Author Topic: 22 with HIV (Read 13091 times)

Reallove92 · « **on:** April 29, 2015, 07:36:09 pm »

Hey, first time writing my own topic, new to this whole thing!
Im a 22year old white gay male, now living with HIV. Back in November of 14, I hooked up with a guy I had a history with, asked me to be his boyfriend at one point and said the words "I want to spend the rest of my life with you" so it was his birthday and I decided I'd give him bday sex even tho we haven't hooked up in over a year we reconnected, worse decision of my life, about 2 weeks after we hooked up I got really sick my organs swelled, high fever for 10 days, couldn't eat couldn't work, threw up everything, lost 12 pounds, went to the hospital 2 times, each time they couldn't figure anything out except for the fact that my liver was swollen and working too slow, and my white blood cells and platelets were low. I gave negative HIV results at the time because it was too soon. The whole winter I kept getting sick, I got the flu rite after that WITH pink eye, then I got bronchitis, and a sinus infection that would NOT get better! Personally I always got sick only once a year so I didn't feel like this was normal I was going to request another blood test because I thought I had cancer. I finnaly got better once winter was ending, by the end of March 15', I heard a rumor about the person I hooked up stating that he has HIV and it's not a false rumor. Instantly my heart dropped to my stomach, I was very scared and nervous not showing it to my friends but inside I was freaking out. I had every sign of the acute infection stage as the "worse flu ever" at this point I was obsessing over the thought of me possibly having HIV, the following week I went in to the clinic and got the oraquick test done. The 20 minutes of me waiting was the longest 20 mins of my life, as the nurse called my name to go back I instantly felt somthing was wrong, I walked into the room she told me to sit down as she grabbed the test along with tissues, she looked at me and said "it came back positive" those words echoed in my mind and my body went limp, falling over in my chair in complete devastation crying "I can't believe this!" She said we have to take ur blood to confirm it, at this point my sadness turned into anger, I yelled and told her "it's not a f*ckin false positive! I didn't get that sick for no reason" she tried to comfort me, nothing helped I wanted to leave that place and she wouldn't let me at first so i let my self out. The car ride to my parents house was horrible! I got to my parents house, walked inside and let a horrible blood curdling scream out as I dropped to the ground, crying and screaming, yes I was very dramatic about this, my mom was screaming what happened I couldn't even speak, when I finnaly could I grabbed her hand and I said "mom I'm sick" "I have HIV". She was quiet. I couldn't control my emotions and couldn't stop crying my dad came home while I was freaking out, so told him, he started crying, god it was the worse experience of my life. My parents told me they were there for me which helped me so much, I went to my apartment and told my best friend of 10 years, that I got HIV, her reaction was to just start crying. I also told my other room mate and other best friend, each of them cried but are my supporters! I don't know what I would
Do without them. The very next day I had a specialist appointment set up
In philly, even b4 I Got my confirmed blood test. The next week was constant crying and feeling ablosutly horrible, I feel Like Only other people who were diagnosed with HIV knows that feeling I'm talking about. The day b4 my appointment I got the call with the confirmed western blot test I cried again, the words from the nurse and the guy on the phone constantly replayed in my head "you're positive" I couldn't get those words out of my mind. The next day my mom and I headed to Philly I didn't know what to expect, I cried on the car way down in complete disbelief I was actually on my way to an HIV specialist. Once I went into the place and saw the doctor, she made me feel like I was going to be okay and that I can overcome this! I meant the pharmist also that day, they showed me pills and stuff talked about it, took 10 tubes of blood from me. I don't currently know the results yet, I already gave my name to clinical trials of cleaning my white blood cells a 3 hour process only for people who have never took arts, the next time I go I find out my blood results I also have to meet the psychologist and behavior health specialist, it's a whole team working for people with infectious diseases. Overall meeting the doctor made me feel so much better. It hasn't even been a month since I've found out I have HIV and I'm doing okay, I would say I do feel depressed and lonely rite now, I also can't seem to think good about my looks anymore, im a very good looking guy, and I just uhh feel so weird now, i turn down every guy who writes me online, I don't let anyone like me, because I feel Lethal with a poisonous bite. I also notice marks that pop up inside my mouth and then go away in a day, it's weird, I'm also always tired I fall asleep at work even when I'm fighting to stay awake. I have the support of my family and best friends, but I would love to have friends who are also HIV +, for support from someone going threw the same thing. I know I'm going to make it threw this, and turn something positive out of this negative situation in my life. Weather that's becoming a motivational speaker, HIV activist or something along those lines I'll find my place, but I refuse to let this virus control my life. Know one ever knows the true value of life untill your life has been threatened to be taken away. I now know the true value of life and I will become wiser stronger and a better person then I once was. I'm Michael and I have HIV, and I'm going to take this CHIN UP never knees in the dirt.

