Author Topic: Living in New York vs SF (Read 6411 times)

seekingtruth75 · « **on:** October 30, 2007, 09:46:34 am »

Just curious to find out what your opinions are about living in New York? Or if anyone on here lives in SF? I have been in New York for 7 years and I think that its just too stressful of a city to live in when you are Poz. I have an opportunity to move to SF and I am wondering what kind of resources are out there. I'm a little torn.

Iggy · « **Reply #1 on:** October 30, 2007, 09:52:56 am »

As a native New Yorker I think it is a great city to live in if you are poz. The medical access, the programs, support groups and lord knows you are among many many others who are also poz and certainly not alone.

Now if you find New York (regardless of being poz) a stressful place than you probably won't be doing yourself any good by staying, but I don't agree that it is a stressful place to live if you have HIV. I actually think it is the opposite

seekingtruth75 · « **Reply #2 on:** October 30, 2007, 09:59:30 am »

I truly love New York but sometimes I feel like I am missing out on my former life after finding out my status. I learned I was poz on April 20th, and slowly but surely it's really starting to overwhelm me.

I feel like I have a great doctor - someone who i have seen for the last 6 years - and just a week ago he put me on Atripla. (my CD4 test and VL test came back and were not good to say the least). I have yet to start it because I am working out some insurance loophole (they are saying I need to pay the $1300/mo for the prescription which I just can't) but I remain optomistic. I am going to go to a FriendsInDeed meeting tonight (http://www.friendsindeed.org/) and have been seeing a good therapist since testing positive.

Like i said, its pretty overwhelming. I worry I will never truly enjoy life again, but its my new reality and I am going to deal with it. I'm new to the board so I hope to share more of my story in the upcoming weeks as I start treatment and face a harsh winter here.

Iggy · « **Reply #3 on:** October 30, 2007, 10:04:32 am »

Based on what you just wrote, I don't think it is an issue of NY vs. SF. Those feelings you have are not going to change if you go to a new city.

Now if you think a change in location will give you a fresh outlook to build upon then so be it, but I just wouldn't base your next move on a move.

MODIFIED: I just looked at that link you posted and am highly skeptical with any support group that talks about highly secure credit card processing. I suggest you contact both the GLBT center and GMHC first (you need not be a gay man) for lists of free support groups that do not require such questionable structures.

PeteNYNJ · « **Reply #4 on:** October 30, 2007, 10:11:35 am »

I agree with Iggy - since you are recently infected, you might want to rule out a move at this time. It isn't a decision you want to make in haste.

It sounds like you are mourning your "negative" life. It is normal to feel that way and it does get better!!!! We have all been there, believe me.

I am also a NYer (well, NJ to be exact but right outside the city) so I know what you mean about stress. Iggy is right about support groups, doctors, yadda yadda, but it can get to you. You have to learn to deal with the stress in a positive way and some support groups will show you how. Stress is not good for the immune system.

This board has been a real help to me over the past few years. I think by just writing down how you feel and discussing it with the wise souls here, some of you stress might melt away.

Pete

seekingtruth75 · « **Reply #5 on:** October 30, 2007, 10:19:11 am »

I was under the impression that their meeting are free, but I will check it out.
So on the topic of support groups etc...what are some good ones that you can think of in the New York area? I was going to head over to the GMHC building today and just find out what they are all about. I know there are ones at the Gay and Lesbian Center, but GMHC seems a bit more organized.

Iggy · « **Reply #6 on:** October 30, 2007, 10:30:30 am »

The GLBT center may seem a little less organized as they are more of a hosting space for groups and not the actual founders/moderators/promoters of groups.

Here is some info to get you started:

GMHC
http://gmhc.org/programs/palm_center.html

LGBT center
http://www.gaycenter.org/program_folders/Program.2004-07-13.4022268804/program_view

Callen Lorde (has a group for newly poz)
http://www.callen-lorde.org/services/support.html

PeteNYNJ · « **Reply #7 on:** October 30, 2007, 11:10:56 am »

Also feel free to PM me if you want to chat about anything but dont want to post it publicly (sometimes people are a bit shy when they first start posting).

Pete

StrongGuy · « **Reply #8 on:** October 30, 2007, 11:48:03 am »

Seeking I'm a life-long New Yorker -- send me a PM if you want to talk. Many have been were you have been and made it throughand survived Living with HIV in this crazy city of ours. Myself included - and it's tough. I can share with ya some more info via PM (about the good, the bad and the ugly when it comes to surviving the city) .

Be well and keep your head up!
Mike

Miss Philicia · « **Reply #9 on:** October 30, 2007, 12:43:41 pm »

Quote from: Iggy on October 30, 2007, 10:04:32 am

MODIFIED: I just looked at that link you posted and am highly skeptical with any support group that talks about highly secure credit card processing. I suggest you contact both the GLBT center and GMHC first (you need not be a gay man) for lists of free support groups that do not require such questionable structures.

Friends in Deed is about the very best support group I've ever encountered in the past 15 years, dear. In fact, as a "native New Yorker" that is HIV positive I'm a bit surprised that you are not familiar with them. Keep in mind that I lived in NYC for the first 12 years of my diagnosis, and 15 years total.

