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Author Topic: Hi, boyfriend diagnosed 3 weeks ago  (Read 13639 times)

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Offline rrsgirl

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Hi, boyfriend diagnosed 3 weeks ago
« on: May 21, 2010, 02:30:02 pm »
Needless to say these last 3 weeks have been very hard. We never saw this coming. He has been sick for a long while, going to different drs and being tested for everything under the sun, but never for hiv because he doesn't fit any of the high risk catergories. He is heterosexual and never a drug user, we have been in a mognamus relationship for 4 1/2 years, and were friends for 5 years before that. He divorced 7 years ago, and I was divorced 5 years ago. On April 22 hewas finally sent to an infectious disease dr. who ordered a million more blood tests again except this time this dr. included the hiv test. Of course we never thought thats what it could be., but the next week when he went back to the dr it was postive! Also, since hes been sick so long and his Cd4 count was only 64 (don't know the viral number they didn't do it) the dr. said he must have been infected at least 10 years ago! He can't figure out how, he was married at that time and didn't cheat on his wife, although she did cheat on him towards the end of their marriage. He just started medicines this week and has been feeling pretty crappy. I am so scared for him, because I love him so much and It hurts me to see him so sick. Also, we have been having unprotected sex for the last 4 years, so i also have to worry if I'm infected. I was tested last week, and just got the results back and it was negative, but I have to go back at the end of June, beginning of July because our last unprotected time was the beginning of April.  How is it possible that I'm negative after 4 years of unprotected sex? What are the odds that my test will be negative again. sorry to so many questions.

Offline Ann

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Re: Hi, boyfriend diagnosed 3 weeks ago
« Reply #1 on: May 21, 2010, 03:17:03 pm »
Hi RR, welcome to the forums.

It can and does happen that sometimes partners can have unprotected intercourse, without knowing one of them is poz, but one partner remains negative. Count your blessings - you stand a good chance of being one of those couples.

You'll need to test at three months past your last unprotected encounter for a conclusive result, but a test at six weeks would be highly unlikely to change and go a long way to easing your mind(s).

The vast majority of people will seroconvert and test negative by six weeks, with the average time to seroconversion being only 22 days. A six week negative still needs to be confirmed at the three month point, but as I said, it is highly unlikely to change.

I always cringe when I hear a doctor putting a time-line on a patient's infection going by their CD4 and/or viral load count. Different people progress at different rates. Some people can go for years and years with good counts, while other may have their numbers crash (and get sick) fairly early on in their infection.

So don't assume that the doctor is right and he's had to have been infected for ten years. It could be much less. From what you've written, it probably is  less.

It's such a shame that people are still being diagnosed later in infection, despite having medical problems, because they don't fit into the so-called risk groups. Sexually speaking, the only true risk group is that group of people who engage or have engaged in unprotected intercourse. And let's face it, that's most of us. Being heterosexual is no protection against hiv infection and it's high time the medical profession realised that.

The meds today are fantastic - he should be feeling better soon and his numbers should go in the right directions - the CD4 up and the VL down, eventually to undetectable levels. He's going to be just fine so try to not worry so much.

Please make sure you read through the Lessons section of this website. You don't have to learn everything at once though, just have a look through. Feel free to come back here to ask questions about anything you read. We're here for you, both of you.

Ann



edited for clarity
« Last Edit: May 21, 2010, 03:23:12 pm by Ann »
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Moffie65

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Re: Hi, boyfriend diagnosed 3 weeks ago
« Reply #2 on: May 22, 2010, 11:55:18 am »
Just to quell some of your fears, I have been HIV/AIDS+ for the last 27 years.  I don't know why I have survived, but I have none the less, so please don't worry too much, because he has caught the infection and can now start therapy.  Please don't fear, HIV is no longer an unknown, and this site has all the information you will need.  :)
The Bible contains 6 admonishments to homosexuals,
and 362 to heterosexuals.
This doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals,
It's just that they need more supervision.
Lynn Lavne

Offline J.R.E.

