Horror

[Slickman]

I started to chat with a girl on a dating site. We met and she seemed very nice. we met again and kissed. on the third time she invited me to her place and we slept in the same bed. and on the next day. and the next day. And last two days she asked often me: "how do you feel?" and this morning I woke up and she was on my hand and as I woke up she threw herself away and pretended to lie there and sleep very deeply and not wake up. So i finally left to let her sleep and as I get out I see her looking at her window. And after some time, I realized that I had a typical wound on my palm from an injection needle, and I guess she wanted to hide that stuff under her.

 And I started to think more closely, she seemed to have kaposi's sarkoma looking thing on her wrist, and big swollen node near the clavicles and both of these she was hiding when she saw I was looking at them. And hiding parts of her body very much.  And I realized that she was lying a lot, like a pathological liar and on last night i noticed that she was awake all the time waiting to see when I sleep and told me that she had slept so well while I saw she was not. It seems that she was waiting me to be asleep for some reason. I feel so naive for listening to her explanations always when I felt that she was lying and believing her new stories, I guess I wanted to believe as it felt so nice after long time to have the company of a girl who smiles with you and seems to like you.

  And today morning I started to feel first some slight nausea when I woke up, and I went to hospital to ask for PEP as I was becoming more and more sure that she wanted to infect me and was positive person. Had to wait a long time there. And by the noon some swollen nodes in my groins I felt..spearing under armpits too, and hot skin.  I told to doctor all this and they ordered PEP treatment, measured my temperature and said it is little bit higher than normal. 13:30 I got vaccination for hepatitis B, and 15:30 the meds arrived and I got truvada and Kaletra and took them. the fevery feeling continues still now in the evening and while they said that the PEP should work but I cannot know if she had already injected me on the first time I was there, which was 3 days ago.

Now I just take the PEP medications, hopefully it will go well without too many adverse effects. But the fact that I today already some hours before I got those pills started to feel ill, swollen nodes and some temperature, it seems to suggest that it was too late start. 

I have been always a person to fear about many things and be careful. Actually HIV has been my number one fear since my first kiss, and I have made so many girls upset by asking if they can get tested as I have this strong fear. I have even got banned from this forum years ago after i continuosly feared this. And people tell me to accept that there are risks in life. In many years after I broke up with my ex, I haven't been interested in girls and when I finally decide to take more easily and not worry so much, and accept sleeping with someone together, something like this happens immediately.

I showed the wound to nurse and infectious diseases doctor and both agreed it looks like a typical needle wound. And the girl just denies all and tells me that she is worried that I have done something to her and she must go to hospital..very sad now. And I guess if I was injected her blood there might be other things coming too, hepatitis C among others, she said she never drinks alcohol..

[Jeff G]

You do not need PEP and I'm shocked that they didn't give you a referral for counseling or therapy . 

This is not anything to do with HIV and everything to do with your mental health so sadly my assessment is to suggest you get some therapy for your paranoia and phobia of HIV . There really isn't any thing other we can do for you here other than wish you well and hope you get the help you need .     

   

[Slickman]

I was actually thinking that how is it possible that I felt already some nausea when I woke up and also the needle mark was on skin where no big veins, where it would be not such risky according to the doctor.

 But I saw some mark on my left hand too, right there where a big vein goes under skin. But this mark was not so clear, so what I think is that she had done it the previous night when i fell asleep. And about 10 mm from the possible needle mark there is a hard lump, like a lymph node swollen. And the nausea feeling continues today too as I woke up.

I guess the PEP works during the "window period" normally because the virus doesn't spread that quickly in the body but as I was probably given injection of a blood of a person in the aids phase, some 36 hours before I got the meds, it was already too late as the ARS symptoms had started in the morning already.

[Jeff G]

Do you realize how absurd your scenario is , Blood in a syringe would only remain infectious for awhile so she would have to draw fresh blood and find a vein to inject into and not wake you up or make a mess in the process .

Seriously , you need to seek professional help for your phobias and in the mean time know that what you are suggesting is offensive , people living with HIV are damaged by absurd stories like yours because it creates fear and stigma .