Miss Philicia · « **Reply #10 on:** October 30, 2007, 12:49:11 pm »

Quote from: seekingtruth75 on October 30, 2007, 10:19:11 am

I was under the impression that their meeting are free, but I will check it out.

Friends in Deed *IS* free, and it's a great organization and has been around forever. I encourage you to attend, starting with one of their "Big Group" structures which you'll see in their listings.

Iggy, unfortunately, doesn't know what he's talking about in this particular instance (though generally he does:)))

Optimistic · « **Reply #11 on:** October 30, 2007, 01:59:53 pm »

There are plenty of resources in SF for Poz folks. There are various clinics all over the city. There is one particular clinic in California that caters to HIV specifically and it is called AHF (Aids Health Foundation). There are several AHF locations throughout California. ADAP in California is not bad to qualify if you are uninsured.

I can understand the stress that is going on, especially in a city like NYC. Even though it is a great city, it might be a good idea to move away for a bit. A change of environment can be good. Just remember though, you are leaving your friends behind in NYC. Thus, you will have to make new friends in SF. I personally find that people in SF are very down-to-earth and welcoming. Any major city will come with some sort of stress and SF is no different.

The pros of SF:
1) nicer weather (not humid in the summer, not as cold in the winter)
2) close proximity to everything, from the Napa Valley to Lake Tahoe to the lovely beaches. You can drive to the snow without having to live in it. You can drive to the sun (Southern California) when it is cold in SF. You can drive to the countryside within no time. Many beautiful places to go hiking.
3) The scenery in SF is spectacular (one of the most beautiful cities around)
4) similar to NYC, it is walking distance around the city with a great transportation system
5) the cost of living is slightly below NYC
6) home to one of the best medical research universities around (U.C. San Francisco)
7) Southwest airlines can take you around the West Coast for fairly cheap (that is if you book in advance)

If you have medical insurance, the resources are limitless. There are many great places to treat your HIV.
9) There are good theaters in SF, though not as good as NYC.
10) SF cuisines are comparable to NYC if not better.
11) The city has its own charm with many local vendors all over the city, unlike some cities that are full of major chain stores.
12) Driving is definitely not as confusing as the East Coast.
13) The fresh air in SF is quite pleasant.

These are just my opinions....of course they can differ from person to person.

Justin

Iggy · « **Reply #12 on:** October 30, 2007, 02:06:25 pm »

Quote from: philly267 on October 30, 2007, 12:49:11 pm

Friends in Deed *IS* free, and it's a great organization and has been around forever. I encourage you to attend, starting with one of their "Big Group" structures which you'll see in their listings.

Iggy, unfortunately, doesn't know what he's talking about in this particular instance (though generally he does:)))

Iggy didn't do his full research and simply got caught up on a section of the linked website which was sloppy (of me) and unfortunately misrepresenting of the orgs goals and services. My mistake and my apologies. Never did hear of them myself but then again I spent the first 3+ years of my five years as a poz man in complete denial.

allanq · « **Reply #13 on:** October 30, 2007, 02:27:48 pm »

What are the particular things that stress you out in New York? San Francisco is a great city (Optimistic gave lots of reasons to support that claim), but it is definitely not a stress-free place to live. For one thing, housing is almost as expensive in San Francisco as it is in New York. (Expect to pay around $1500 for a studio apartment.)

Moving to a new city and starting a new life is itself a very stressful experience. Maybe you should wait until you spend some time in a support group in New York before making a decision to uproot your life and move across the continent.

Allan
(who spent the first 30 years of his life in New York and moved to the Bay Area 29 years ago)

Miss Philicia · « **Reply #14 on:** October 30, 2007, 02:28:23 pm »

Quote from: Iggy on October 30, 2007, 02:06:25 pm

Iggy didn't do his full research and simply got caught up on a section of the linked website which was sloppy (of me) and unfortunately misrepresenting of the orgs goals and services. My mistake and my apologies. Never did hear of them myself but then again I spent the first 3+ years of my five years as a poz man in complete denial.

No problem. Seriously, this organization is one of the better kept secrets on NYC. They also have most excellent smaller groups, though I think they're mostly during the day. I wasn't turned on to FID until around '00, and I wished I 'd known of them sooner. They also often have an excellent free lunch, though I think it may be only once or twice each week. The facilities are quite nice too and in SoHo... and there's quite an emphasis on privacy, etc. Cynthia O'Neal who is in charge runs a tight ship, and another thing that is great is that it's not just HIV-centric, but encompasses other life threatening diseases though it's still 90% HIVers there. It can be slightly New Age-y at times, but not obnoxiously so.

I'd still agree that one should enroll in GMHC client services, as they are good for lots of other things. I'd still always go with FID for support group type stuff -- as it's a smaller organization you won't feel lost as one easily does at GMHC which I found too large, too bureaucratic, and at times dysfunctional.

