Author Topic: Rudeness/HIV test (Read 13760 times)

donny85 · « **on:** September 08, 2006, 12:39:19 pm »

HI, I am new here, But I have been reading a lot

My ship was pulling into Pattaya thailand and are commanding Officer said that 6 out of 6,000 of us would catch HIV from this country. Well I told myself I would not mess with any bar girls. So we pull into thailand and I went out with my friend, well the first bar we see we see girls screaming at us I turned around and walked away fast I was very scared of them. Well later that day we went to the mall and went bowling on the way from bowling(inside same mall) we saw 2 girls, well we went to play pool and then we asked them did they want to play. we had fun and I asked them to dinner we were heading down the stairs and one of the girls had to go to work(bar girl) But the other girl stayed with me, the girl that was with me I thought she didnt like us because we are foreign or something she didnt flirt like her sister did and she didnt even talk we I got to know her and stuff. later on that day we went back to my room, maybe 1 hr later we were about to start having sex, but first she told me to put on a condom. I was very nervous right now I put condom on and we started having sex, well I was so afraid I pulled out and looked at the condom to see if it was broke or something, It wasnt broke at that time. Well I started to put it back in the condom broke while inserting, I wasnt inside her fully yet when it broke, so I was unprotected for maybe 1 or 2 seconds I pulled out and got up pee and washed up. I was so afraid, she was afraid too I asked her did she have any disease and she said NO. She asked me the same thing and I said no. I was still worried she did admit to working as a bar girl 1yr ago and she does work at bar time to time only when she needs money and her sister cant give her any. She also said when she worked at bar she go to doctor a lot. she said she always use condoms when with someone. She stated the last time she didnt use condoms was with her EX-BF and that was 5 yrs ago and that is how she got her son. The next day I went here and checked online and I was still worried I made her cry because the next day I was still acting weird. Well we started having sex again and I was so afraid I stopped and got up. She started Crying and walked away from me I talk to her and she asked how come I dont trust her and why am I so afraid. She said she is just as worried as I am for what happen the day before. We stayed together the whole time which was 4 days I was there in thailand. I do believe She even said if I want her to go to doctor she will go. Sorry I wrote so much. I dont know if my head of my penis got in contact with any part of her vagina because I wasnt INSIDE of her all the way, she was dry and she was very very small, I messed with the condom and I was trying to put it back in. I am heterosexual, no diseases.

1. Is it possible to catch HIV from this exposure??
2. Is there any STD I can catch from this exposure??
3. Should I get tested from this exposure??

I already had one doctor tell me I was ok and I had nothing to worry about. I want to ask my Military doctor but when I had a exposure like this before he helped me and he was correct. If I ask him again he will tell me again not to worry. I have had 3 other people tell me not to worry as well. The woman I met and someone online already. I tried so hard not to make a mistake and I did and now I am freaked again. All I know she was worried just like me and the last 4 days I constantly asked her over and over again. When I checked my prviate I notice my fluids and the condoms was on my head but I dont know if any of it was her. the head didnt touch anything yet because I was just putting it in when it broke. She also told me I am lucky I am with her and not with a woman who is infected or is at a risk. But words or words and I still worried.

Thank you for your help,
Have a great day

Andy Velez · « **Reply #1 on:** September 08, 2006, 01:34:04 pm »

Donny, I don't see this as an incident about which you need to be concerned as far as HIV. From your description you had perhaps a few seconds of POSSIBLE exposure when the condom broke before you withdrew.

HIV is not an easy virus to transmit. It's even more difficult to accomplish from female to male. Technically there was some risk when the condom broke. But in my opinion from what you have described I do not think testing is necessary this time.

As you realize there are other STDs out there. So in general if you're sexually active it's a good idea to have a full STD panel done regularly. That means at least annually and every six months is even better.

I would also suggest that you stop asking the woman in question about her health. It's considered bad form to pursue a partner that way. Remember now and for the future that you are responsible for your own health, not the person whom you are with. You have the right idea about using condoms for intercourse. They provide very effective protection against HIV so use one everytime you have intercourse, no matter whom you are with.

This time out I don't see any cause for concern.

