Ola to the world

[ThomM]

Ola, Ya'll,
Bear with me, in spite of being an ole man, I am rather new to be actually 'talking' here.  And Jim Allen, feel free to more this comment to wherever you think it should be, as I said, I'm kinda new at actually doing any typing. etc.
  Just to let folks know, I am, myself, not POS but my husband of 30 years was. I say was because we went up to Heaven and joined many of our AMG friends in 2010. 
  "Our" group would get together, usually once a year, somewhere in the world, depending on what the general consensus was.   
  It gave me an opportunity to meet some really wonderful people, who, I most likely, would never have met but for HIV/AIDS.
   It has taken some time to get brave enough to actually do this. I initially thought I had no business saying anything, and haven't, but I have been getting info regarding many of my/our friends from AMG. 
 Most of it not good.  Granted, I do keep in touch with several of them, but unfortunately most of the info is when their names and info is posted here. (On the 'In Memoriam' section.)
  The most recent name I have seen posted here it 'anniebc' (My Darling Jan) from New Zealand.
  In spite of, years ago, having been, a funeral director, actually my partner/husband and both were, back in the early 80s (See I told you I was older.) But don't deal with  death very easily. 
  I know I am not the lone ranger about it but it still gets to me.   On two separate occasions, back in the 70s, I walked in only to find my 'friend' lying dead on the floor.
 Granted neither one of them were HIV, but both took their own lives. The first one was with a gun, early in the morning and I walked in and found him after work when I was coming to his home for dinner.
  The second one was about a year later, after work, when I was coming to his home for dinner and a weekend and found him sitting on the sofa with a plastic bag tied around his head.
  Our group of friends knew he was having some mental issues but nothing this bad.
 I think he had planned my 'rescuing' him when I came to his home for dinner after work but got delayed in traffic and didn't make it.
   Over the years we understood that it was inevitable, because he was POS but even so, I was not an easy event'
  I lay with him in my arms, in his hospital bed, February 6, 2010, he was not doing well and we knew his clock was ticking., as it were.
  He looked into my eyes, and said, "Thom, I love you, sorry, but I have to go.  Closed his eyes, took his last breath and was gone. 
  The hospital staff were kind enough to give me a few moments but then came and said, "Sorry, Thom but we have to take him." 
  As they took him from my arms, I had a seizure and spent a few more days in hospital.
  Anyway, over the years of our life together we had some interesting things happen, but don't we all, and especially our "Gatherings" like Toronto, Montreal, San Fransico, Mexico City, and the group, tried having me one last time in Las Vegas, but I had a problem, and had to go to hospital, and contrary to what they say, 'what happens in Vegas, doesn't always stay in Vegas.'   I still suffer seizures on occasion.
  As I said, I/we have met some wonderful people, but not for HIV/AIDS we most likely would never have met plus been to some awesome places. 
  Thank you for taking the time to read this and I hope and pray that ya'll dealing with life as best as you can and doing well.
  (I never say 'goodbye' to anyone, that is far too final.  But I will say, 'I love you' take care. Hugs from afar.