POZ Community Forums

HIV Prevention and Testing => Do I Have HIV? => Topic started by: sadlife on March 07, 2009, 01:37:29 am

Title: very scared!!! What is happening?
Post by: sadlife on March 07, 2009, 01:37:29 am
Before I even get to my issue, I have to say thank you so much for what you guys do. People that have never been here before, have no clue as to how valuable this site and the generous unselfish individuals that respond here are. You guys are magnificent in that you are here it seems 24 hours responding to everyones questions and relieving the stress and fear that this issue invokes. I had a post in early 2004(chemcastration33) on this site and have been dropping in (not posting though) regularly every since so I know who has been here. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

My issues this time is I was with a male escort on Feb 11. We had protected anal intercourse and I received a blow job from him. He did not cum in me or on me. The anal sex took place as follows. He wore a fullbody costume made of spandex/cotton that had a penis pouch which the penis slides into and is covered by the costume; kinda like a built in condom made onto the costume. Besides the costume I placed two condoms on him (i know double bagging should not be done) and he was in me for 5 minutes. When he pulled out there was blood on the condom from me but not much so we stopped for that moment.

Later he performed insertive anal on me again in the exact manner described above using two brand new condoms. This time when he pulled out, there was a lot of blood from me so we stopped. He was not bleeding and never ejaculated. I pulled both condoms off him so I know they were intact; they were bloody but the costume underneath was dry. After that he sucked on me for a while then he came by himself by masturbation and we were done. This is quick synopsis but this all took place over a two hour period.   

On Feb 20 I started to have symptoms of some type of STD (tingling\burning\irritation) when urinating and other sensation, don't know what it was. I have a friend that is a doctor so I told her I might have an STD (couldn't give her all the details like I am doing here) and the symptoms so she treated me with a shot in my butt (Mar 20) and prescription for Doxycycline and Flagyl. All symptoms cleared up and I was finished taking all the medicine on Mar1. I did have some side effects that scared me (believed to be ARS) but I know they were related to the antibiotic Doxycycline.

On Tue Mar 2, I started having a headache and sore throat which persisted off an on until Thur Mar 5. I felt hot but never had a fever during the headaches; I did start to feel some muscle and body aches and fatigue on Thurs. Today,Fri Mar 6, I woke up with no fever or headache but a 4:00PM  I had fever of 99.5 (my temp normally between 97.5-98.5). Now I'm scared!! I has been almost 4 weeks so I am right in the window for ARS. I have very noticeable body aches in my back and legs; just feel weak, fatigue and a very chesty sore cough that is productive but not much. Throat is still a little sore but not too bad. As I write this my fever is 99.5. I have no runny nose, congestion or anything like that in my head; just a slight headache. I don't have any swollen nodes (wouldn't know what to look for) or rash yet. I am extremely nervous up and scared. If any other symptom appears I don't know what will happen but I'm sacred of that.  Am I overreacting or is there a truly legitimate reason for my stress and anxiety?

My description of the events is accurate. We did have other body contact without condoms on but no oral or anal contact besides him giving me BJ with no condom on. I believe this is where my infection came from but don't really know. That is why I am so scared now. If I caught that then I could have caught anything else. Please help me.

I am taking a complete STD test but I was trying to wait at least 6 weeks for the HIV test but I am truly TERRIFIED now. What is causing me the concern is that he said he was disease free but now know that wasn't the case. I know this is long but please give me your thoughts. I can't sleep or do anything I am very very down and depressed. I read posts on I just tested poz and am now shaking violently. This is bad!!!! I hope and pray my life continue past 38 but I am very doubtful. Very sadlife in TX.     
Title: Re: very scared!!! What is happening?
Post by: sadlife on March 07, 2009, 02:42:14 am
I just checked my fever and it is going up 100 F. I am losing it; I can'y stop shaking. I am here beacuse I have ABSOLUTELY no one else I can talk to. If I don't respond back, I am Ken M. in Houston 77069. I was depressed before I brought this on myself so at this point anything could happen to me.
Title: Re: very scared!!! What is happening?
Post by: RapidRod on March 07, 2009, 04:42:28 am
What was your risk?
Title: Re: very scared!!! What is happening?
Post by: sadlife on March 07, 2009, 05:12:14 am
Thanks much for any reply. I have not been to sleep; just guarding the computer hoping for some respone.My risk was the anal sex and unprotected oral. I know the anal was protected but I still caught somthing from him that required treatment, now I have a fever along with other symptoms. I have a fever with sore throat but no runny nose, sneezing or congestion. I am a pitiful mess that is getting worse.  I have been completely truthful with my risk encounter. I going to try a get tested when the sun comes up; I can't sleep. I'm trying hard not to image how this will turn out but hope is not there.
Title: Re: very scared!!! What is happening?
Post by: RapidRod on March 07, 2009, 05:39:20 am
I'm being truthful about my answer. You were never at risk of contracting HIV from protected anal and getting a blowjob.
Title: Re: very scared!!! What is happening?
Post by: sadlife on March 07, 2009, 06:20:48 am
Thank you RapidRod for your response. When the stress, panic and anxiety take over, no matter how minimal the risk, I can't understand it or know that is what is was. It is just the fever now makes no sense and is very depressing.
Title: Re: very scared!!! What is happening?
Post by: Andy Velez on March 07, 2009, 08:30:27 am
Discuss your symptoms with your doctor. There no sound basis for thinking they have anything to do with HIV because you didn't do anything that put you at risk. Period.
Title: Re: very scared!!! What is happening?
Post by: sadlife on March 07, 2009, 09:05:03 am
Does it seem strange that I caught somthing else or is just that easy to catch another std unlike hiv? It does seem my fever is coming down now. It was 99.5 all night now it is 99. In the morning it is usually 97.8 min and 98.6 max. I am just really upset and it is impossible to calm down and think rationally. When the guilt, stress, anxiety, depression, alleged symptoms etc....gang up on you, the mind is very powerful. I will try to get tested if I can find somthing open today.     Thanks for the support
Title: Re: very scared!!! What is happening?
Post by: Andy Velez on March 07, 2009, 09:31:48 am
Well fortunately fears and other feelings are not facts. And there is no basis in HIV science for you to be concerned about.