Cheers,

donny85 · « **Reply #2 on:** September 08, 2006, 03:06:17 pm »

Hi, Andy Velez

Thank you for your response, Yes you are right I should not worry it was only a few seconds that was all no longer then 1 or 2 seconds, if I had to max it out i would say 5 seconds but I doubt if it was anywhere near that time frame. Yes I should stop asking women about there health but I let fear get over me and I go crazy I have anxiety attacks a lot I am so worried. I am still worried for a sexual encounter I had last year and that was only 30secs but I am still afraid. I did test negative but I havent tested since but I do email her and ask her all the time about her stats but I stopped that resently. I worry to much, I cant help but to worry. The woman where the condom broke I still talk to her we have communication. Yes I will use condoms for now on and I will make sure I use it properly. But why am I so afraid of HIV?? It took me 4 years to have sex again when I was told about HIV. I was so scared I went Cold turkey and that was in HIGH SCHOOL. I am 22 years old and I just started having sex not to long ago. Yes I will get a full STD run again soon. Right now this is the only girl I have messed with in a year so I plan to get tested in January. Do you think it is rude to ask a girl about her stats after something like this happens??

donny85 · « **Reply #3 on:** February 11, 2007, 10:16:59 pm »

Well I had a incident where I was having sex with a woman and the condom broke. I pulled out a few seconds and looked yes it was broke at the tip. Well I was really scared and worried, she was worried as well. Even though she told me she doesnt have any diseases and I assured her the same. I still felt I should get a Hiv test. I got a test done 8 weeks or 9 weeks later. Came back Negative because they never contacted me. Even though I felt ok about it I decided to get a 4 month test I went to a clinic and she was too busy eating to test me and told me to come back some other time How rude of her I was really mad she doesnt have the right to tell me to go away. I am really mad and I dont want to get tested anymore because people are too rude and it took a lot of heart to go there. Does anyone feel I still should get another test it would be about 17weeks after the condom broke?

Life · « **Reply #4 on:** February 11, 2007, 11:10:59 pm »

"Caregiver" seems to be lacking here... Call her boss...

donny85 · « **Reply #5 on:** February 11, 2007, 11:19:46 pm »

Yes I should call her boss. she was very rude. I dont want to go back and take another test. do you think I need too?

RapidRod · « **Reply #6 on:** February 12, 2007, 03:20:57 am »

Not everyone in life will be happy go lucky, why didn't you just go to another clinic? Eventhough your risk was minimal you should test. If you are sexually active you should test at least once a year for HIV and all Stds.

donny85 · « **Reply #7 on:** February 12, 2007, 04:36:43 am »

Quote from: RapidRod on February 12, 2007, 03:20:57 am

Not everyone in life will be happy go lucky, why didn't you just go to another clinic? Eventhough your risk was minimal you should test. If you are sexually active you should test at least once a year for HIV and all Stds.

Hi,

I didnt go to another clinic because I was real mad and the other clinics are too far away and I didnt have enough time to go to them. I did get a test 8 to 9 weeks after the condom breakage and I was following up on a 4month test. But she just mad me real mad so rude, For some people it takes a lot of courage for people to get tested.

RapidRod · « **Reply #8 on:** February 12, 2007, 04:46:15 am »

You still don't have your conclusive test. Are you going to let one person stop you from comfirming your test? Don't expect everyone to wakeup every morning being in the greatest of moods that's human.

donny85 · « **Reply #9 on:** February 12, 2007, 05:19:53 am »

Quote from: RapidRod on February 12, 2007, 04:46:15 am

You still don't have your conclusive test. Are you going to let one person stop you from comfirming your test? Don't expect everyone to wakeup every morning being in the greatest of moods that's human.

Yes I still dont have a conclusive result yet but 8 weeks is ok for me. I am tired of worrying and as soon as I get a chance to go I get treated badly. I wont have anytime to go and get a test for a longtime, that was the only day I had a chance. Besides it was just a broken condom noticed it right away and pulled out of her. I am not to worried about it no more. I dont expect everyone to wakeup happy but her job is to run test and check the health of people but some people dont take there job seriously. Thank you for your concern. I worried about HIV a lot and I am a 23 year old African-American Male. It time for me to stop worrying and have fun. I used protection with her and I was acting responsible. But sometimes things happen. I always get a checkup every year anyway.

donny85 · « **Reply #10 on:** February 12, 2007, 05:41:27 am »

Quote from: RapidRod on February 12, 2007, 04:46:15 am

You still don't have your conclusive test. Are you going to let one person stop you from comfirming your test? Don't expect everyone to wakeup every morning being in the greatest of moods that's human.