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Re: Hi, boyfriend diagnosed 3 weeks ago
« Reply #3 on: May 22, 2010, 04:53:01 pm »
Hello Rrsgirl,

Welcome to the forums.  I understand your anxieties and fears.  Like Tim ( Moffie) I am also a long term survivor. I am on my 25th year of living with HIV, and just shy  of seven years, since my aids diagnosis.

  And Like your boyfriend,  I have a pretty good idea what he's going through.  In October of 2003 , I had my aids diagnosis.  At that time , my t-cells were at 16, and my viral load was at 500,000. Remember, this was also 18 years past the point of when I was  infected in 1985.  I had so many issues going on... weight loss, no appetite, shingles, pneumonia, Candida/thrush.  I was one of those that got cocky, and went into denial, around 1999. I blamed everything on anything I could, except for what was really going on within my body, even though I knew that's what it was.  I am happy to say that despite all, I am doing pretty well today. I am active and busy !

As Tim has stated, your boyfriend can now start on therapy, and his health should start improving. No one will tell you that it's going to be easy.   It will be a tough road, but hopefully with the proper support, and medications, and under the care of a qualified doctor,  his health will improve. Things will take time.

As Ann suggested, check out the lessons here on the site. there very informative, and will give you valuble information.


Remember to take care of yourself, and keep us updated----Ray


Edited for spelling
« Last Edit: May 23, 2010, 06:15:02 pm by J.R.E. »
Current Meds ; Viramune / Epzicom Eliquis, Diltiazem. Pravastatin 80mg, Ezetimibe. UPDATED 2/18/24
 Tested positive in 1985,.. In October of 2003, My t-cell count was 16, Viral load was over 500,000, Percentage at that time was 5%. I started on  HAART on October 24th, 2003.

 As of Oct 2nd, 2023, Viral load Undetectable.
CD 4 @676 /  CD4 % @ 18 %
Lymphocytes,absolute-3815 (within range)


72 YEARS YOUNG

Offline rrsgirl

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Re: Hi, boyfriend diagnosed 3 weeks ago
« Reply #4 on: May 22, 2010, 09:57:31 pm »
Thanks to everyone who replied to me, I am glad I decided to join here. I was told about this site from the nurse practioner at the clinic I was tested at. She was wonderful and really talked to us, much more than my boyfriends dr. I told her how I had no one to talk to about all this and she recomended this site.
I wanted to comment on what Ann said about drs. not diagnosing hiv in patients just based on the fact that they don't fit the high risk groups. My boyfriend has been trying to find out what was wrong since at least 2007! Hes been to a gastro dr, a dermatologist and a lung specialist. He was told  he had emphysema (which he doesnt have) even though he never smoked a day in his life. He had the flu, bronchitis and pneumonia last fall, lost 30 lbs, was anemic and had extreme fatigue,  ran fevers constantly and yet his dr. never put 2 and 2 together. It was actually the lung dr who sent him to the infectious disease dr who finally diagnosed him. I just wonder how easier it would be for him now if he had only been diagnosed sooner. I have another question...my boyfriend was wondering if he should say anything to his exwife. He doesn't really want to tell her because he thinks she would use this against him in some way. The nurse at the clinic said they could notify her anonmously. Would that be a good idea? He thinks she wouldn't know it was him because shes had at least 4 or 5 differnet men since they idivorced. Also, he has 10 year old twins, they were conceived though ivf. Would his sperm have been checked then since the dr thinks h e was infected 10 or more years ago? All these thoughts keep going thru my  mind. Thanks for letting me go on like this /

Offline Ann

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Re: Hi, boyfriend diagnosed 3 weeks ago
« Reply #5 on: May 23, 2010, 10:21:56 am »
Hi RR,

It has been standard procedure to check for hiv when undergoing IVF for many years now - pretty much for as long as the blood banks have been checked. So yes, he was probably tested then. It should be possible to find out from the clinic they used.

I was diagnosed nearly four years into my infection, despite having a horrific seroconversion illness. I'd never been so sick in my entire life and I knew it was something out of the ordinary. I couldn't even get out of bed to use the bathroom for a couple days and I had a fever of over 104F. (Between not being able to get out of bed to pee, and all the sweat that poured off me, I had to throw my mattress out when it was over - sorry if that's TMI - but it just goes to show how sick I was.) I was delirious through most of it. When I was finally well enough to see my doctor, he said, "It is probably just some virus that will run its course and go away". More like it would run its course and I'd go away!

