprotected intercourse occurs

See HIV is incredibly fragile and, difficult to transmit requiring very specific conditions and you had no risk for HIV transmission from the massage, fingering & blowjob, although it is, of course, a risk for far more infectious STI's that are more hardened against the environment or target different cells & routes like as example  skin-to-skin, skin to sore contact transmission and STI's that can live/remain in infectious in saliva so do get tested regularly