POZ Community Forums
HIV Prevention and Testing => Do I Have HIV? => Topic started by: xojamieox on November 09, 2007, 01:26:24 pm
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Recently, I have been under a lot of stress with my current boyfriend and I broke up with him. I saw my ex-boyfriend and we had sex. He used a condom but he fingered me and we deep kissed for a long time beforehand. He recently had had sex with someone whom of which he regretted because she was promiscuous. He "says" he used a condom with her, but they both performed oral sex on each other without any protection. I realized I had made a huge mistake and I am now back with the other guy.. Should I worry I'd give him anything?
I read that you can get HIV from cuts on fingers or from cuts in the mouth of someone who has is infected. I am not sure if either of us had cuts but there is a possibility because his teeth bleed after flossing and I had a sore in my mouth the next day, but I wonder if that is just due to the stress I've been having. Lately, I haven't felt so good, minor congestion and a sore throat, which I have felt since a couple days after it all happened. Probably allergies or due to the weather change.. I am hoping.
From what I read on here and on the welcome message, it seems unlikely I'd have ANY STD, let alone HIV.. but I go to different websites such as the CDC and many more.. and they say you should refrain from deep kissing and oral sex.. I know I didn't have oral sex with him but they did and I worry somehow we had cuts...
What is the likelyhood I could get HIV from fingering or deep kissing?
Sorry for the long post, but please, if you can.. soothe my mind!
Thank you.
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Fingering and deep kissing? Breathe easy and move on, hon. You're not gonna give your new BF HIV this way.
There's a "Lessons" section here with the real-deal scoop on transmission risks. Do yourself a favor and read up on it while you are here.
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Anyone else?
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Anyone else?
Gee, thanks.
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What more do you want..Thunter has already given you advise and is one of our regular experts, ..you were not put at risk from anything you have described.
Please read the Welcome Thread (http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=220.0) on how HIV is transmitted.
Jan
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Gee, thanks.
Sorry.. lol :-[
I just wanted more than one reply.. but absolutely thank you a lot for answering :)
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As you have been told you were not at risk for HIV transmission during this recent incident you're concerned about.
Other STDs are much easier to transmit. If you haven't had any symptoms since that incident then I would say you're clear as far as they are concerned as well.
You seem to be experiencing some lingering doubts which I attribute to discomfort about having had sex with someone other than your boyfriend. You can't undo history. Take a breath and let it go. That's the best thing for all concerned.
This is not an HIV situation.
Cheers,
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Other STDs are much easier to transmit. If you haven't had any symptoms since that incident then I would say you're clear as far as they are concerned as well.
Even if it's only been 11 days since it occurred?
Also, why are these websites saying you can catch HIV through these practices? Are they just trying to scare people?
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We can't account for what other websites may say. I can tell you that if you surfing the web you are going to find something that will feed every fear your mind comes up with and will drive you absolutely nutz.
You weren't at risk in this situation. I'm not clear what your reference to 11 days is about. But I can tell without a doubt that neither kissing or deep fingering are a risk for HIV transmission. Zero risk.
This is all head stuff. This is not an HIV situation. Really.
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We can't account for what other websites may say. I can tell you that if you surfing the web you are going to find something that will feed every fear your mind comes up with and will drive you absolutely nutz.
You weren't at risk in this situation. I'm not clear what your reference to 11 days is about. But I can tell without a doubt that neither kissing or deep fingering are a risk for HIV transmission. Zero risk.
This is all head stuff. This is not an HIV situation. Really.
I mean, I slept with my ex 11 days ago.. and I was referring to if STD's could have shown up that soon.
Also, the main website I am referring to is the CDC Official Website.
CDC response to if you can get HIV from Oral sex - http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/resources/qa/qa19.htm (http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/resources/qa/qa19.htm)
CDC response to if you can get HIV from Open Mouth Kissing http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/resources/qa/qa17.htm (http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/resources/qa/qa17.htm)
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Jamie,
We're familiar with the views of the CDC and our position tends to differ from theirs on those issues because we base our lessons and answers on peer reviewed science. The CDC is an agency of the US Government and tends to reflect that highly conservative political agenda.
