Author Topic: Pregnant and found out in October that I am positive (Read 12515 times)

yellabee3 · « **on:** December 21, 2014, 10:29:20 pm »

I am married and been working on my marriage. Everything was coming together until early October I found out I am positive. Everything been going downhill ever since. Luckily my husband is not, but it has put a strain in our marriage. Now I am worried about the baby and hoping it is not positive as well. I want to meet other females who experience or been in the same boat as me. I need a strong support group.

BT65 · « **Reply #1 on:** December 23, 2014, 09:56:33 pm »

Hi Yella,
Though I have not been positive while being pregnant, I have had HIV+ female clients (when I was a case manager) who got pregnant and carried the children to term, normal births, babies on treatment for a few weeks and are HIV-. There are specific meds you need to be on, however, in order to increase the chances that the baby will remain negative.

We are here for you. I am sorry you needed this site, but glad you found it since you do need it. I've been positive since (at least) 1989, probably earlier based on the timeline close to my first husband's death. It is possible to live with this, and to thrive.

Are you and your husband in counseling? How is he doing? I hope he's treating you good, and being understanding. It is a very difficult situation, but one I know you can weather. Stay strong girlfriend!

Betty

yellabee3 · « **Reply #2 on:** December 24, 2014, 12:16:52 am »

When I found out I was positive, it was October 16th and I was 22 weeks pregnant. I got on meds on November 4 at 24 weeks. I was placed on Kaletra lopinavir and lamivudine. The doctor mentioned that my CD4 was 345 and my viral loads was 790,000. I found out in the beginning of this month that my vl is now 4550 and my white blood count is a 7. My doctor never mentioned my CD4, he said it was not important, which I found it strange. Instead of being excited about this pregnancy like I was before the diagnoses, I been so depressed. I will give you a little back-story.

I’ve been depressed and my husband believes I am bipolar and I been acting out outside of our marriage, which got me in the situation I am in now. I should have gotten helped when he wanted me to. It had gotten worse when my mom got sick from cancer two days after Christmas and I been driving 2 hours almost weekly to take care of her. She passed away in March, a week after my son’s birthday party. My husband been there for me, but I was in a different state of mind, like a different person and I didn’t know who I was anymore. Oh how regret what I did, because we were working on things and I was finding happiness again. And when I found out I was pregnant I was so happy, we both were. But this diagnosis just killed me inside and I hate that I betrayed and hurt my husband. I am so scared about the state our child will be in once he is born. Yes, I am having a boy in February. Now I am seeking counseling and trying to focus on the health of the baby and my family. It has been so hard.

Thank you for your support.

BT65 · « **Reply #3 on:** December 24, 2014, 05:44:20 am »

Yells, I know it's hard, trust me, I know. I've had many challenges in many different areas. But I do know that as long as you keep pushing through, things work out. Maybe not always the way we expect or want, but they do work out.

You need to accept what happened and forgive yourself. And learn some coping skills for whatever personal struggles you are going through so you can relax and have a good pregnancy, and future. Since you are on meds and in regular medical care, I wouldn't be concerned about the baby having setbacks because of the virus.

Hang in. Work on whatever you need in counseling, to come to peace with yourself. And keep reaching out!

Betty

yellabee3 · « **Reply #4 on:** December 24, 2014, 04:24:21 pm »

Thank you for your support and I hope you enjoy your holiday.

Mary_Jane01 · « **Reply #5 on:** January 16, 2015, 06:58:25 pm »

Hello Yellabee3,
Please be strong...it is January so I assume you're about ready to pop. I am a mother of three, two of which were conceived and born post-positive. Their fathers are not positive. Even in my current marriage, although we did not have to deal with infidelity, we struggled with other things just as married couples sometimes do. I agree, counseling is a must and it is never too late to do it for yourself, at the least.
And I definitely agree that you must address the guilt. I had one instance with my last pregnancy when I didn't take my meds as I was supposed to and I allowed my numbers to get to the highest they've ever been at that point in my eleven years of being positive. I was devastated that I was risking my daughter's health. I immediately took them and continued taking them...until she was born (that's another topic mentioned in a different post). Both my girls are negative and loving life.
It is important that you work on you and your mental health. Even airlines tell you to put the mask on yourself before helping others.

Shany_lee27 · « **Reply #6 on:** January 18, 2015, 08:21:56 pm »

Yellabee,
I read your story and it is similar to mine. I have been married for 15 years. Have to be away on job for 7 months. Started drinking a lot and ended up sleeping with a friend. Worst mistake. I found out I was pregnant a couple months ago and just found out last week I am pos. I am still in shock and had to tell my husband who had test and is negative. I can't believe I ruined my life. My husband and I have never been able to have children. I am trying to be excited about having a baby but it's hard when you know the person that have you the baby also have you HIV!
I just started on medication yesterday. Kaletra and combivir. I am hoping the baby will be negative. I will be here to support you.

yellabee3 · « **Reply #7 on:** January 19, 2015, 10:32:37 am »

@Mary_Jane01, Thank you for your kind words. I have a scheduled c-section for Feb 10th. I've been taking my medication religiously and tomorrow I will find out how far my viral load had dropped. My main concern it to make sure this baby does not come out positive. I would be extremely devastated if the outcome was different. My husband has been so great, especially with all that I put him through. My husband's family threw a surprised baby shower for me. And to top it off, my grandmother and aunt was there. This broke me down because my mother passed away in March from cancer and this was part of a reason why I didn't want a show and the fact I betrayed the family. I just didn’t feel that I deserved it.

