To change or not to change? That is the question!

[Just Beachy]

Hi to all, I am new at this Community Forum business so PLEASE bear with me. I was diagnosed in 2004 and after dragging my feet just started meds in November 2007. I am currently on Kaletra and Truvada and do not like the amount of pills I have to take a day. The meds tierslves are not bad it is the Calcium two times a day and the Loperimide I have to take both for terrible diarrhea and not to be gross but I mean EXPLOSIVE diarrhea. So between those and the aticouagulants I take daily for another unrealated condition I am taking 12 pills a day. I feel like I am in the early days of Aids/HIV
when they used to have to take tons of meds a day. So I was thinking of changing my meds to something that does not typically cause diarrhea and was looking on this site yesterday,after spending several hours looking and reading I came to the conclusion that I am just as confused and maybe even more scared than ever.All of the meds seem to have awful side effects.

I am not entirely sure I have come to gripps with the whole HIV thing, I mean I know I am positive and all of that but am not sure exactly what that means as far as my overall health . I just plug along as if I never had the diagnosis not really knowing how it effects me as far as my day to day health. I mean what do I attribute to just getting older (50) and what is actually due to the HIV? should I change my meds or not? If so to what? I don't want depression, mood changes, vivid dreams, rashes or swollen lips (which Atripla gave me) body changes( god knows we get enough of those just with aging) And then we won't even get into the fact that I haven't had SEX in almost 4 years because I don't wan't to face the rejection that I know is inevitable after disclosing that I am HIV+ to whomever I might meet and date. So instead I go out on a few dates and then find a reason to cut it off before it gets to the point of intamantcy. So I know that is ALOT on the plate here but thank you for letting me vent and even if I do not here back from anyone just getting this out hopefully has helpped some. If anyone has any advive I would welcome it.

I am sorry for not being very adept at this blogging or whatever it is called but this is the first time I have had a chance to even communicate with any other women or men for that mater since my diagnossis. I am disclosed to my family and a few close friends but I do not think anyone can really understand what you are going through unless they are going through it thierselves, much like Cancer or any other illness Again THANK YOU!

[BT65]

Hey just,

Let me be the first to welcome you to the forums.  I'm glad you found us.  Have you looked through the drugs section of Aidsmeds?  It's right up under the logo on the left. 

I take about 25 pills a day myself.  And inject Insulin.  I was around in the early days.  They were much more horrific, trust.  I was overdosed on AZT and had to get a blood transfusion because of it ruining my hemoglobin.  And the other meds were nightmares as well.  You don't say when you tested +, but I'm guessing from what you wrote, it's pretty recent.  Correct me if I'm wrong. 

As far as sex, well, I haven't had sex in like 5 years.  That doesn't mean that I don't watch a good porno and take it upon myself to 'feel good.'   It's not because of fear of disclosure.  Disclosure itself is a very personal thing.  There are people who don't disclose, but that use condoms, and I see nothing wrong with that.  The last time I had a relationship, he already knew I was positive.  That didn't stop him.  Of course, that doesn't mean every person is like that.   

Just give yourself some time.  Are you in contact with your local ASO (Aids Service Organization)?  Maybe they could help you in some way i.e. point you to a good therapist, maybe a support group etc. 

I hope we continue to hear more from you.  Please check out our dating thread.  It's not just about dating.  It's where we women go to vent, talk about daily things etc.  I look forward to getting to know you!
Luv-
Betty

[Just Beachy]

Betty; thanks for writing me. yes I am hooked up with all of the organizations that help people with HIV/AIDS in my area and I did try going to a therapist but after afew visits felt like I really didn't need it. I know I have no room to complain about the amount of meds I am taking compared to the old days, but that doesn't mean I don't unfortunately. I did say I was diagnosed in 2004 so I have known for 3 1/2 years now. Where do I find the site you said I should check into, that dating site? I am hetrosexual so I am not sure if it would pertain to me or not.

[Snowangel]

Welcome, Just!
I am relatively new to this forum too but everyone here is very open, honest and caring.  As far as changing your meds, you should see if you can have a one on one with your ID doc and let him/her know how everything is affecting you and what your options are.  I know from experience that the diarrhea can be dibilatating(sp?) and hopefully you both can find a way to curb that as well.  When I started my meds in 94, I was never without gingerale, it was a lifesaver for me because it seemed to calm my stomach down.  Also, look at your diet to see if there is something that you eat that your body does not tolerate anymore.
Like Bettytacy, mentioned try to see if you can find an ASO in your area.  A support group of your peers can help by letting you see that there are others out there in your situation and by letting you get what you need to off your chest.  They could also help you with the disclosure issue, as well.  This is a great forum for talking about everything too!  I wish you the best!
Take care,
Snow

[BT65]

Just, the dating thread is in this women's forum.  Of course you would fit in. 

[Just Beachy]

I have a D. appointment this Wed's. so plan on talking with my Dr. then. I called and already gave her the heads up that I might want to change my meds. I have looked at the link you have both suggested but as I said all that does is scare me. The alternatives to the diarrhea do not seem much better. I am connected with my local ASO but there is not a whole lot of activities where women with HIV have an opportunity to get together to share. Everything in my area seems to be more for the men. I know now you will all say that I should get something started but then there is the issue of time. I am still babysitting grandchildren and working part time on top of that. I guess we make time for what is really important to us. I have oppted  to use this forum for now and hope you all can be my support systym and also hope I might have something to offer to all of you at some time.Still open for any and all advice and suggestions.

Stay Warm B'rrrrr,

J Beachy

[Queen Tokelove]

Beachy---

Welcome to the Forums. I think the ladies have given you sound advice and not really much I can add to it. You are on the right track by talking to your doctor about the med change. As for the explosive bm's, well there's Immodium or did someone mention that? Or your doctor may suggest something for that. I'm sure there will be other ladies who will chime in once they see this thread.

[tendai]

Hie Beachy and welcome

As far as sex, well, I haven't had sex in like 5 years.
i dont think i can past 6 months

And then we won't even get into the fact that I haven't had SEX in almost 4 years because I don't wan't to face the rejection that I know is inevitable after disclosing that I am HIV+ to whomever I might meet and date. So instead I go out on a few dates and then find a reason to cut it off before it gets to the point of intamantcy. So I know that is ALOT on the plate here but thank you for letting me vent and even if I do not here back from anyone just getting this out hopefully has helpped some. If anyone has any advive I would welcome it.
i agree with the others about interacting with other poz people and al  if your main fear is about disclosrue.  if u hook up with a poz guy then that headache is out the way. good luck!