Will it get better?

[blackbeauty40]

Hello everyone,
I'm having a very hard time lately and feel so alone. The past two years have been very hard for me due to unrelated medical issues as well as family problems. More than a year ago, I stopped taking my meds because I feel like no one cares and the meds are just delaying the inevitable. My family wants nothing to do with me, I don't have any friends I can count on. I've tried to get into therapy but that hasn't worked out - I've been on waiting lists since May of 2018 with no movement at all. I don't know what to do. As I said, I feel so alone, unloved and isolated. Unfortunately, this is being made worse due to another medical issue that has come up. I don't know how much more I can deal with. I've always been there for others, but when I ask for help or even ask people to just listen to me, no one has any time. The other night, I got so depressed I even called a helpline, only to have them hang up on me.  How does everyone else deal?

[Jim Allen]

Hiya

I'm at work right now, but wanted to just let me you know that I'm sorry to hear about your pain and, I'll be posting more after work.

One question, when you say on the waiting list since May 2018, what for? Is that for therapy.

Best Jim

[fabio]

It always gets better no matter what you have,be it hiv or cancer or whatever other illness,do not give up.
It's important you see your hiv specialist and tell him you aren't on meds and that you need to start again,also check on to get recommended on a psychologist.
I know shit has bricked hard,but think of your loved ones if they lose you on something that could easily be prevented and managed with just a pill a day. Please do seek help,you will see that hiv is nothing compared to other non treatable things. Try to get help from a therapist as well,ok?

[blackbeauty40]

@Jim Allen, yes, the waiting list is for therapy.

@fabio, yes, definitely, things have really bricked hard, and I'm trying to handle everything on my own. There are not really any loved ones that would be concerned. As I mentioned, my family wants nothing to do with me. As far as a psychologist, I'm still on a waiting list.

[harleymc]

Well it certainly won't get better if you don't take your medications.

AIDS is a shitty way to die but if that's what you want .

[fabio]

Maybe you think people won't care,they will care. Your friends will care,your doctors will care. Like harleymc said aids is a shitty way to die. Please,do not give up and try to start medication again.

[CircularNatural]

Hey there, sorry to hear that you are feeling down. You are not alone
I've also been depressed since I got my diagnosis on Sept 2021. I'm still managing to come to terma with this, since I went through a long-term relationship break-up as well.
I'm currently starting to feel better thanks to antidepressant medication and CBT therapy (that I've just started).
You are not your depression (which makes you wanna just quit), you can manage to take control of it with the right help. Please take care and remember you are not alone we are here walking right next to you ❤️