Thank you for your story. I am glad to be connecting with people who can relate to me.

yellabee3 · « **Reply #8 on:** January 19, 2015, 10:37:15 am »

Hello Shany_lee27,

Your story does sound very similar. How far along are you? How is your husband doing? I see you are on the same medication that I am on. I would love to find a way to connect with you so we can be each others support system.

Shany_lee27 · « **Reply #9 on:** January 20, 2015, 06:48:41 pm »

Yellabee,
I am almost 15 weeks. My husband is getting better, and is being very supportive. I am surprised he decided to stay with me, but I am grateful for him, and love him so much. I wonder how long it will take for my VL to become undetectable. How was your VL results? I also have concerns about passing to the baby but the doctor says that it is so low of a risk if VL is undetectable.

yellabee3 · « **Reply #10 on:** January 20, 2015, 07:04:35 pm »

Great that you have a supportive husband. It helps out a lot to have someone care for you even if you are the person who caused friction in the relationship. I found out from my doctor that my viral dropped from 4550 to 1440. Still not undetectable. He seems to think there is a good chance that the baby will be OK. I am hover, still worried. I think since you started early, you have a great chance to be undetectable. I started my meds at 24 weeks.

Shany_lee27 · « **Reply #11 on:** January 21, 2015, 06:36:08 pm »

Yellabee,
You still have a little time before your c section, so it should go down even more!
Keep your chin up. Have you had side effects with your meds?

yellabee3 · « **Reply #12 on:** January 21, 2015, 07:08:40 pm »

No side effects at all and I have been pretty much healthy throughout the pregnancy. I also sent you an email...

deprivedlol · « **Reply #13 on:** January 21, 2015, 11:21:41 pm »

dont know if this will make you feel any better but i was diagnosed over 20 yrs ago in my 5th month of pregnancy...my viral load was sky high...doctors made it seem like i was knocking at death's door...i chose not to take any meds (actually not til 7 yrs later)...,my son was born neg....have been undetectable for years...healthy as a horse today !

yellabee3 · « **Reply #14 on:** January 22, 2015, 07:56:23 pm »

Hello Deprivedlol,
Thanks for the measurement. Two more weeks to go!

Shany_lee27 · « **Reply #15 on:** January 23, 2015, 08:45:46 pm »

Deprivedlol,
Thank you for that story. Does make me feel better too!

whoknew · « **Reply #16 on:** February 02, 2015, 08:34:39 am »

Hi ladies, I haven't been here for a long time because I have been very busy loving life but saw this post and thought id come and share my story.

firstly congratulation mummies ! what an awesome adventure being a mum is ! honestly having hiv wont make a bit of difference take the meds and as long as your vl is undetectable you will NOT pass this on to your child. Mother child transmission on treatment is almost 0

I have three children two were planned and conceived post diagnosis one before and the guidelines for pregnancy have changed so dramatically my first poz pregnancy I had a c section and an azt drip and baby had 6 weeks of medication.
2nd I had a normal birth

no interventions and no drip just a natural birth with no fuss both times was undetectable and both times baby was fine baby still had 4 weeks of meds although they are now looking at whether this is ac

a friend of mine has just had a water birth in a midwife led centre with undetectable viral load and in the UK the guidance is different but you don't HAVE to have a cesarian there are no statistical benefits as long as your vl is undetectable I don't know if it is the same in the usa.

medication wise viral load became undetectable within a few weeks and has stayed like it. my children had blood tests at birth , 3 months and six months and 18 months

everything was ok my children are healthy , I am healthy and happy and other than a few appointments a year and one tablet a night honestly I am not fussed by HIV anymore I have started a new job got an education and graduated im still married to my husband who unknowingly infected me his health is not so good but he will be fine just a little more complicated than me.

anyway I am rambling because I know exactly how you feel and from someone who is 10 years ahead of where you are now I can honestly say that you will be wonderful mummies , your children will not be affected at all you don't need to feel guilty or ashamed and you don't have to discuss the matter with every single medical professional that is out there. Believe me when I was pregnant it was like I was a medical marvel and people kept wanting to ask questions.

the main thing is to be happy you are doing something amazing , much love to you all xx

yellabee3 · « **Reply #17 on:** February 04, 2015, 09:55:33 am »

Thank you. Your story gave me more hope. I am a week away from my birth and all I care about is my child comes out negative.

yellabee3 · « **Reply #18 on:** February 09, 2015, 08:39:14 am »

Had my baby on Saturday, Feb 7th due to preeclampsia. He is doing fine so far. He weighed 6 lbs and 10 oz and 18 inches long. Just waiting on results from HIV. It is driving me crazy. Scared to ask if they tested him yet. So much is going on in my world winded world.

lupetto · « **Reply #19 on:** March 12, 2015, 04:16:51 pm »

Congratulations on your baby boy, yellabee! How are you and the baby doing now? I hope all is good with your little family.

Congratulations to you too, Shany_lee, I hope your pregnancy is going fine!

yellabee3 · « **Reply #20 on:** March 14, 2015, 05:30:22 am »

Thank you. He is getting bigger. We had two negative tests. The first at birth and the second at two weeks. I am waiting for the results from the 4 week test. He got tested on Tuesday and haven't received the results yet. I am nervous as hell.

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Author Topic: Pregnant and found out in October that I am positive (Read 12515 times)