Worried due to bruises + receptive oral

[mj simmons]

Good morning, evening, afternoon to you.

Without wasting too much of your time, I am a cis man and I gave this other man a BJ a couple of days ago. I used a condom during the whole thing, I just touched him a bit with my hands without the condom, but it made no contact with my mouth.

If that were the only thing, I'd be fine, but at the end, we used our hands on each other. That's where my worry is coming from. It's very awkward to say this, but a few days prior to this encounter, I bruised my shaft (close to the base) while masturbating alone. The bruise did not bleed ever, it's just a little bit red and it stings a bit (even today) when touching the area and it was present when we masturbated each other

And that's my worry. What if his pre ejaculatory fluid were on my or his hand while touching myself? I am aware that usually that would not be an exposure risk, but I did have this bruise/wound on the base of the shaft. Wouldnt that count as an open wound contact with pre ejaculatory fluid, and thus, an exposure?

So in short:
1- I gave this man a BJ WITH condom. His glands never made contact with my mouth
2- While mutual masturbating, some of his pre ejaculatory fluid might have touched the bruise on the shaft of my penis. The bruise never bled nor was bleeding at the time. Even still, wouldnt that be considered an open wound, making that a possible exposure?
3- he also gave me a BJ, so his saliva made contact with this bruise, although I felt no pain from that nor when he was masturbating me
4- it didnt happen, but what if his actual semen touched said bruise?
5- Yes, i used a condom to give a BJ. I know this is probably an overkill since oral sex only carries a theorethical risk, but no risk in practice. That said, it's the only way I feel confortable, but every MSM that I know hates the idea, including this guy, so do you think it's safe-ish to let go of this practice from now on?

Thank you very much in advance

[Jim Allen]

What if his pre ejaculatory fluid were on my or his hand while touching myself?

It's not an HIV risk to you.

but I did have this bruise/wound on the base of the shaft. Wouldnt that count as an open wound contact with pre ejaculatory fluid, and thus, an exposure?

No. A bruise isn't a route for HIV and HIV is fragile and sexually only acquired inside the confines of the human body as in not being exposed to the environment, like during condomless intercourse. 

his saliva made contact with this bruise

Next to the bruise not being a route to start with, saliva does not contain viable HIV, in fact, saliva is hostile towards HIV breaking down the receptors needed to infect.


Look, you gave the guy a blowjob, you masturbated each other, and he gave you a blowjob.  None of the details you mentioned makes any difference, so below is the HIV risk assessment.

Receiving a blowjob, even without a condom, it lacks the conditions required for acquiring HIV; thus, it makes sense that after 40+ years of this pandemic in terms of BJs, there hasn't been a single documented case of HIV transmission to an insertive partner (the person being "sucked"), and you will not be the worlds first.

The same can be said about the masturbation concerns you have, not an HIV risk.

As for giving a blowjob, even without a condom, the mouth generally lacks a route for HIV to infect, and saliva also neutralises HIV by damaging the receptors needed to infect human cells. It's such a minute HIV risk that it doesn't warrant testing outside the standard yearly screening. On top of this, you used a condom; there was not even a minute of HIV risk, move on with your life.

it's the only way I feel confortable, but every MSM that I know hates the idea, including this guy, so do you think it's safe-ish to let go of this practice from now on?

I think you should do what you are comfortable with, not feel pressured into doing something you don't want and sooner or later, you will find people who are okay with that.

As I mentioned giving a blowjob without a condom is a minute HIV risk. However, there are, of course, other STIs, now using condoms can reduce those STI risks, however, unlike HIV some STIs can be acquired through skin-to-skin/skin-to-sore contact in areas not covered by condoms.

In short, sex always comes with risks, and it's all about risk reduction to a level you are comfortable with. So use condoms if that works for you and consider PrEP as an additional level of HIV prevention, you could also consider getting vaccinated against things like HPV, Hepatitis B and Mpox.

Here's what you need to know to reduce your HIV risks:
Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse correctly and consistently, with no exceptions. Consider talking to your healthcare provider about PrEP as an additional layer of protection against HIV

Keep in mind that some sexual practices described as safe in terms of acquiring HIV still pose a risk for other easier-acquired STIs. So please do get tested at least yearly for STIs, including but not limited to HIV, and more frequently if condomless intercourse occurs.

Also, note that it is possible to have an STI and show no signs or symptoms; testing is the only way to know.

Kind regards

Jim

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[mj simmons]

Thanks for the reply, Jim. I always read about "open wounds" or "gaping wounds". What would those even be? Yes, I gave it a quick look on google images, but I'm pretty sure those are EXTREME cases

There is one thing you did not mention, it's about actual semen on said bruise. I'm sorry if I'm sounding like a broken record, I just want to be absolutely sure. I know deep in my my mind that this stuation doesn't even warrant a test, but you know...

[Jim Allen]

In terms of giving oral?

Example would be Meth mouth and more severe issue. However even if you had gaping holes in your head and gave a blowjob the HIV risk would be minute due to the other barriers and I will tell you to move on with your life