TheNormalLife · « **Reply #1 on:** April 29, 2015, 08:29:03 pm »

Well Michael, welcome on board. It sucks that you're here but it is also great that you have such contagious energy and strength.

Your seroconversion really sucked. I did have the worst flu ever, but besides being in bed for like two or three days and feeling a little down, I was feeling rather normal. It hit you like a truck for what you say!

You'll get better, you'll see. Those nasty little infections such as pink eye and constant colds will disappear. Your immune system got a low punch and it is recovering now; it will further recovery more once that you start taking your meds.

Great to have the support of your family and close friends. I'd suggest you to chill a little bit, don't over-communicate, many people are not ready for news like this. Pick wisely the circle of people you want them to know. You have your whole long life ahead to come out of the closet yet again.

I loved how you put that the virus isn't going to control your life. That's the attitude.

Hugs from Mexico,

Ray.

zach · « **Reply #2 on:** April 29, 2015, 08:34:32 pm »

at least you live in philly!!

(hang around, you'll get the humor one day)

sorry about the dx, it's always a mind fuck. i'd slow down on the dramatic disclosures, in a short time you'll come to understand that you'll live with this. in treatment, caught early... you're in as good a position as can be hoped for.

by the end of your post you sound pretty empowered, good to have a will to fight

Reallove92 · « **Reply #3 on:** April 29, 2015, 08:59:56 pm »

Thanks @thenornallife and @zach
Yeah I agree about not telling so many people!
I only told my parents and my 3 best friends who I trust with everything!
The people I told are the people who I only want to know rite now.
And yes I plan to try and stay positive, I have my bad days but who doesn't?

LightandLove · « **Reply #4 on:** June 02, 2015, 07:22:28 pm »

I am 22 as well and this just happened to me as well, I got my diagnosis one week ago.

It's hard, we are so young

hayssam · « **Reply #5 on:** June 02, 2015, 11:57:57 pm »

a cure in coming guyz
we are in the last days of this fucking man made virus!

sir elton john predicted in congress he will expand his thanks soon to the congress for ending this disease once and for all

hayssam · « **Reply #6 on:** June 02, 2015, 11:59:22 pm »

http://www.theguardian.com/music/2015/may/07/elton-john-us-congress-senate-hearing-hiv-aids

zach · « **Reply #7 on:** June 03, 2015, 12:49:39 am »

man made virus?! what the fuq are you talking about hassam?

man, you make some really outlandish claims

Joe K · « **Reply #8 on:** June 03, 2015, 03:09:23 am »

Quote from: hayssam on June 02, 2015, 11:57:57 pm

a cure in coming guyz
we are in the last days of this fucking man made virus!

sir elton john predicted in congress he will expand his thanks soon to the congress for ending this disease once and for all

Hayssam,

A cure is NOT coming and HIV is NOT a man-made virus. While that may be your "opinion", it has no basis in reality.