Rapidrod, do you think I need to be concern? I hear a lot of people tell me not to worry and I will be ok and I dont need a test. I did get a test but I am thinking of getting another one. I am just tired of worrying and i wanted to get it over with that day.

RapidRod · « **Reply #11 on:** February 12, 2007, 05:51:35 am »

For you mentally? No! Not until you've received your conclusive result. You wouldn't have come to this forum if you could have moved on with the results you already have, now would you?

donny85 · « **Reply #12 on:** February 12, 2007, 06:13:53 am »

Quote from: RapidRod on February 12, 2007, 05:51:35 am

For you mentally? No! Not until you've received your conclusive result. You wouldn't have come to this forum if you could have moved on with the results you already have, now would you?

Sorry my english isnt good what do you mean but for mentally? No. I wonder if I would test positive over a broken condom. Also she was concerned as well so no doubt she got a checkup as well.

donny85 · « **Reply #13 on:** February 12, 2007, 06:14:57 am »

Quote from: RapidRod on February 12, 2007, 05:51:35 am

For you mentally? No! Not until you've received your conclusive result. You wouldn't have come to this forum if you could have moved on with the results you already have, now would you?

Should I suspect I could be positive over a few seconds of exposure?

RapidRod · « **Reply #14 on:** February 12, 2007, 06:18:01 am »

No, but do YOU?

donny85 · « **Reply #15 on:** February 12, 2007, 06:34:42 am »

Quote from: RapidRod on February 12, 2007, 06:18:01 am

No, but do YOU?

No as well. I think everything will be fine. I liked the woman and we were going to start a relationship. I am pretty sure everything will be ok. I gave her fluids I dont think she gave me some. But I am still concerned I am a negaitve person. Thanks for your help and support.

RapidRod · « **Reply #16 on:** February 12, 2007, 06:38:37 am »

You're welcome.

Andy Velez · « **Reply #17 on:** February 12, 2007, 09:27:39 am »

Donny, I've deleted your latest thread before you received any replies. Please keep all of your entries in this one thread. That way readers can follow the conversation and you will get more informed replies.

Thanks for your cooperation.

ACinKC · « **Reply #18 on:** February 12, 2007, 09:53:13 am »

Well I am almost astonished. It is refreshing to see someone on here not worrying about every little thing but at the same time its a little upsetting that you would let one person prevent you from getting your conclusive results.

I expect you to test negative. Edited to say what I meant. You should listen to Andy on this one. you should be using condoms until you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both reliably tested negative together. ( The previous advice was brought to you by Atripla, "When confusion isnt enough, try Atripla, and get that fog you seek! Sorry Andy!)

Andy Velez · « **Reply #19 on:** February 12, 2007, 10:53:42 am »

Whoa!

Even assuming you test negative, which is what I would expect to be the result, you should be using condoms everytime you have intercourse. Period.

Until such time as you may find yourself in a securely monogamous relationship in which both you and your partners reliably test negative together, until if and when that happens, you should be using a condom everytime you have intercourse. No exceptions.

Good luck to you.

Andy Velez · « **Reply #20 on:** February 12, 2007, 11:35:06 am »

Thanks for that clarification, AC.

As Ann always says, "condoms are a girl's best friend." To which I will add they do pretty well by the guys too. But only when they are used consistently.

Ann · « **Reply #21 on:** February 12, 2007, 01:31:51 pm »

Donny,

I've merged your new thread into your original thread (from September) - where you should post all your additional thoughts or questions. It helps us to help you when you keep all your additional thoughts or questions in one thread.

If you need help finding your thread when you come here, click on the "Show own posts" link under your name in the left-hand column of any forum page.

Please also read through the Welcome Thread so you can familiarize yourself with our Forum Posting Guidelines. Thank you for your cooperation.