I didn't have a computer or internet access back then (spring of '97) so I went to the library and started looking at those family-type medical books. The only thing that came close to what I experienced was Rheumatic fever (I had intense joint pain during my illness and have had joint problems ever since), but my doctor said I was too old for that.

I wasn't diagnosed until I was contacted by the local health department (Feb '01) and told I had been (anonymously) named as a partner of someone who had recently tested poz and I needed to test. And here I am. When I told my doctor and reminded him of the illness I'd had four years prior, he said, "Well, to tell you the truth, if you were a gay man and presented with the illness you had, the first thing I would have tested for was hiv."  !!!!!!!! I ripped him a new one, I can tell you.

I think notifying the ex-wife anonymously is a very good idea and one that should be followed through with. Definitely. Any other partners he may have had should also be anonymously contacted. If it weren't for anonymous notification, I might still not know my status as I've never really had any serious health problems that would warrant being investigated to the extent of an hiv test finally being ordered.

I've been poz for thirteen years now and I still don't need meds, but when I think of the onward transmissions I may have caused if I remained undiagnosed, it makes me feel sick. Lucky for all involved, I didn't infect anyone during the four years I didn't know, despite having unprotected. (I also used the anonymous system to notify any partners and was told they all tested negative - except for the man who originally named me.)

Eighteen months before my diagnosis, I entered into a serious relationship - and you know what relationships are like in the early days, we were at it like rabbits. The relationship lasted a total of eight years and he's still negative to this day. We only started using condoms after my diagnosis. Luck was on my side during that four years (and especially during that eighteen months), but if I had remained undiagnosed for the whole thirteen years, well, who knows.

I'm very much out about my hiv status and I'm forever reminding people that they should use condoms with anyone and get tested regularly. If my story either stops even just one infection, or causes just one person to discover their status before they get sick and/or infect others, then I'll be happy. This whole "risk-group" thing is something that is helping this pandemic to continue its spread. We need to get the message out that there is ONLY ONE true (sexual) risk group, and that risk group includes most of the planet.

Anyway, you two are not alone. I know it may feel like you're the only straight folks dealing with this, but that is far, far from the truth. We straights tend to hide our status more, so it really can be difficult to find others in the same situation, but we're out here in more numbers than most realise.

Is your partner on meds yet? If so, what's he on and how's he doing with them?

Ann


edited for clarity
« Last Edit: May 23, 2010, 10:53:37 am by Ann »
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline rrsgirl

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Re: Hi, boyfriend diagnosed 3 weeks ago
« Reply #6 on: May 23, 2010, 01:29:54 pm »
Yes, he just started taking the meds on Monday, May 17....he is taking Reyataz, Norvir and Truvada. His dr. also had him on bactrim since his May 6. So, hes really been on the hiv meds for less than a week. The very first day he ran a fever of 104 and was shaking uncontrollaby. We tried to get ahold of his dr. but he never called us back! The fever went down and on Tuesday he was fine...Then on Wed. he told me that he woke up at 2 am with fever and shaking again! He thinks its from taking the bactrim with the hiv meds since he only took the bactrim on Monday and Wed...so he called the dr. and he agreed that he should stop taking the bactrim. So, he was supposed to take it yesterday and he didn't and no fever or shakes! I'm worried though that he should be on some kind of propylactic antibiotic since his CD4 numbers are so low and he works in a school where there are tons of germs. Also, another side effect he was having was insomnia but he was taking the truvada at night because thats what his dr. told him to do. When we talked to the nurse at the clinic on Wed. when I went for my test results she told him he could take all 3 of the meds at once...and hes had no problem sleeping since then. I swear, the nurse at the clinic helped us more than his dr. does! My boyfriend is very optimistic, and I know its only been a week, but he seems to be looking and feeling better. I worry about him being alone though, because we don't live together. Its a financial thing because I get alimony and I would lose it if I lived with him. Especially like the other night when he told me he woke up with the fever and shakes and no one was there with him. Hopefully, in about 3 more yeas when my youngest graduates high school, the money won't dictate my life and we can  live toghether, because its hard this way. Just a couple more questions...will these meds help him gain weight because he lost a lot and we are tired of peoplle making comments about it, and arare the side effects I mentioned him having common onees and was the shaking and fevers probably because of the bactri m and what other antiobiotic can they give hime?

