Author Topic: I Have an Anxiety Disorder (Read 6739 times)

bear60 · « **on:** March 31, 2007, 11:15:13 am »

My doctor has diagnosed an anxiety disorder as being part of my problem. Alcohol and drug abuse as well as smoking went along with it. Since I have been on medication to treat the anxiety and to stop smoking, things have improved but I am still not out of the woods. It seems that I have little or no interest in leaving the house. I overeat and indulge in sweets (kind of like smoking). So since I have quit smoking I have gained 20 pounds.
I am writing this because I know there are other people here who are dealing with the same or similar problems. Recognizing the problem may be the first step to dealing with it. Recognizing the problem may not be easy. If you are like me you will have an excuse for anything. "I am too tired to leave the house. I need my rest. My arm hurts. ....etc"
Here is the source of my thoughts........
"People with generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) go through the day filled with exaggerated worry and tension, even though there is little or nothing to provoke it
They can't relax, startle easily, and have difficulty concentrating. Often they have trouble falling asleep or staying asleep. Physical symptoms that often accompany the anxiety include fatigue, headaches, muscle tension, muscle aches, difficulty swallowing, trembling, twitching, irritability, sweating, nausea, lightheadedness, having to go to the bathroom frequently, feeling out of breath, and hot flashes.
Other anxiety disorders, depression, or substance abuse often accompany GAD, which rarely occurs alone. GAD is commonly treated with medication or cognitive-behavioral therapy, but co-occurring conditions must also be treated using the appropriate therapies.
If an anxiety disorder is diagnosed, the type of disorder or the combination of disorders that are present must be identified, as well as any coexisting conditions, such as depression or substance abuse. Sometimes alcoholism, depression, or other coexisting conditions have such a strong effect on the individual that treating the anxiety disorder must wait until the coexisting conditions are brought under control

http://www.nimh.nih.gov/publicat/anxiety.cfm#anx7 "

mjmel · « **Reply #1 on:** March 31, 2007, 11:22:47 am »

You are correct in assumptions about others needing to read and benefit from your post. Thanks for sharing.
xxx,
Mike

Miss Philicia · « **Reply #2 on:** March 31, 2007, 11:34:31 am »

Hey Joel, we were supposed to chat about this and never did. Now I see why. I can't remember if I told you but I think I did: I've had an anxiety order for the past 7 years though in the last couple of years I've become worlds better at managing it. In fact, I can survive without any medication for it at all, so that's a huge change. Now, if there was something magic that I did that I could point to about it I would, but there's not really. It's a slow learning process to talk you out of the more intense anxiety areas and I'm sure everyone is different, but while medication will treat the symptoms and is quite efficient if you use a benzo you really need to address the cause by going to a good therapist who will work with cognitive behavioral stuff.

Best of luck... I'm only a phone call away

bear60 · « **Reply #3 on:** March 31, 2007, 12:05:36 pm »

Thank you for being there Philly!!!!

scotttt · « **Reply #4 on:** March 31, 2007, 12:15:19 pm »

Hey Bear60,

I too have dealt with anxiety related issues and panic attacks. I have found that cognitive behavioral techniques such as rational emotive behavioral therapy helped quite a bit. The cool thing about this type of therapy is that it is a form of short term therapy, so cost issues are minimized.

Many therapists use these techniques.

Take care,

Scott

Lisa · « **Reply #5 on:** March 31, 2007, 12:34:03 pm »

Thank you Bear,
You have just described me to a tee. Despite being on a boatload of antidepressants, it seems they really do nothing. I am fairly adept at keeping myself on an even keel, and I do recognize my warning signs, but that doesn't keep me from being completely overwhelmed if something stressful pops up.
Case in point; From the moment I got the phone call a couple of weeks ago, about the accident my son and granddaughter were in(and all of the ensuing taumas) my head has gone completely out the window. I haven't been around in the forums much, because I am having difficulty concentrating even enough to read, comprehend, and post.
Of course, I can't see anyone about it, because I am next best thing to indigent. No insurance, refused by medicaid etc. So I have learned how to keep the worst of it at bay, but I realize that I'm no where near what I'm capable of.
My head just won't work right, and in my more lucid moments I understand this. That just fuels the fire more. ~sigh~
That is the main reason why many of my posts seem sophomoric sometimes, and it is infinitely frustrating.

bear60 · « **Reply #6 on:** March 31, 2007, 12:39:09 pm »

I can hardly type this because of the tears in my eyes Lisa. I feel for you honey. Hang in there.

Miss Philicia · « **Reply #7 on:** March 31, 2007, 01:06:50 pm »

Hey Lisa, I agree with you on the antidepressants. I think a lot of doctors LOVE to lump the severely anxiety ridden in with the depressed, and to me it's flip sides of the coin. Anti-depressants seem to actually make me WORSE... the SSRI's aggravate my anxiety. My first shrink, who was my best one, warned me about this and he was correct. I finally learned not to take them and just take the anxiety meds, though currently I'm off ALL of it.