Ann

donny85 · « **Reply #22 on:** February 13, 2007, 01:33:34 am »

Quote from: Andy Velez on February 12, 2007, 09:27:39 am

Donny, I've deleted your latest thread before you received any replies. Please keep all of your entries in this one thread. That way readers can follow the conversation and you will get more informed replies.

Thanks for your cooperation.

OK I will, Thank you very much for putting them together.

donny85 · « **Reply #23 on:** February 13, 2007, 01:35:10 am »

Quote from: Ann on February 12, 2007, 01:31:51 pm

Donny,

I've merged your new thread into your original thread (from September) - where you should post all your additional thoughts or questions. It helps us to help you when you keep all your additional thoughts or questions in one thread.

If you need help finding your thread when you come here, click on the "Show own posts" link under your name in the left-hand column of any forum page.

Please also read through the Welcome Thread so you can familiarize yourself with our Forum Posting Guidelines. Thank you for your cooperation.

Ann

Ok thank you very much

donny85 · « **Reply #24 on:** February 13, 2007, 01:39:06 am »

Hi, AlL
Thank you for your support. Yes I always use condoms. When I didnt I was ina relationship and we both got a checkup. I was being careful I was using a new brand of condoms and it broke. I tested at 8weeks everything is good. I want to get my 4 month down but I was afraid a little. I believe all of you who say I will test negative because you all know what you are talking about so I believe as well. I am not afraid anymore so I will go tomorrow to get tested. Should I be a little worried? My new GF former EX-GF doesnt like condoms and I try to use one on her and she grabbed it and through it away we argued for a longtime. Thank you all, Have a great day

RapidRod · « **Reply #25 on:** February 13, 2007, 04:43:47 am »

All you need it a 3 month conclusive test.

Ann · « **Reply #26 on:** February 13, 2007, 07:22:29 am »

donny,

Have you discussed with your girlfriend WHY she doesn't like condoms? It may be that they irritate her genitals. If this is the problem, it could be caused by one - or both - of two things. One, she may be sensitive to latex. Some people are. Two, she may be sensitive to the lube used on some condoms, especially if it is a spermicide. You can get polyurethane condoms and condoms without spermicidal lube. Check out the condom link in my signature line and browse through the links in the left hand column on that page. You'll find all the info on the different types of condoms.

If it's a matter of her thinking you are saying she might have an infection, you could always turn that around on her and say - "maybe I have something I don't want to give to you". That might make her stop and think about what she could be risking by having unprotected intercourse with ANYONE. Until you've tested together, you never can tell.

Ann

donny85 · « **Reply #27 on:** February 13, 2007, 08:02:02 am »

Quote from: Ann on February 13, 2007, 07:22:29 am

donny,

Have you discussed with your girlfriend WHY she doesn't like condoms? It may be that they irritate her genitals. If this is the problem, it could be caused by one - or both - of two things. One, she may be sensitive to latex. Some people are. Two, she may be sensitive to the lube used on some condoms, especially if it is a spermicide. You can get polyurethane condoms and condoms without spermicidal lube. Check out the condom link in my signature line and browse through the links in the left hand column on that page. You'll find all the info on the different types of condoms.

If it's a matter of her thinking you are saying she might have an infection, you could always turn that around on her and say - "maybe I have something I don't want to give to you". That might make her stop and think about what she could be risking by having unprotected intercourse with ANYONE. Until you've tested together, you never can tell.

Ann

Hi,
she just doesnt like condoms, I did tell her maybe I might have something but she doesnt care and I tried to use the condom but argument insued. she never uses condoms I dont know why. Yes we have tested together. We were together before and we both tested. Now we are together again so I restested at 8wks because I have sex with someone I will test again today to make it conclusive. I love condoms they are my protectors. The condom I used and broke on me was lifestlye I will never use that brand again. I always use Trojan.

Andy Velez · « **Reply #28 on:** February 13, 2007, 08:06:41 am »

"She doesn't like condoms."

Hmmmm.

Well, unless you feel certain the monogamy of your relationship is for real, I would rate health and life over someone's liking or not liking condoms.

You'll have to decide what you're prepared to accept and to risk.