Offline Ann

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Re: Hi, boyfriend diagnosed 3 weeks ago
« Reply #7 on: May 23, 2010, 01:55:31 pm »
The combo your partner is on is my current combo of choice for when I need to start. There are better combos in the pipeline, so that may change, but as far as I'm concerned that's today's best for once-a-day dosing. Most people I know on this combo take all the meds in the morning.

The problems he's experiencing may be down to something called IRIS - immune reconstitution inflammatory syndrome - which basically means the meds are starting to work. Many people who start the meds with low numbers will experience this and it's temporary.

You're right, he should still be on a prophylactic antibiotic. Make sure he gets in touch with his doctor for a replacement. I doubt that the bactrim was the cause of his problems - fever and shaking don't sound like usual bactrim side-effects.

He should be able to start regaining the weight he's lost as the meds begin to get the virus under control. In the meantime, encourage him to eat whatever he wants and as much as he can. He should be eating as much protein as he can. Protein shakes and drinks can help here.

He WILL come back from this. It's gonna be ok.

Don't forget to take care of yourself too during this stressful time. It will get better.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline rrsgirl

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Re: Hi, boyfriend diagnosed 3 weeks ago
« Reply #8 on: May 27, 2010, 05:46:55 pm »
Well, my boyfriend went to his dr. today. Hes been on his meds now for 10 days, and Im not sure if its just wishful thinking but I can see a difference in him already! And the dr. said the fever and shakes were a reaction to the bactrim, so he gave him a prescription for a new antibiotic that he only takes once a week, cant remember the name of it right now, and he also said as soon as his count goes up, he won't have to take it anymore. The only thing worrying me  is he still isn't gaining weight, as a matter of fact he lost some in the last 2 weeks. He now weight 145, and his weight should be around 165 or 170. He also has an oral yeast infection. He told the dr. before how he had sores in his mouth, but the dr. didnt do anyhing about it. Today, he finally looked and diagnosed the yeast infction. He gave him a prescription and told him it should be gone in a week, will it really? I thinhk that might have something to do with him not being able to gain weight because he told me its been feeling like he has razor blades in his tongue. Secondly, is it contagious? Because I have been kissing him! Now,, he doesn't go back for another month..will they take more blood then to check his numbers? The dr. said it was too early today to check since hes only been taking the meds since May 17, but will it be enought time when he goes back the end of JUne? I'm just really anxious to see if the meds are really helping him as much as they seem to be. Things are slowly settinling down, I/m not as crazed as I was, especially since he seems better... now I just want to get my 3 month test at the end of June, so I can stop worrying about that...my boyfriend tells me I worry too much, and I shouldn't because I already tested negative last week, but it still in the back of my mind...

Offline Ann

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Re: Hi, boyfriend diagnosed 3 weeks ago
« Reply #9 on: May 28, 2010, 08:25:20 am »
Hi RR,

It's not unusual for a person to start feeling better within a week or so of starting meds. Glad to hear your bf is experiencing this.

He will be able to go off the prophylactic antibiotic when his counts go over 200 and stay there for a few months - usually three to six. I hope the switch stops the fever and shaking - keep us posted on that score. If it doesn't make a difference within a few days, call the doctor and let him know.

Oral thrush will certainly contribute to weight loss (and so will the stress of being newly diagnosed) as it IS painful. His doctor presumable prescribed Fluconazole tablets or an anti-fungal lozenge or liquid. Provided he follows the prescription, it should indeed be gone within a week. It should start getting better within a day or two, but make sure he finishes the script and doesn't just stop when it feels better. You may want to read our lesson on thrush.