Those feelings are a whole other issue and if they persist then perhaps it's time to sit down with a counselor or other professional to get some support in dealing.
Title: Re: very scared!!! What is happening?
Post by: sadlife on March 07, 2009, 04:03:15 pm
I went and got tested this morning at a planned parenthhood clinic. It was negative. I was 4 days shy of 4 weeks. I was given the Rapid hiv-1/2. I know testing a 4 weeks means nothing but is this an accurate test. Would any of the treatments for the other std's that I took impact this test?
Title: Re: very scared!!! What is happening?
Post by: Andy Velez on March 07, 2009, 04:22:46 pm
No, nothing would have skewered your test result. And of course you were negative. You never had a risk.

You need to get on with your life and/or see a therapist to talk about your unfounded persistence on keeping HIV as an issue when it isn't.
Title: Re: very scared!!! What is happening?
Post by: sadlife on March 09, 2009, 12:01:13 am
I was really trying hard to get back to just a small fraction of sanity but last night I still had a low grade fever. I took two Tylenol PM's and tried to rest but I woke up twice last night sweating like crazy. I had to dry myself and change t-shirts twice. Also, I have been noticing a soreness/ache under my left armpit only. I didn't mention it earlier because it really wasn't that bad and have felt it before but not like this however, today the ache has become really more noticeable. I kinda feels like something burning under there.

The fever is gone today but now the armpit soreness/ache is there. I have been coughing, sneezing and hacking up stuff all day. I know the coughing ,sneezing and having nothing to do with hiv however the sweats last night and underarm ache do have me worried. Could the sweats last night be from the fever breaking due to taking the Tylenol? The soreness/ache in my armpit is a mystery to me. Could it be irritated lymph nodes? After testing negative yesterday, this is really going to make it much more stressful and depressing waiting on the next test result. I cant' find the energy to support anxiety and panic now so hello severe depression.
Title: Re: very scared!!! What is happening?
Post by: Andy Velez on March 09, 2009, 07:55:51 am
See a doctor for your physical concerns. See a therapist or other professional for the emotional aspects of whatever is going on. Both are beyond the scope of what we can do here.

Good luck with getting those matters addressed properly.

HIV is not your problem and that is all that we deal with here. Period.
Title: Re: very scared!!! What is happening?
Post by: sadlife on March 28, 2009, 08:43:30 pm
Are there any over the counter allergy drugs that could possibly affect an hiv test result? Getting complete check up including all tests. It is allergy season and I have to take benadryl for severe allergies this time a year.   Thanks!
Title: Re: very scared!!! What is happening?
Post by: HIVworker on March 28, 2009, 10:34:59 pm
None that we know. The test looks for antibodies and the only real thing that might alter that are strong immunosuppresive drugs given during transplant replacement and chemotherapy. If you are on those drugs, it's still a maybe. Other drugs have no effect on the test.
Title: Re: very scared!!! What is happening?
Post by: sadlife on April 01, 2009, 08:09:47 am
Had a chance to get to local clinic on Monday and took Oraquick hiv test. It was neg. I was 2 days short from being 7 weeks. They also took blood and urine for complete std testing including hiv. Results in a week. What is the difference in the Oraquick (swab) and when they actually draw blood for testing. Is one test just as accurate as the other? Your brain and body can really play horrible tricks with you when stressed and worried. 
Title: Re: very scared!!! What is happening?
Post by: Andy Velez on April 01, 2009, 09:21:44 am
Yes, you will get an accurate result. And it's going to be HIV negative because you never had a risk to begin with no matter what your anxious mind continues to tell you to the contrary.

Title: Re: very scared!!! What is happening?
Post by: Elephant on April 01, 2009, 12:30:47 pm
I didn't know i couldn't reply in here. removed . Sorry
Title: Re: very scared!!! What is happening?
Post by: RapidRod on April 01, 2009, 12:45:53 pm
Elephant,

■Only those Moderators and members who are authorized to answer questions in the Am I Infected? forum are permitted do so. Unauthorized responses may be deleted without permission of the poster. Repeatedly posting replies of this nature may result in a Time Out or permanent ban, at the discretion of the Moderator Team.