anal fingering with vaginal fluids - hiv infection risk?

[LMD]

hello everybody. first, thank you all for the great job you're doing here. since I've got afraid that i could have been infected I've lurked the forum trying to understand better if there's any chance I'm hiv positive or not.

now, my story: met a girl online, we both wanted to have sex (she have a pretty intense sexual life, or so she says), and we did it around 17 days ago... However, she was on her period, so we used condoms for both vaginal and anal sex. Just for the record, my penis touched her vagina (and some blood), but I've already seen here that it doesn't impose a significant risk for contamination, since my penis didn't had any cuts or so.

I've also fingered her, but my fingers are ok as well...

so you must be asking: "why are you posting it here, after all??". well, I'm into anal fingering, and she decided to do it on me. only after everything ended I've noticed that she certainly had some vaginal fluid and/or menstrual blood on her fingers...

i didn't noticed any blood on my anus, and her nails were cut very short, so she probably didn't cut me by accident. she used lube.

i know that the person giving the fingering has virtually no risk of being contamined. however, what about the person RECEIVING it? I've read somewhere (i think it was a Canadian government hiv-themed site) that the contact via the rectum mucous membrane is highly possible, if there's any amount of contamined corporal fluid. I'm not sure how much blood or vaginal fluid she had on her fingers, but she probably was masturbating a few moments before. also, the whole process lasted maybe less than 5 minutes.

by now (17 days later), i didn't showed any symptoms that some people have after being contaminated, like fever, rash, etc. only a small throat irritation on the last 2 days, but more likely because of excessive cold and raining in my town.

if it wasn't for the fingering, i would not be that scared... i am kinda desperate by now, and don't want to wait two more weeks before actually making a test... I've seen you guys help thousands of people before. please, help me as well.

best wishes.

[jkinatl2]

There is absolutely NO risk in the scenario you describe. HIV simply cannot remain viable long enough to transfer from vagina to finger to anus (vaginal fluid is NOT infectious, as you have probably read here by now. Infectious fluids in a female are found higher up in the cervical mucosa, and are pretty well impossible to access through anything but unprotected sex).

While I understand your concern about menstrual blood, it folloed the same recipe as any other porentially infectious fluid - the virus simply cannot remain viable long enough to lass from vagina to finger to anus. Between pH, temperature, and exposure to oxygen, HIV is a very fragile virus and difficult to transmit.

You used a condom for anal and vaginal sex, and that's all you need to do in order to avoid HIV. Other STDs are far more robust, but not HIV. In this situation you had no risk.

[LMD]

Really? I'm much more relaxed now. Thanks for your help

Just a quick follow up: in my case, even if the blood was fresh, the risk is still zero? There's any situation where risk would exist?

Best wishes.

[Ann]

LMD,

If a person cuts the tip of their finger off before they finger you, then you might have a problem.

In the normal course of things, fingering is NOT a risk for hiv infection for the fingered or the fineree. Fingering is NOT a risk for hiv infection!

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED TO TEST FOR HIV SPECIFICALLY OVER ANY OF THE THINGS YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann

[LMD]

Ok, Ann. Thank you for your fast reply.

I've just been a little bit more afraid since the girl told me today that she tested HIV+. However, it could only be a mean way to show me how pissed off she was, since she stopped talking to me, and said that she hated me forever. No, I didn't do anything to her, just asked her when she got tested for the last time... Seems she's a little touchy.

Anyway, since you both told me I'm most likely clean, I'm far more calm. Time to move on.

Once again, thank you very much. I'll probably do a full check-up now, since it's been some time since the last one I did.

Best wishes, and may God bless you all.

[Ann]

LMD,

I never told you you were "clean". How should I know when you last showered? I showered a few hours ago and I'm clean, and I'm also hiv positive. Using the word clean to describe someone's hiv status is offensive. Don't do it again.

What I DID tell you is that you did NOT have a risk for hiv infection.

I don't know if you're hiv positive or not - but if you are, you did NOT get it from being fingered or any of the other activities you're worried about.

If you've never tested and are therefore unaware of your current hiv status, go test. Not because of the NO RISK incidents you're worried about, but because you're a sexually active adult.

Getting routine sexual health check up is what responsible adults do to protect their health and the health of their sex partners.

Ann

[jkinatl2]

Two quick things:

You must never assume to know another person's status by asking them. They might not know. They might not feel comfortable telling you. They might lie. The might be very offended at the implications you may or may not be making with your vocal inflections and choice of words. It's a tremendously delicate conversation to have under the very best of circumstances.

And, for all the reasons I outlined, it's irrelevant and useless, along with being easily interpreted an an indictment of character.

Assume that every sexual partner you have is HIV positive with a whopping viral load and proceed accordingly. If your faith in HIV science is unsteady enough to disallow anal fingering (which is zero risk) or any other activity, then DON'T DO that activity until you are in a securely mutually monogamous relationship and have been tested together at the appropriate intervals.

So far, in this thread, you have mentioned that this girl "have a pretty intense sexual life, or so she says" and, when you recieved the angry retort when pressing for her status, commented, "Seems she's a little touchy."

I need you to understand that your behavior was inappropriate. Moreover, it pointless.

Beyond even that, it was needless, as nothing you did carried a scintilla of risk.