You should not become infected with his thrush as you have a normal, healthy immune system. We all have the organism (candidiasis) that causes thrush on and in our bodies at all times. It is only when a compromised immune system or antibiotic use causes an overgrowth. Antibiotics can cause thrush because they also kill off our friendly bacteria. This friendly bacteria keeps our naturally occurring candidiasis in check and antibiotics do not discriminate when it comes to killing bacteria.

Yes, they will most likely take blood to check his numbers at his next appointment. It's the usual standard of care to check one month after starting treatment.

It sounds like your test last week was six weeks or more since your last unprotected encounter - and a negative test at six weeks or more is unlikely to change at the three month point. You should relax - and good luck at the end of June.

Hugs,
Ann
« Last Edit: May 28, 2010, 08:33:37 am by Ann »
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline rrsgirl

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Re: Hi, boyfriend diagnosed 3 weeks ago
« Reply #10 on: June 01, 2010, 10:02:33 am »
Hi..its me again. My boyfriend (who I'll just call R) has been on meds for 2 weeks now, and he is feeling almost like his old self! The medication for the thrush is helping too, as its almost gone. We had a great weekend, went to a baseball game, and a picnic yesterday..which brings me to my next question. From things I have read, I don't think that he should be drinking with the medication he is taking. He loves his beer though, and I got a little upset with him and we had an argument on Saturday night because I felt he drank too much. He had 2 beers at the ballgame too, and alot at the picnic yesterday. I don't want to have to be a nag and act like Im his mother or somehting., but can't this affect his liver, which he doesn't need on top of everything else? Can anyone answer this for me and give me some info to back it up? I'm worried about this drinking all of a sudden, otherwise everything is going great.

Offline Ann

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Re: Hi, boyfriend diagnosed 3 weeks ago
« Reply #11 on: June 01, 2010, 10:07:41 am »
RR,

As long as he isn't getting sick when he drinks (for some, drinking plus meds = copious puking) and as long as he isn't remembering to take his meds because of drinking, a few beers are not going to do him any harm. 

If having a few beers during a ballgame relaxes him, then let him be.

Of course if he's getting absolutely shit-faced every day, that's another matter. But letting loose now and then isn't going to hurt him.

All things in moderation, including moderation.
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Hellraiser

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Re: Hi, boyfriend diagnosed 3 weeks ago
« Reply #12 on: June 01, 2010, 10:11:02 am »
Hi..its me again. My boyfriend (who I'll just call R) has been on meds for 2 weeks now, and he is feeling almost like his old self! The medication for the thrush is helping too, as its almost gone. We had a great weekend, went to a baseball game, and a picnic yesterday..which brings me to my next question. From things I have read, I don't think that he should be drinking with the medication he is taking. He loves his beer though, and I got a little upset with him and we had an argument on Saturday night because I felt he drank too much. He had 2 beers at the ballgame too, and alot at the picnic yesterday. I don't want to have to be a nag and act like Im his mother or somehting., but can't this affect his liver, which he doesn't need on top of everything else? Can anyone answer this for me and give me some info to back it up? I'm worried about this drinking all of a sudden, otherwise everything is going great.

Shortly after diagnosis I became very health conscious and stopped doing anything I considered unhealthy.  I stopped drinking, started eating natural foods, starting going to bed at 10:00pm., etc.  If your boyfriends want to do this more power to him, but I don't think you'll be able to change his mind for him.  If he's not doing so well what with the weight loss and everything else going on in his life I'd be a little concerned he didn't want to take better care of himself.

The once a week antibiotic might be Azithromycin, although that is not a replacement for Bactrim.  Bactrim is replaced by Mepron (Atovaquone) or Dapsone.

Offline rrsgirl

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Re: Hi, boyfriend diagnosed 3 weeks ago
« Reply #13 on: June 01, 2010, 02:39:41 pm »
Thank you for your replies. I guess its really my problem, I'm being really hyper viligant about his health for some reason. I think its because he has been so sick for such a long time, and now that we finally know the cause and I can see him getting better, I don't want anything else to happen. He actually doesn't get sick from drinking, he is very concientious about taking his meds..and he doesn't get totally drunk every day, usually only drinks on the weekends , and this weekend was an exception because of the holiday we did more and he had more oppurtunities to drink , so I guess I need to calm down. It helps to post here and get feedback, kind of puts it in perspective.
Quote
All things in moderation, including moderation.