I'm also convinced that in terms of HIV a lot of the anxiety is what a combat soldier feels after war. My first 8 years of HIV I did not have any issues, but after a certain point I seemed to explode and I think it was like a delayed post-traumatic stress or something. Makes sense to me anyway.

Dragonette · « **Reply #8 on:** March 31, 2007, 01:23:40 pm »

H Beari,

I agree that anxiety walks hand in hand with HIV, in fact this is what I referred to in my post "hypochondriach?". I am not just anxious about lipo and OIs, I am anxious about EVERYTHING. Would you believe if I told you I just came back from the supermarket, my bill was 13.13 Euro, and then a black cat crossed the road and made me have to stop my bike, and I got anxious over that?! I can't complain about my life, it's all good, awsome really, and that makes me even more anxious...

But having HIV (and other issues) is all good cause fo anxiety... it's like in Leaving Las Vegas, when the Russian pimp gets more and more paranoid and starts listening to the walls, and finally he gets annihilated by a group of gangsters... just because you are paranoid it doesn't mean no one is chasing you... just because you have anxiety disorder (I don't like the term disorder), it doesn't mean there is nothing to get anxious about.

To me the only things that help are meditation, sport, and hugs from my boyfriend. Talking helps too whether to my social worker, friends, or online. Smoking and overeating help only temporarily, and then it comes back with a vengence.

Another thing (that we could try maybe in the forums) is write the scenarios that we are anxious about. I find that trying to subdue the anxiety makes it worse, and if I "air" my fears and put them in words, there is relief.

I am up for it if you are...

bear60 · « **Reply #9 on:** March 31, 2007, 01:54:36 pm »

Quote Dragonette: Another thing (that we could try maybe in the forums) is write the scenarios that we are anxious about. I find that trying to subdue the anxiety makes it worse, and if I "air" my fears and put them in words, there is relief.
..............................................
Hi Dragon: i believe we do that all the time here in the forums. In fact you and I have just written about it.

Miss Philicia · « **Reply #10 on:** March 31, 2007, 02:05:35 pm »

If anyone here is into "self help" books on this my shrink had me buy Dr. David Burns "The Feeling Good Book" (dreadful title, isn't it?) and supposedly it's viewed as quite authoritative in the behavioral therapy side. Look into it if you want to try and address this on your own.

puertorico2006 · « **Reply #11 on:** March 31, 2007, 02:19:46 pm »

i hate anxiety...im currently seeing a psychologist about this problem....it sucks sometimes you cant breathe, sometimes you cant sleep (happens a lot), makes you tired during the day and then your nonfunctional...

I dont want to be on benzos though so i guess im screwed (although i do have the occasional xanax when necessary lol)

hope whatever you decide to do (therapy, antidepressants, antianxietys) work for you :-D

Dragonette · « **Reply #12 on:** March 31, 2007, 03:41:41 pm »

Of course the forums are an outlet but I meant in a more direct way, like making a list of them, it kinda puts irrational thoughts into perspective.

I am nervous because I am flying home tomorrow and have to meet my friends and family and that makes me anxious. It's been months and years, in some cases, since I saw them. People have had babies, got married (in the reverse direction mostly)... and I was diagnosed with HIV. It is holiday season so I will not be able to avoid people. Although I have outed myself to my close friends, and to my collegues, friends, bosses and boyfriend in the Netherlands, and of course to my folks and brother, now I will be faced with a lot of people who don't know, and I do not intend to tell them. To them it is already scandalous that I am 33 and single and dating a "gentile".

I guess that is why I use the forums more now and have all these thoughts that people can "tell" when they see me. I imagine that people who haven't seen me in ages will definatly be able to tell. but I just put on a lot of makeup, that made me look good, then took it off, so I feel more secure (advantages of being a woman). I have already decided on an answer to nosy relatives who will pick on me about my biological clock: I will just tell them I am infertile. That should shut them up!

DanielMark · « **Reply #13 on:** March 31, 2007, 04:04:24 pm »

Oh yes, anxiety disorder. I live with this day and night.

My psychotherapist with whom I am involved in ongoing therapy has me on a low dose sedative (as needed) during the day and a higher dosage at bedtime. I've seen people post about extraordinary dreams on certain HIV meds, well let me tell you, what I take makes for a trip and a half. We tried various anti depressants over the years and found NONE of them did anything.

Bear,

The over consumption of alcohol is something I used for years to self-medicate my condition. Trouble is, it only caused more problems when I sobered up each time. I managed to get that under control since 1987, although I won't say getting blotto now and then isn't entirely off my list. But it’s very rarely I allow myself to do that.

