Re: Being supportive & understanding

[toshaa26]

I'm not HIV positive but I do know someone who is . she don't know that i know. How i found out is because my sister told me because her baby father is the person I'm talking about son and he told my sister that his mother have HIV, but i couldn't believe it. the reason why i say that because she still looks the same she just lost weight and she looks good. I'm just wondering should i tell her I know or just keep it to myself because i will still be there for her regardless because she is like a mother to me and i love her.

she didn't even tell her daughter my sister and i spent the night over her house one night while she was at the hospital and we just well my sister came out and ask her do her mother see this Doctor because my sister know what this doctor do because she is a medical assistant and sometime the doctor come to her clinic to see people that have HIV and plus he have another office in another area where we live and she said her mother goes there.So her daughter began to cry because she said she did see a paper with her mother name on it and it had HIV p0s+ but she blew it off because her mother never came and told her personally. However she said she had a feeling because of th meds she's taking because her mother ask her to look up some of the meds in her medical assistance book to see if they would effect her in anyway. She said she knew her mother had to tell her oldest brother because one night about 3or 4 years ago he came from out the room crying badly and her brother rarely cry and probably her aunts out in Florida, but she don't know why she didn't tell her and her oldest sister yet.

 do you think i myself or her daughter should talk her her about this or let it be. Please help I'm in shock and hurting.

[Ann]

Hi Tosha,

I put your post in its own thread so you'll get more replies. You posted it in the middle of some else's discussion. Please have a look at our  Welcome Thread so you can familiarise yourself with our posting guidelines.

Thanks!

It just goes to show that you can't tell by looking at a person whether or not they have hiv. We who live with hiv are your neighbours, your friends and lovers, your parents and children. We could be standing next to you in the check out line. We could be your lawyer or your teacher. We could be you. We are you because whether you know it or not, you live with hiv too. Someone who touches your life in some way will be living with hiv infection - whether you know it or not.

We might not choose to share our hiv status with you. Many of us are afraid and with good reason. We never, ever know how someone is going to treat us until after we've told them. If a person reacts badly, we have to live with the consequences. We cannot un-tell.

Tosha, if your sister's boyfriend's mother wants you to know she has hiv, she'll tell you. She may, in time, when there is a bond of trust between you. Until then, treat her like the person she's always been, and treat her with the respect due any human being.

Good luck,
Ann

[toshaa26]

Thanks for replying it was my first time on and i didn't know how to put my own post on but thank you again and you r right i should wait to until she tells me but until then i'm still going to be there for her because i got so much love for her .

[Ann]

Hi Tosha, I was hoping you'd come back.

Just keep loving her and being there for her. As a bond of trust develops, she may feel she can tell you.

And you're welcome (for my moving your post). I know the first time on a forum can be a little confusing.

Ann

[toshaa26]

well Ann i did ask her but she said she don't have that so i will just let her be and wait until she tells me but i will stay by her like you said and thank you again.

p.s i hope you don't be offended by what I'm about to ask you but do you have hiv if so i just wanted to ask you some questions please reply back