I like that quote..I'm going to try to remember that.

Offline rrsgirl

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Re: Hi, boyfriend diagnosed 3 weeks ago
« Reply #14 on: June 05, 2010, 12:26:58 pm »
Hello again...im back with another question. My boyfriend has gout which hasn't bothered him in awhile, but now that hes eating better again, he mustve eaten something he shouldn't have that brought on an attack of his gout. He woke up with his big toe swollen and throbbing. I wanted him to wait and call his dr. before he took the gout medicne but he was in too much pain to wait so he started taking it. Is it alright to mix the gout medicne (indocin) with his hiv meds (norvir, reyataz, and truvada)? He said since it didn't seem to cause any problems when he took it last night, hes just going to keep taking it without calling the dr. Hes just so stubborn sometimes, and Im tired of being a nag? Is this safe?

Offline Ann

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Re: Hi, boyfriend diagnosed 3 weeks ago
« Reply #15 on: June 05, 2010, 12:35:36 pm »
You can check for drug interactions by using the Check My Meds tool provided by AIDSmeds.com. You can also check at the HIV-Drug Interactions website provided by the University of Liverpool.

My hiv doc - Saye Khoo - is one of the hiv pharmacologists responsible for the content there. You can even see a picture of him by clicking on the "meet the team" button in the "about us" drop-down menu attached to the top banner. He's cute as a button! :)

Um, if you're tired of being a nag, there's a simple solution - don't nag! ;)

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline rrsgirl

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Re: Hi, boyfriend diagnosed 3 weeks ago
« Reply #16 on: June 10, 2010, 09:53:15 am »
Well, apparently he shouldn't have been taking the indocin with his meds. He didn't have any really bad reaction, but the gout medicine didn't work at all. He ended up by Monday with it in his other foot, knee and wrist and hand. Couldn't walk or even drive. So, he finally called his dr. and got yelled at. His pharmacist also told him to never do that again, if he has questions about drug interactions to just call him, anytime! That's a relief, because I think he'll believe him more than me next time. Anyway, the dr. put him on steroids on Monday, and the gout attack is almost gone. Oh, and he also has a big red sty in his one eye..is that from the HIV? The dr. told him just to put warm compresses on it. We had a good laugh when he was limping around with this one arm unusable, and his one eye closed. Because sometimes you just have to laugh or you'll just cry! On another note, I had a strange comment made to me by his sister...(his family is the only one he has disclosed his status to)..she told me she was proud of me for staying with him...when I said to her "what do you mean, why wouldn't I? I love him, and his diagnose doesn't change that", she said because a lot of women wouldn't. I don't whether I should be offended or complimented by that. I am proud of him because has such a great attitude, and he is still the same person I fell in love with, I don't feel like I'm doing anything special just because I'm "staying"with him! People that don't know his status have always told us that we have a great relationship because we treat each other with respect, and I guess what I'm trying to say is I don't want pity because nothing has really changed since we found out about him being HIV positive. Has any other couples like us (I'm Negative, hes positive) ex perinced comments like this?

Offline Ann

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Re: Hi, boyfriend diagnosed 3 weeks ago
« Reply #17 on: June 10, 2010, 10:26:14 am »
What your sister-in-law said is just a reflection on her own thoughts. She's basically saying that if her significant other were to be diagnosed with hiv, she would probably run a mile.

I used to be with a negative guy and he occasionally got comments like that - and he'd say pretty much the same as you. If the person asking the question had a partner, he'd ask if they would leave their partner if they unexpected tested poz. That usually lead to some flustered back-tracking.

Glad to hear your fella got the correct advice from his doctor and pharmacist. When in doubt, it's always best to give them a call.