Miss Philicia · « **Reply #15 on:** October 30, 2007, 02:33:18 pm »

Oh, I'll also add that any NYC-ers on ADAP should make use of Callen-Lorde's excellent dental services. This is another "hidden" thing in NYC for HIVers, and in fact many don't even realize that dental services exist for folks on ADAP... you have to go to the right place to find this out.

I've read/heard of iffy experiences with their medical HIV clinic though, but I never went to that section so I have no first hand experience. Dental stuff was fine.

As far as seekingtruth's "stress" environment issues, indeed NYC can be stressful. There are also a lot of plusses there -- mostly dependent on income level of course. Once I went on disability I had to high-tail it out of there.

seekingtruth75 · « **Reply #16 on:** October 30, 2007, 02:40:08 pm »

I was going to ask about dental services...as I havent been back to my old, kinda weird dentist on Central Park South. This was b4 find out my + status. Keep the advice coming- you folks will become my new brothers and sisters soon.

Optimistic · « **Reply #17 on:** October 30, 2007, 02:46:26 pm »

ADAP-dental services in California is similar to the one in NYC. ADAP in California covers a lot of grounds. All you have to do is ask your health care provider what you need with respect to health services and they will direct you to those resources, which is all covered by ADAP. If it is not covered, the health care professional will tell you and suggest options.

Justin

Iggy · « **Reply #18 on:** October 30, 2007, 02:52:28 pm »

Quote from: seekingtruth75 on October 30, 2007, 02:40:08 pm

I was going to ask about dental services...as I havent been back to my old, kinda weird dentist on Central Park South. This was b4 find out my + status. Keep the advice coming- you folks will become my new brothers and sisters soon.

I suggest you get some referrals from GMHC and Callen Lorde in NY. Keep in mind that one of the benefits of being in either SF or NY is that due to the sheer number of people who are poz in each city, there are many medical professionals available who you need not be embarrassed or worried in discussing your concerns.

Miss Philicia · « **Reply #19 on:** October 30, 2007, 03:16:41 pm »

Quote from: Iggy on October 30, 2007, 02:52:28 pm

I suggest you get some referrals from GMHC and Callen Lorde in NY. Keep in mind that one of the benefits of being in either SF or NY is that due to the sheer number of people who are poz in each city, there are many medical professionals available who you need not be embarrassed or worried in discussing your concerns.

... and then there's Philadelphia. Amazing what living in a city with places such as U-Penn, Temple and Drexel do for the infected

The esteemed Wistar Institute is here, and both Glaxo and Merck have sizable operations in the area.

Did I mention it's less stressful? Well, except for that high murder rate.

pozattitude · « **Reply #20 on:** October 30, 2007, 03:26:11 pm »

I love New York, I always have and I always will, but to live in New York it requires a lot of money and it can be very stressfull, plus I HATE WINTER!!!
I moved to the bay area about 2 years ago and I hope I never leave this part of the country. Yes San Francisco is very expensive as well (housing that is) but the weather is fantastic ( it never snows and it never gets really hot), there is more than enough resources for us pozzies and the city is magical and gorgeous...Sorry New York, but San Francisco is now #1.

Rich
(who plans on spending the rest of his life in San Francisco)

DCGUY2007 · « **Reply #21 on:** October 31, 2007, 03:28:09 am »

I prefer NYC over S.F. I also feel, as some others have mentioned, that NYC has a lot to over poz people. Im sure S.F. does too. I just prefer NYC.

Oceanbeach · « **Reply #22 on:** October 31, 2007, 06:30:16 am »

I live on the Russian River which is a little over an hour north of San Francisco. California lost 3 of 9 Title I funded counties in the Ryan White Modernization Act. Sacramento County (state capital) lost theirs, Sonoma County (where I live) lost theirs and Santa Clara County (San Jose) has also lost their funding.

The Sonoma County budget for HIV Care and Services dropped from $1.6 million to $726,000.00 beginning on March 1, 2007. There will more cuts in FY 2008 and FY 2009 and all the funding will be gone. When you take such funding from non-profit care organizations, there are deep and very serious cuts in services. I spent the summer of 2006 on the Funding Allocation Working Group and we were faced with making cuts to our own services. We budgeted 4 scenario levels and ended up with half of our lowest possible choices.

I do not have the figures for Santa Clara County which is located just south of San Francisco. But, when you take millions of dollars from a healthcare system, it does not matter if Ryan White funding is the payer of last resort... Programs are cut no matter who the payor is and when these programs are cut, people will relocate which means, many people living with HIV/AIDS in Sonoma County and Santa Clara County will be moving to San Francisco in the next few years. This will further impact under funded systems of care in San Francisco.

There is an organization called Positive Resource Center in San Francisco whose purpose is to assist people living with HIV become employed again. I don't bel;ieve there is any other organization in the U.S. which is doing this. They have sent speakers to some of our events.

Moving is such a big decision and I realize I have not painted a very good picture here so... I sure hope others will join in. I'm sorry but, I learned to look at the worst possible scenario, I'm thinking about moving back to L.A... Have the best day
Michael

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Author Topic: Living in New York vs SF (Read 6411 times)