As Andy notes your situation is not an HIV situation.
MtD
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Thank you.
I really appreciate everyone's answer.
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One more question, sorry..
What if you shave your private areas? That kinda cuts the skin a little bit, rght? Would that be any risk?
If I sound stupid, I apologize. As much as I try to forget about the whole thing, it creeps back into my mind.
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Jamie,
Whether you shave your nibblie bits or not makes no difference in terms of HIV transmission.
MtD
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Well, you may have those creeping worrisome thoughts from time to time. They don't and won't change the HIV-science-based realities of your situation. Neither with shaving your pubic area nor with regard to your other qualifications were you in any danger of HIV transmission. Period.
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Thank you both again. You two are fantastic.
It's just.. I am so upset with him.. I asked him if he would just go get tested for me, since it would most likely show up by now if he did indeed have it.. so I don't have to worry any more.. And besides you'd think he'd also want to know if he's negative also! Why wouldn't he just do it? UGGHHH. What a horrible mistake!
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Your HIV status is the one you are responsible for and on which you should be focusing.
You were not at risk in this recent incident you are concerned about. What your ex bf's position is or his status is really none of your business. Asking someone else to get tested is understandable. But it's also considered out of line. My guess is that it's another expression of your regret about the whole incident and wishing it had never happened.
But it did happen. So it's time to just get on with your life. Fortunately you weren't at risk for transmission in this recent situation so this is all moot.
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Andy,
Thank you, and the only reason I asked him to get tested is because I know how he is and he told me that he wanted to get tested for EVERYTHING, not just HIV, before I had even suggested for him to do so, but he has to be pushed into doing things, even health related and for his best interest.
That being said, I think I am satisfied with the fact that I am most likely safe. I will ask my doctor about testing for it the next time I go (30 days after the incident) just so I can relax a bit.
Thanks all who responded.
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Sorry, sorry, sorry for all my questions and I appreciate all the feedback and I appreciate everyone taking the time to comment back with answers.
Quick question!
Would having an autoimmune disorder like Hypothyroidism affect the results on an HIV test?
Should I wait longer to get tested than the average bear?
I'm currently taking medication for this.. so, Idk if that would change anything..
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Now listen up,
You don't have HIV. So cut the crap. It doesn't matter what silly scenarios you think up, our answers to you will not change.
I know you've been scuttling around here reading everybody else's threads so it's reasonable to presume you know the rules. Don't make quote the Welcome Thread at you and report you to the Moderators.
Ya dig?
MtD
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Now listen up,
You don't have HIV. So cut the crap. It doesn't matter what silly scenarios you think up, our answers to you will not change.
I know you've been scuttling around here reading everybody else's threads so it's reasonable to presume you know the rules. Don't make quote the Welcome Thread at you and report you to the Moderators.
Ya dig?
MtD
Please do not insult me like that. I am aware of my no-risk to very low-risk situation..
My last question to which you are referring is meant to educate myself now and for the future, since I am planning on having sex in the future and not just what my first post referred to. I do not intend to be endless in my thread, but I am also aware I cannot create a new thread on this forum either. So if you are implying that I may not ask any further questions, or post any more posts, please state that. But don't bother reporting me, I won't be making any more posts.
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Le sigh.
You are entitled to ask more questions, provided they aren't about things we've already answered.
Again and again and again and again.
Herewith the relevant section of the Welcome Thread (http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=220.0):
Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.
You say:
I am aware of my no-risk to very low-risk situation..
And I'm telling you that your situation is not "low risk" it's "no risk". There's a difference and you aren't allowed to post endlessly simply because you cannot wrap your head around that difference. You sought our advice, we've rendered it now move on unless you have something new to raise.
You are not the most important person in the world.
MtD