RapidRod · « **Reply #29 on:** February 13, 2007, 08:08:33 am »

Pick a new girlfriend that does care enough about her health and yours.

Ann · « **Reply #30 on:** February 13, 2007, 09:03:35 am »

Donny,

Maybe you need to ask her point-blank if they irritate her. She might not feel comfortable saying so. If she says they don't irritate her skin, then as Andy says, you'll have to decide for yourself what level of risk you are prepared to take for this woman. Be smart, put your health first. You've only got one body, take care of it.

Ann

donny85 · « **Reply #31 on:** February 13, 2007, 11:11:37 am »

Quote from: Ann on February 13, 2007, 09:03:35 am

Donny,

Maybe you need to ask her point-blank if they irritate her. She might not feel comfortable saying so. If she says they don't irritate her skin, then as Andy says, you'll have to decide for yourself what level of risk you are prepared to take for this woman. Be smart, put your health first. You've only got one body, take care of it.

Ann

She never used condoms so she doesnt know what they feel like. But she is in good health unless she messed around on me. She will get a checkup soon as I am getting mine in a today well I was, but because of the snow they are closed. everytime I try to get tested something always come up. Well this woman and I have been together before she is in good health. I am worried about the woman before her, that I had sex with the condom broke about a 3 second exposure that is what I am worried. I am getting another test the 8 week test made me feel better mentally, but I do need another test just to get that 99.9 percent. I know that it really couldnt change after a 8 week test. I hope a broken condom doesnt change my life forever.

Ann · « **Reply #32 on:** February 13, 2007, 11:17:10 am »

Donny,

Please, do yourself a favour and don't have unprotected intercourse with her until she has also tested conclusively negative for hiv. Just because you've known her for a while doesn't mean you can assume she is hiv negative. If she's been having unprotected intercourse with others, she cannot possibly know her hiv status either, unless she has tested negative three months after her last unprotected encounter.

You might be able to slip a condom on without her knowing - and she probably won't be able to feel the difference. Just a thought...

Please protect yourself. Sex with a condom lasts only minutes, but hiv is forever.

Ann

ACinKC · « **Reply #33 on:** February 13, 2007, 11:28:36 am »

Listen to Ann on this one she speaks good magic!

donny85 · « **Reply #34 on:** February 13, 2007, 11:56:22 am »

Quote from: Ann on February 13, 2007, 11:17:10 am

Donny,

Please, do yourself a favour and don't have unprotected intercourse with her until she has also tested conclusively negative for hiv. Just because you've known her for a while doesn't mean you can assume she is hiv negative. If she's been having unprotected intercourse with others, she cannot possibly know her hiv status either, unless she has tested negative three months after her last unprotected encounter.

You might be able to slip a condom on without her knowing - and she probably won't be able to feel the difference. Just a thought...

Please protect yourself. Sex with a condom lasts only minutes, but hiv is forever.

Ann

Hi, ok I will

I hope she hasnt been cheating on me then. Yes the next time we have sex she will have already got a HIV Check up. Plus we plan on getting married. When we broke up she said she hasnt been with anyone I admitted that I did and told her about the broken condom. I dont think she would be with someone else. But I will use protection until her checkup comes. Do you believe I need to re-up my 2 checkup with a 3 month check up over a broken condom?

donny85 · « **Reply #35 on:** February 13, 2007, 11:57:14 am »

Quote from: ACinKC on February 13, 2007, 11:28:36 am

Listen to Ann on this one she speaks good magic!

Hey,
ACINKC

We are from the same place, the weather is very bad now they closed the clinic.

donny85 · « **Reply #36 on:** March 14, 2007, 02:05:45 am »

Hi,

I am wonder why do doctors tell me not to worry about Catching HIV if I have a short exposure like a broken condom? Even some doctors to me if I had unprotected sex with a girl the chances are still unlikely to catch it unless I have a STD or something? TV makes me believe you can catch it instantly. I even freak out when people get close to me or I see blood. I am a very scary person when it comes to HIV. I am even worried that I can get it by going to the hospital and getting a needle shot and that is why I hate needles. I dont understand anything about this. I worry myself so much. I have so many HIV test done and I still will worry. I will get a 6month done and after that I will still worry. I hate being so afraid. The condom broke because I was too afraid and I wasnt focus on the actual sex and I caused it to break up me. I notice instantly because I was already checking every few seconds for a broke condom and I felt it break.