Joe

Richie_R2 · « **Reply #9 on:** June 03, 2015, 07:28:44 am »

Hassan- They're not trying to be mean to you, but it is impossible that humans made this virus. It has existed since the 1950s. Watson and Crick won the Nobel Prize for discovering the shape of DNA in 1953, and were awarded that Nobel in 1962. (http://www.nobelprize.org/nobel_prizes/medicine/laureates/1962/)

But HIV has been traced back to before that date. According to CNN article below:

Quote

Dr. David Ho and colleagues from the Aaron Diamond AIDS Research Center in New York told a conference they traced the very first case of HIV infection to a man living in what was then the Belgian Congo in 1959.

The scientists found HIV in a blood sample taken from the man, who was a member of the Bantu tribe. The HIV in the sample looks like an ancestor of several subtypes of HIV now found around the world, suggesting that HIV "evolved from a single introduction into the African population in a time frame not long before 1959," the researchers said.

http://www.cnn.com/HEALTH/9802/03/earliest.aids/

The article suggests the virus likely originated a decade or so before the first case confirmed with the Bantu. So HIV has been found just barely after our discovery of the structure of DNA. There is no way we could have artificially developed HIV in the 1950s, or even as recently as the 1970s/80s, before the ability to even quickly read DNA was developed (1983). http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polymerase_chain_reaction

In other words, it is simply impossible that humans made this thing. Not trying to hate on you, but that is a dangerous myth that people spread to add to the fear of this disease in the public eye. By making HIV sound like a biological weapon, it makes Pozzies like us seem that much more threatening to the average person. HIV is not a weapon, it's just another random fragment of RNA that we find in our world. Sorry if we sound like we're jumping on you, but that's a dangerous idea to leave alone when given voice to.

Sir Elton John is a hero and deserves his knighthood... though he's going to need a magic sword to win against the dragon that is the US congress.

leatherman · « **Reply #10 on:** June 03, 2015, 09:00:59 am »

Quote from: Richie_R2 on June 03, 2015, 07:28:44 am

The article suggests the virus likely originated a decade or so before the first case confirmed with the Bantu.

why are you referencing outdated articles (1998)? Last Oct (2014), evidence showed that the origin of the Aids pandemic has been traced to the 1920s in the city of Kinshasa, in what is now the Democratic Republic of Congo
http://www.bbc.com/news/health-29442642
http://www.reuters.com/article/2014/10/02/us-health-aids-origins-idUSKCN0HR26220141002

Richie_R2 · « **Reply #11 on:** June 03, 2015, 09:03:39 am »

Because I posted at 6:30 in the morning, before I had my coffee, and was in a hurry, grabbing first ones I ran across. Thanks for the updates.

They definitely place the disease before the invention of the Polymerase Chain Reaction or the discovery of DNA, no?

(Edit to add: And because most of my personal knowledge/information is still 10 years old, due to the decade of incarceration, and I'm working on updating my mental databases with more modern information. So I really am grateful for the new links.)

hayssam · « **Reply #12 on:** June 03, 2015, 09:47:26 am »

i wanted to explain that hiv wasn't a human virus.

it has been transferred from animals to humans .. SIV is a monkey non pathogenic virus that has been modified in some laboratories to be able to multiply in human cells

there wont be a sterilizing cure... but a new therapeutics will give a remission like cancer treatment... everybody want to stop taking medication..

zach · « **Reply #13 on:** June 03, 2015, 10:01:09 am »

Quote from: hayssam on June 03, 2015, 09:47:26 am

i wanted to explain that hiv wasn't a human virus.

it has been transferred from animals to humans .. SIV is a monkey non pathogenic virus that has been modified in some laboratories to be able to multiply in human cells

there wont be a sterilizing cure... but a new therapeutics will give a remission like cancer treatment... everybody want to stop taking medication..

complete and TOTAL bullshit... SIV was not engineered by man into HIV

HIV is not a biological weapon

that lunatic conspiracy has no place here

you don't know there won't be a sterilizing cure

insults and TOS violations redacted from this post

hayssam · « **Reply #14 on:** June 04, 2015, 07:44:24 am »

mr joe .. a cure is coming... and hiv is a man made virus .. the vatican knows that ... so tell me why elton john said that the congress has the power to end aids? this is just a legislative body .. so u by simply voting against this disease it will be ended... not man made?

