Scared after exposure

[Scared450]

Greetings
For past 2 weeks I'm so depressed and anxious of possible exposure
I'm 25 years male and married , I cheated on my wife and risk was protected vaginal sex less than 3 minutes I wore 2 pair of condom. Fingerings her vagina with middle finger though I had pulled hangnail on my thump skin was broke but not that deep and actively bleeding but skin was broken , my thump never enter her vagina sorry for being graphic but I'm not sure if it touch vaginal fluids outside, lips kissing with saliva , suck her nipples but did not taste milk
Symptoms after 2 weeks
Flu like symptoms and high grade fever I was recovered after 3 days then 4 days later relapse of same symptoms but this time with sore throat that comes and go , runny nose ,sneezing, fever that get worse during the day when it's hot , muscle pain, . To add on anxiety 7 days after we had sex with my wife she started showing same symptoms as mine with skin Rash that appear and dissapear I thought its hit rush. I rush to clinic to get hiv test lab blood drawn from vein dr told me it also test antigen and other test including complete blood count . Hiv was negative after 14 days of exposure  dr told CBC was all within range no indication of viral infection but bacterial infection he told me your fine no further testing and  I also asked for PCR testing bt it was not available.  I'm suffering gerd acidic reflux attack for quite sometimes now . Maybe gerd is causing my current symptoms but why my wife has similar symptoms I'm so worried that I don't sleep for 5 nights I failed to mention we both have sore throat . Do you think I'm really infected , does ARS symptoms have a relapse like dissapear and comes back . Is this because of guilt and looking after every symptoms . Can I trust result and stop chasing hiv and look for what causing my symptoms. Should I stop looking after my wife symptoms to justify I infected her but odds of test result changing after 4 weeks. I'm 100% honest of my exposure

[Jim Allen]

Hiya.

I don't know what you mean by you wore two condoms. If you mean you put two condoms on at the same time, then stop doing that!

In short, you fingered this woman, had intercourse with condoms, kissed and sucked her nipples, and so had no HIV risk from the encounter; tested anyways, although not needed and too soon if it was needed and as expected, the result was non-reactive.

You had plenty of risk for easier to transmit STIs but did not get HIV from the cheating encounter. Move on with your life, use condoms for any intercourse, and as you are sexually active, get an STI screening yearly out of standard routine.

suck her nipples but did not taste milk

I presume the fear here is because of the breastfeeding HIV risk. So the entire mechanics of breastfeeding and HIV transmission means at its peak for an infant via oral digestion with their underdeveloped immune system and developing tissue, the odds of acquiring HIV is about 0.00064 per litre of breast milk ingested. You, however, are an adult, not an infant, and neither are you consuming large volumes, at worst a drop, so you had zero HIV risk from this activity.

Fingerings her vagina with middle finger though I had pulled hangnail on my thump skin was broke but not that deep and actively bleeding but skin was broken , my thump never enter her vagina sorry for being graphic but I'm not sure if it touch vaginal fluids outside

Fingering isn't an HIV concern, and broken skin, hangnail, etc, makes no difference.
Minor cuts, scrapes and day-to-day wounds lack a direct route needed for HIV to infect, and that's only one of the many barriers to this concern and contact with fluids on your hands. Anyhow, there has never been a documented case of HIV transmission via fingering, and you will not be the world's first; it's not an HIV risk.

lips kissing with saliva

Saliva does not contain viable HIV; in fact, it is hostile towards HIV, breaking down the receptors needed by HIV to infect; you are not going to acquire HIV from saliva or a kiss. Not an HIV risk to you.

protected vaginal sex less than 3 minutes

HIV can't be transmitted through an intact latex or polyurethane condom. Unless a condom obviously fails during intercourse, there is no reason to be stressing or testing for HIV outside the standard yearly HIV screening.

my wife

I'll mention the same thing I always do: If you engage in condomless sex with your partner, you are obviously at risk of acquiring HIV. In relationships, condomless sex is often based on trust or past test results; however, this does not prevent HIV, so if condomless sex does occur, you should consider testing more frequently and give far more thought to PrEP.

Here's what you need to know to reduce your HIV risks:
Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse correctly and consistently, with no exceptions. Consider talking to your healthcare provider about PrEP as an additional layer of protection against HIV

Keep in mind that some sexual practices described as safe in terms of acquiring HIV still pose a risk for other easier-acquired STIs. So please do get tested at least yearly for STIs, including but not limited to HIV, and more frequently if condomless intercourse occurs.

Also, note that it is possible to have an STI and show no signs or symptoms; testing is the only way to know.

Kind regards

Jim

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[Scared450]

Thank you Jim. For accessing my risk , I was having bad time in my relationship, surfing Internet looking for info to cools myself & I met my wife only this week we have been living different city for over a year now. And start complaining of symptoms which she told she never had b4 I met her & my heart drops everytime i see her looking for mouth sore or rashes. Currently I'm admitted ER FOR gerd acid reflux and seriously ill. I have seen countless people in the site complaining about symptoms and almost all testing negative are clear indication I should ignore this nomatter how tempting it is. And move on my life
 I had hiv phobia Inthe past and done several hiv test for No risk event ,frontage
Due think I needed another test at 4 weeks to put this behind me or look for counselling session Thank you Jim

[Jim Allen]

I am sorry to hear you are unwell, and I hope you feel better.

You had no HIV risk from the cheating encounter; it's just irrational fear, and no HIV testing is needed over the cheating event posted here, and it will not help you.

Work with your psychiatrist on the continued HIV phobia challenges, and use condoms even if you have sex with your wife or don't, but then accept the greater risks. Get an STI screening at least yearly.

[Scared450]

Hey Jim
What I failed to mention was hangnail I pulled with force and skin was broken and wheeping also very painful. If comes into contact or rubs with vaginal fluids outside or For transmission to occur it requires open gaping wounds active bleeding with prolong contact of infected fluids . Clarify for me one last time .

[Jim Allen]

Asked and answered already.  Re-read my answer posted to you previously.

Move on with your life!