The Biology of Anxiety and Depression

Both anxiety and depression share the same stress pathway. In an article in the Sept 2003 Scientific American, Robert Sapolsky PhD of Stanford writes on how the fight or flight response underpins both anxiety and depression.

from: http://www.mcmanweb.com/anxiety.htm

Daniel

bear60 · « **Reply #14 on:** March 31, 2007, 04:40:51 pm »

quote Dragonette: " but I meant in a more direct way, like making a list of them, "
......................................
Dragon.....I kind of thought that's what you meant. Frankly I am not ready for that. If you feel you can make a list, please do. I am sure you will get plenty of support.

Dragonette · « **Reply #15 on:** March 31, 2007, 05:06:32 pm »

There is something that I thought of, and I will put it out there with the risk that you think me completely nuts.

I will not go into details, but I have had a tough life, to the extent that the HIV ordeal while being one of the toughest things was not the most awful that happened. And I wonder, could it be that this stress/anxiety, to some extent, is good for us? I know everyone says how harmful stress is, but stress is all that I know and I have done pretty good, considering (again i will not explain this but you have to believe me); and you, Bear, are in awsome shape (knock on wood). WITH the smoking, booze (were there drugs too? I am not sure) and anxiety. Certainly toxins are not good for us nor are stress, heartache and anxiety, but maybe.... maybe a certain levels of anxiety & stress is a survival mechnanisms of our body/mind, and maybe, on a deep animal instinct level, there is a logic to it, and a reason/purpose, and it's not a "disorder" but something that is saving us.

I'd like to think that anyway. What do you think?

And about my list... it's harder than I thought, but I think it all boils down to being alone or losing people/animals that I love. That's it really. All the rest is superficial. I care what I look like and how much money I have and how others see me, sure, but only as a means to an end. I do fear physical suffering, but I fear loneliness more. I fear being sick, but I fear being sick alone more, so this is my achilles heel.

bear60 · « **Reply #16 on:** March 31, 2007, 05:34:51 pm »

I suppose most of us should be thankful for what we have and just shut up about the rest. But ....sometimes its hard. No matter how healthy I may be, my life is still constantly affected by HIV.
Dragon: I sent u a PM.

Dragonette · « **Reply #17 on:** March 31, 2007, 05:56:26 pm »

I sent you a reply.
Hugs

purplerain · « **Reply #18 on:** April 01, 2007, 03:45:34 am »

Hey Bear. I feel 4 U and what your going thru and just know that your not the only one. I myself deal with anxiety depression drugs alcohol it seems like the list goes on and on and then last year they added the "guess what now u get 2 deal with hiv as well". There are great treatments out there 4 what we are going thru some of which have already been mentioned. One of the hardest things 4 people in our situation is the willingness 2 do what is suggested so If there is anything I can add 2 the pot is please be willing 2 try things that are thrown your way. A big part of getting better from anything is the desire and the dedication 2 do what it takes.
If U ever need 2 talk 2 someone who knows what your going thru send me a pm and I can shoot U my number or whatever and no matter what
HANG IN THERE

Big Hugz and congrats on not smoking keep up the good work
Jag

Nico · « **Reply #19 on:** April 01, 2007, 02:32:55 pm »

Bear
You are in good company it seems. I was diagnosed with SAD (social anxiety disorder) in 1988 same year I quit smoking. Had all the panic attacks, stayed in doors, could not go to the store. I always planned my shopping when nobody would be in a store or if I got an attack, I would just leave the cart and flee to my car.

I was placed on xanax and am addicted to it, but it does work and I don't abuse the drug and sometimes take less than the 2.5 mg daily dose. It is quite high, but it keeps me even most of the time. I can still get attacks if placed in the right situation.

Hang in there and Lisa a big hug for you!

Roger

bear60 · « **Reply #20 on:** April 01, 2007, 02:48:58 pm »

Good luck to you too Nico...and Purplerain. Thanks.

Val · « **Reply #21 on:** April 01, 2007, 05:55:15 pm »

Bear,
I refrained from posting in your thread for a while, for I consider myself very lucky in this sense. I felt exactly the same way you do twice in my long battle with Hiv. Both times, though, I managed to get out of the situation without any help from meds. And my heart goes out to you, dear. I'm also aware and know that for some people it is almost impossible to fight it alone. Good luck and hang in there!

Val
___
___

koi1 · « **Reply #22 on:** April 01, 2007, 07:02:49 pm »

What anti anxiety meds are you on. I started craving sweets like hell on ativan. Chocolate tastes so yummy on ativan. Could that be why you are craving sweets?

Rob

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Author Topic: I Have an Anxiety Disorder (Read 6739 times)