RapidRod · « **Reply #37 on:** March 14, 2007, 02:56:22 am »

Seek out the help of a mental heath professional for your phobias.

donny85 · « **Reply #38 on:** March 14, 2007, 03:45:38 am »

Quote from: RapidRod on March 14, 2007, 02:56:22 am

Seek out the help of a mental heath professional for your phobias.

Where do I go to do that? I dont know why I am so afraid of HIV. I have always been like that. When I finally started having sex I worried even more.

RapidRod · « **Reply #39 on:** March 14, 2007, 04:02:15 am »

A mental health clinic would be a good place to start.

donny85 · « **Reply #40 on:** March 14, 2007, 11:35:32 am »

Quote from: RapidRod on March 14, 2007, 04:02:15 am

A mental health clinic would be a good place to start.

I dont know why all of a sudden I started worrying about HIV one day I just got afraid and worried everytime I have sex. Well I get tested tomorrow and I will get my results. It wont really matter I will still worry about it. Thanks for your help.

Ann · « **Reply #41 on:** March 14, 2007, 03:17:11 pm »

Donny,

You can ask your regular doctor for a referral to a counselor. You might not know why you have such a strong fear of hiv, but a counselor can help you discover why and help you learn how to overcome your fears. You don't have to live with such debilitating worries.

Ann

donny85 · « **Reply #42 on:** March 15, 2007, 01:29:44 am »

Quote from: Ann on March 14, 2007, 03:17:11 pm

Donny,

You can ask your regular doctor for a referral to a counselor. You might not know why you have such a strong fear of hiv, but a counselor can help you discover why and help you learn how to overcome your fears. You don't have to live with such debilitating worries.

Ann

Really they can help me solve my problem? I hope so I am getting another test tomorrow. 6 month test. I really need help I cant focus and I cant think right I am constantly living in fear. I am afraid to talk to people and I am afraid of so many things. Some day I am just down and out and I feel real sad and everything. Even after this test it wont change anything I will still worry. I will talk to a doctor for personal help. There is a mental health center near my place do you think they can help me out?

Ann · « **Reply #43 on:** March 15, 2007, 09:19:46 am »

donny,

As long as you are willing to work with the therapist/counselor, I'm sure they can help. If the first person you see doesn't seem to be a good "fit" with you, don't give up, ask to see someone else after giving the first one a couple sessions (don't decide on the basis of just one visit). There are plenty of people who have had the same or similar problem as you do and they have been helped through counseling. The key is your own willingness to overcoming your fears.

Good luck and remember, it IS possible to overcome this fear.

Ann

donny85 · « **Reply #44 on:** March 15, 2007, 10:18:54 am »

Quote from: Ann on March 15, 2007, 09:19:46 am

donny,

As long as you are willing to work with the therapist/counselor, I'm sure they can help. If the first person you see doesn't seem to be a good "fit" with you, don't give up, ask to see someone else after giving the first one a couple sessions (don't decide on the basis of just one visit). There are plenty of people who have had the same or similar problem as you do and they have been helped through counseling. The key is your own willingness to overcoming your fears.

Good luck and remember, it IS possible to overcome this fear.

Ann

Hi, Ann

Ok I will do this I will do it soon. I will get through this I know I can. Thank you so much for your help. I get tested in a few hours I will tell you the results. Thank you for your comfort. Have a great day.

donny85 · « **Reply #45 on:** March 16, 2007, 07:39:26 am »

Quote from: donny85 on March 15, 2007, 10:18:54 am

Hi, Ann

Ok I will do this I will do it soon. I will get through this I know I can. Thank you so much for your help. I get tested in a few hours I will tell you the results. Thank you for your comfort. Have a great day.

I tested negative at 6 months. I took the orasure HIV test. I am so happy and shock. I guess I told myself up for nothing. Thank all of you for your help and support. I probably would not have gotten through this without all of you being by my side.

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Author Topic: Rudeness/HIV test (Read 13760 times)