[jkinatl2]

This is not a conversation that we need to be having. Your scenario is preposterous to such a degree that it demeans us all to engage in this speculation. I urge you to find counseling for your HIV phobia, and I also urge you to educate yourself about the virus.

I think we are pretty much done here.

[Slickman]

Please take  this seriously, I have serious questions.. all that I wrote above is true. I have explained exact details to other people of the situations and all agreed it sounds clear what she was doing there.

SO THIS PART CAN BE LEFT UNREAD AS IT IS JUST FOR THE SUSPICIOUS ONES WHO THINK IT IS JUST MY IMAGINATION. THEN CAN PROCEED TO THE THINGS I AM ASKING HERE AND WORRIED OF.

The morning a day before I went to the hospital, is when it must have happened. She was there when I woke up and suddenly started to give me a hand massage with lotion. I thought it was very thoughtful and nice but the real reason I realized as I saw the red dot on top of the vein and also on my shirt sleeve on the area which might contact the needle wound where the blood has been injected, there are blood stains.  I will save that one as there might be evidence for criminal investigation.

And also the fact that next morning I woke up to this strange feeling and i had on my other hand needle mark which doctor confirmed, I am sure she had to abort the operation and that's why she refused to move and pretended to be sleeping very deeply. And her son tried to distract me all the time, never before he wanted to talk with me but now tried to ask me to go to another room and wait there, and I realized he was always in the plan too. And right after I walked out, she was there in the window and I heard the kid talking as they watched me walk away.

SO WHY I AM FEELING UNEASY? well, I cannot do anything about this anymore. about 24 hours after the probably successful injection to my vein,  I started to feel the first symptoms on the morning I decided to go to hospital. It was nauseous feeling and some tiredness and slowness in my moves. In hospital I started to feel lymph nodes in my groins and arm pits, and on my left hand was a hard lump near the place where I later found the red dot on top of my vein and the blood stains on my shirt.  And hot feeling and nurse measured some temperature which is going up and down now for the second day, but not much,  about a degree more than my normal.

So naturally it feels that she has been successful. Actually she asked if I feel good just 2 hours before the attempt which she had to abort and I said I do, and that's why she probably wanted to try again.

**END OF EXPLANATION***


WHAT I FEAR? As she had Kaposi's Sarcoma, I was told it means she is in the aids phase. And this means also that there are so many viruses in her blood and so many different mutations entering my blood circulation same time when there is nothing in my immune system yet to stop it.

I read that the progression of disease is connected also to the amount of virus that gets into your body..and surely this was one of the worst ways to be exposed to it. And I read that in some cases the infection goes so quickly that already after seroconversion you are in the aids phase..so what I am saying here, is that I am really worried about this possibility. They took the baseline tests yesterday, which I guess is the Elisa/p24 antigen test, as the PEP should be done only if there is no previous infection.

 I am 100% sure I didn't have previous infection and also I realize that as I got this injection of blood and virus so much some 38 hours before tests and nodes had started to enlarge, it might already show in the test with the p24 antigen and they might STOP treatment on monday when they get results and think that it is an old infection and PEP doesn't help..but I think in this kind of situation where massive amounts of virus have entered circulation with no previous training from the immune system's part, then medication would be really helpful in stopping the massive attack and thus giving time for the immune system to react before the infection is too widespread.

I just don't know what to do..I feel my body..I see and realize what has happened, and I am not here to feel sorry for myself, just trying to figure out if there is anything to do in this kind of case. to be honest I wasn't too worried yesterday about the possible hiv infection..but when I think about the transmission route and how much different situation this is for my body compared to the usual routes of transmission, things start to feel much more severe! I tried to ask the doctor if I could have also integrase inhibitor, but he said that kaletra and truvada are already good ones and no change to standard plans are necessary.

[Andy Velez]

You have not had a for-real risk for HIV. We're not going to indulge any further nor can we be of any help to you. See a therapist or other professional to deal with your concerns.

If you come back here with more of this kind of unwarranted concern about HIV you will get a Time Out from the site for at least 28 days. HIV is not your problem. Period.