New to Canada... almost

[cloverfield]

so I wanted to share my story so far, after a year of being diagnosed, and also to start to talk with other poz people, i haven't disclosure it to any other person other than docs, and two other persons, and sometimes I feel like I need to share the stuff is going through my mind.

So, first of all, I'm from a sudamerican country, I came to Canada in 2014 on a working holiday,
about three month after my arrival I went to a free testing clinic, I had one of those quick test and came up positive
I just felt numb, I couldn't believe it was actually happening, I felt totally out of my body and everything that happen was somebody else, like i was watching a movie
they took some blood for a confirmation test. That day I went back to my place, and cried until I fell sleep.
the next morning I called one of my best friends who is also positive, he tried to calm me down and make me feel better about the thing, after all he is been poz for more than 25 years now.
three days later I got the final results, were positive again, and at that point I thought I was more used to the fact.

but nop, I tried to ignore all the facts, and keep doing my life for a couple of weeks until one day it hit me and the whole thing was too much to believe, I went again to get another quick test, some part of me was hopping that for some weird reason
both previous test were wrong. but they weren't. it came positive again and I finally sort of stopped being in denial.

i tried to get a doctor, but without being Canadian or permanent resident it took me a lot of work to get a specialist to check me for free...
I wasn't working at the time, so no money for expensive tests, travel insurance wouldn't cover the lab test or doctor check-ups.
so finally thanks to the intervention of Planned Parenthood I got a spot in a community clinic.

I got my first checks and they weren't very good, very low CD4 and high VL, so the doctor was kind of worried, they got the type of virus tested and other stuff to see the resistance of the virus, but it came out well,
so he said that probably I been putting myself under too much stress and my body was weakening it self, so I had to start to relax, and he recommend also start medication.

Great!. medication. I'm out of my country, without any health coverage other than travel insurance, and now i had to find out how to get meds... Which are very expensive and not Totally covered under Ontario's health system for Canadians,
let alone for someone with Temporary residence.

by the way, by the time i got diagnosed, i was starting to go out with a really great guy, so when i got the results was like... great, I'm not even completely OK with the idea of being diagnosed, i was trying to process all this new shit that was happening to me, and also had to find out if telling the guy I was starting to date, or just let him go, and deal with my own stuff myself.

back to the medical part. they found out about a plan that would initially cover my meds. so i started this "newly approved in Canada" drug
who would be easier for my body, less toxic and much less side effects. so I started with Tivicay and Kivexa. and I must confess I have had almost non side effects
some very little dizziness at the beginning, only for a couple of minutes after taking the pills and only if i hadn't had food before taking it. Otherwise it was completely fine.

Back to the other part, I decided to tell this guy what happened, my first time disclosing someone about my status (other than doctors or poz people). at the beginning he was a little bit shocked of course, it is not something you might expect, but in general he said we should keep seeing each other, but he needed a couple of days to process the news.
long story, we are partners now, and he is one of my biggest supports on keeping my shit together.

so we have been together for more than a year, we love each other and we want to make a life together, so he is sponsoring me to become a permanent resident,
we will see what the future holds on store for us, for now we have to keep dealing with some stuff that came up in this halfway, transitional part of the immigration process.
the whole process might take over two years, and in the meantime, seems like I'm not gonna have any health coverage/meds from part of the "Standard" Health-care system,
we hope we could continue getting support from this special med-support-program. and also deal with other general health stuff and work stuff...

One of the things really stuck in my mind when the counselor gave me the results was:
"you have to be relax now, it is a tough news, but your life is gonna have very slights changes, but have hope, everything is gonna be alright"

It haven’t been easy so far, I’m still dealing with the fact I’m a poz person now, it is sort of giving me trouble with the immigration process and I've always been a very anxious person, which it is not good for my body... but deep in my heart I hope this is true, I hope this doesn't mess up my life, and I really really hope that everything is gonna be alright...

[sohotoronto]

What City are you in?