Looking for advice … unprotected sex

[NateJones]

Good morning…first off, thank you to the administration for taking time to calmly respond to all of our inquiries. I know the main response here is going to be… “go get tested” which I totally understand and agree with - but I just would love to know if this virus would present like my situation…

I am a heterosexual male who in my late 30s who picked up a beautiful African-American waitress on a business trip. I see lots of posts on here where people say they used condoms or just got blowjobs - that is not the case here. Had unprotected sex in the hotel shower and then on the sink in the bathroom. This was back on May 18th. Fast forward to June 11th and I woke up in excruciating pain in my stomach. I have IBS and then thought maybe it could be a possible appendicitis. Urgent care quickly ruled that out and then she mentioned “possible urinary tract infection”. Things where my mind got nervous and I thought back to that hotel unprotected sex. I get a full urinalysis and STD check and those came back negative. Never thought about HIV at that time because I dealt with this a decade ago and the anxiety damn near killed me. I can’t believe I let this happen again.
Fast forward to now where I’ve been dealing with a bunch of the “classic HIV symptoms”. I’ve been exhausted, yawning, fatigue all through day, random nausea, random headaches, on and off constipation and diarrhea, loss of appetite, and lower back pain (which is really starting to scare me). I kept trying to be positive until I got the “sore throat”.  I kept saying to myself during all of this “well at least I don’t have a sore throat or swollen lymph nodes”. Then went to urgent care 9 days ago and was diagnosed with strep and swollen lymph nodes in the neck which scared me.And I NEVER get sore throats. So now my anxiety is through the roof. Feel like I have every symptom on that job checklist now besides night sweats or rash. Hoping that’s a good thing?!? I also never had the “fever that will knock you down”.
I’m approaching three months since the sex. I’ve read so much literature which is adding to my anxiety. And yes, I know I need to go and get tested. I read that HIV can attack your stomach which it did to me. Would it do it within the month from the sex? Also, don’t the symptoms hit and then stop and not come back for years? Shouldn’t Also read, how a man only presented with lower back pain when he got diagnosed. Is that common? I’ve also been reading tons of stuff that men barely ever get it from women?
Please respond with kindness and what your thoughts really are. I know I need to get tested. But let me know if you’ve seen it presented like this. I’m really struggling with anxiety but these symptoms seem to keep adding up. I will get tested at the 3 month mark. Thank you all for your time.

[Jim Allen]

Had unprotected sex in the hotel shower and then on the sink in the bathroom.

Yes, excellent 👍. Totally an HIV risk but at least a half decent sex story for once.

Look I read your post three times, most people simply have no initial noticeable symptoms whatsoever and most of your symptoms have nothing to do with HIV and the rest isn't HIV specific. Please don't ask about them again.

You had a risk, test results matter, nothing else so to confirm your HIV status test at six weeks post-exposure with a blood-draw (lab) HIV antibody test. The result at 6 weeks will rarely change, and retesting at three months is generally unneeded.

Please respond with kindness and what your thoughts really are.

Next time use condoms to avoid this drama.

Here's what you need to know to reduce your HIV risks:
Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse correctly and consistently, with no exceptions. Consider talking to your healthcare provider about PrEP as an additional layer of protection against HIV and get vaccinated against HPV, Hepatitis A & B.

Keep in mind that some sexual practices described as safe in terms of acquiring HIV still pose a risk for other easier-acquired STIs. So please do get tested at least yearly for STIs, including but not limited to HIV, and more frequently if condomless intercourse occurs.

Also, note that it is possible to have an STI and show no signs or symptoms; testing is the only way to know.

Kind regards

Jim

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[NateJones]

Sore throat for almost a month now and really bad joint pain in left knee… does this change your mind at all Jim?

[Jim Allen]

No.

See your healthcare provider and get the knee and throat treated.

Look I read your post three times, most people simply have no initial noticeable symptoms whatsoever and most of your symptoms have nothing to do with HIV and the rest isn't HIV specific. Please don't ask about them again.

You had a risk, test results matter, nothing else so to confirm your HIV status test at six weeks post-exposure with a blood-draw (lab) HIV antibody test. The result at 6 weeks will rarely change, and retesting at three months is generally unneeded.

[NateJones]

I did - went yesterday (apparently no more swollen glands - which I guess is good) and she gave me another dose of antibiotics for my throat. Had strep the first time which scared me with swollen glands - went on July 23rd the first time.  Took the pills for 10 days - it got rid of the red spots on top of mouth and the real painful part of the sore throat. Fast forward to now though and I still have a sore throat. No red spots though. Just read a story on Google about a TikTok star who’s an HIV+ male went into urgent care and he was told he had strep and later on he found out he had HIV. Which clearly has me scared. I can’t kick this sore throat 3 weeks later and I continually wake up with dry mouth. Scared to death. And to top it it off, the joint pain in my left leg is so painful and swelled up like a grapefruit. This after I had all of that power back pain out of nowhere. I’m reading how all of this can happen around this time in seroconversion. How joint and muscle pain is an overlooked first symptom. The sore throat, aching joint and back, and dry mouth have me scared. Also an urgent need to pee all the time. A little bit of pain in  armpits too. Checking for swollen nodes and can’t find them. I know you said my symptoms weren’t HIV specific but I don’t know how that’s true. I’ve still to date never had that brutal fever, night sweats, or rash. That’s the only thing keeping me somewhat positive. The longstanding strep and sore throat which won’t go away will continue to scare me because doctor has no answer really - but gave me another dose of antibiotics. Kind of like the TikTok Star

[Jim Allen]

TikTok...🙄 I dumped my toe the day before finding out I had HIV and cut off a piece of my finger by accident but it had nothing to do with my HIV status.

As for strep throat it is a bacterial infection that's highly contagious and common in adults and children regardless of HIV status. You have had it before in your lifetime and will again.

Your doctor has given you antibiotics to treat this infection, your throat will be sore for a while and if you have questions about this or concerns follow up with your healthcare provider or a different one if needed but stay away from TikTok or Google stories about it.

Checking for swollen nodes and can’t find them

Don't as you will only aggravated them.

You had an HIV risk, what is making you sick has nothing to do with HIV and to confirm your HIV status test six weeks post-exposure with a blood-draw (lab) HIV antibody test. In the meantime, no drama is needed.

Please don't post about this again, thank you.