Jim Allen · « **Reply #15 on:** June 04, 2015, 07:58:02 am »

Quote from: hayssam on June 04, 2015, 07:44:24 am

mr joe .. a cure is coming... and hiv is a man made virus .. the vatican knows that ... so tell me why elton john said that the congress has the power to end aids? this is just a legislative body .. so u by simply voting against this disease it will be ended... not man made?

Last time I checked Sir Elton John is not a scientist.
His address was to raise funding as such and draw attention. That he did.

If you wish to hope and believe a cure will happen that's up to you and your own beliefs.
However the how man-made HIV virus story and Vatican link is just utter and complete rubbish and as pointed out by a number of people. We are dealing with facts not fiction. This type of nonsense belongs with a health warning and a tin foil hat for the believers.

Might be not nice of me to say but the man-made HIV conspiracy and Vatican HIV conspiracy theories (Note: Plenty of other stuff they are guilty of but that's a different topic) have always sounded to me like people who are looking to blame someone for something that they can't accept in life.

DANIELtakashi · « **Reply #16 on:** June 04, 2015, 08:17:37 am »

hayssam,

Hi.
Of course the possibility of a cure is something that everyone is longing for but what is the foundation of your saying that a cure is coming?

hayssam · « **Reply #17 on:** June 04, 2015, 08:45:37 am »

the king of israel yehoshua is coming soon! halelouya
it will be a honor to get cured on his hand... long live israel.. yehoshua is bringing peace and cure for all diseases

Jim Allen · « **Reply #18 on:** June 04, 2015, 09:03:00 am »

Quote from: hayssam on June 04, 2015, 08:45:37 am

the king of israel yehoshua is coming soon! halelouya
it will be a honor to get cured on his hand... long live israel.. yehoshua is bringing peace and cure for all diseases

First Elton John, Monkey SIV , man made and the vatican then finally this. Oh boy what a combination. Care to add ET to the mix?

DANIELtakashi · « **Reply #19 on:** June 04, 2015, 09:08:54 am »

Ditto.
I am leaving this discussion.
SAYONARA.

Dachshund · « **Reply #20 on:** June 04, 2015, 09:13:23 am »

Quote from: hayssam on June 04, 2015, 08:45:37 am

the king of israel yehoshua is coming soon! halelouya
it will be a honor to get cured on his hand... long live israel.. yehoshua is bringing peace and cure for all diseases

Except for the homo's. They are on their own.

zach · « **Reply #21 on:** June 04, 2015, 09:26:09 am »

hassam, it's pretty rude to hijack a new members introduction thread... go be batshit crazy in your own off topic thread or something

or better yet, just go away

OP, you didn't deserve this

DANIELtakashi · « **Reply #22 on:** June 04, 2015, 09:34:51 am »

Dear OP,

I am sorry for having been in the discussion that was not related to your original topic.

Alexander1992 · « **Reply #23 on:** June 07, 2015, 11:05:37 am »

Dear OP while I was reading your story I started crying because I'm 22 and I had the same thing last December... I told my parents the same day I got the positive results. You are brave,stay brave and stay on track with your doctors and make everything possible not to loose faith and your brave heart! It gets better

Lot's of hugs!
Alex

Madrettor · « **Reply #24 on:** June 07, 2015, 09:31:43 pm »

Quote from: hayssam on June 04, 2015, 08:45:37 am

the king of israel yehoshua is coming soon! halelouya
it will be a honor to get cured on his hand... long live israel.. yehoshua is bringing peace and cure for all diseases

You took a handful of Atripla, didn't you?

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Author Topic: 22 with HIV (Read 13091 times)