Sties are not hiv related. Anyone can get them.   
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Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline mecch

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Re: Hi, boyfriend diagnosed 3 weeks ago
« Reply #18 on: June 10, 2010, 11:11:22 am »
When things settle down, it might be nice to probe his sister a bit more and see if she really would leaver her husband (is she married?) or a boyfriend because he got sick. She's a candidate for an education, when the time is right. 
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline rrsgirl

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Re: Hi, boyfriend diagnosed 3 weeks ago
« Reply #19 on: June 16, 2010, 09:55:52 am »
Well, after a round of steroids, the gout is not subsiding. He still has it in his left hand (and hes left handed)! I don't think it helps that over the weekend he again drank beer. Beer is one of the top things NOT to drink with gout. I''m not saying anything anymore though. Like I told him, if he dosent take care of himself, I cant do it for him. Anyway, even though hes had gout for over 15 years, he hasnt had a flare up in a long time, could being on the meds have something to do with these flares hes having now? And whatever it is on his eye is just getting worse..its a big red lump. The dr. said it was a sty, but it doesn;t look to me like any sty I've ever seen. He says hes going to call the dr. again by Friday if it doesn't get better. Has anyone had anyhing like this or know what it could be? Its just a shame that he's feeling better since starting his meds a month ago, but the gout and this eye problem is getting him down.

Offline Ann

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Re: Hi, boyfriend diagnosed 3 weeks ago
« Reply #20 on: June 16, 2010, 10:09:16 am »
There is some evidence as to a connection between ritonavir (aka Norvir) and gout. He may want to discuss this with his doctor and have his uric acid levels checked.

http://www.healthinplainenglish.com/health/musculoskeletal/gout/research/ritonavir.htm
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline rrsgirl

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Re: Hi, boyfriend diagnosed 3 weeks ago
« Reply #21 on: June 17, 2010, 10:55:47 am »
Thank you Ann, I'm going to print that out for him, so he can take it and show it to his dr. at his next appointment. I told him about it, but he really feels good on the meds hes taking and wouldn't want to switch anything, but maybe just knowing his uric acid level will help the dr. decide what to do. The gout is still in his hand and foot, really swollen, and He's calling his general dr. today about the sty in his eye, it has gotten really huge, and now he's getting another one in his other eye (if they really are stys, I'm not sure)..he's just getting really discouraged.

Offline rrsgirl

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Re: Hi, boyfriend diagnosed 3 weeks ago
« Reply #22 on: June 18, 2010, 10:32:10 am »
Its one thing after another! So, yesterday R called his regular dr. (not his ID dr.) about his eyes, and the dr. prescribed Tobrex, an ointment that he was to put on his eyes. Well, after using it yesterday a couple times and this morning, his whole face is broken out in a rash and little pimples. So, he called the dr. (who hasn't called him back yet), and went to his pharmacist, who told him it looks like an allergic reaction, but he's not sure. He gave him benadryl to take. Meanwhile, hes going to call his ID dr. too. The pharmacist thought it could also be a reaction from being in the sun with all his meds he's taking. (the pharmacist knows hes HIV pos). Its almost getting to be too much, every day theres something else.  Hes been getting really down from all this, and he had such a positve attitude, but especially when his appearance is involved, (he is so self concious about his face and eyes now), and people commenting on it at work today. Could this rash be a side effect from his meds, even though hes been taking them for a month?

Offline rrsgirl

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Re: Hi, boyfriend diagnosed 3 weeks ago
« Reply #23 on: June 21, 2010, 09:48:54 pm »
Well, just got back from the dr. and pharmacy with my boyfriend. The gout has gotten so bad he cannot even walk, I had to push him around in a wheelchair today which has really gotten to him., he is in so much pain. He is on steroids again and percocet. His ID dr called him back today and says he wants to see him on Thurs, but he wants him to stop his meds immediately. R said he isn't going to stop until the ID dr. sees him, because aside from the gout and the slight rash, he feels better than he has in a long time. Also, his general dr. wants the ID dr. to test his uric acid level and he wants to prescribe a medicne ( if forget the name) to take daily to keep his uric acid level low and prevent these gout attacks. I am so confused anymore, he wants my advice about what he should do, but everyday something else just seems to happen to him and I am overwhelmed, I can't even iimagine what hes going through. Should he stop the meds, or keep taking them? What can happen if he misses 2 days? I realy don't understand the ID drs decision.

 


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