Author Topic: Difficulty of corked wine and disappointment with hospitals (Read 5044 times)

newt · « **on:** July 30, 2010, 03:48:30 pm »

Having spent a fair part of the day in the hospital watching a friend die I am in a bad mood. Not sad, just pissed. Watched because, not being next of kin, that's all I could do. To be honest the tea, nurses n ghostlike faces of his mum, dad and sister made me kinda tetchy. This was so unnecessary. Had he not fallen in with the wrong crowd maybe he wouldn't have thought so bad of meds. 1 1/2 years from diagnosis to dementia and death from, how old fashioned, PCP. He wasn't even an unhealthy guy, kinda clean living truth be told.

But confused.

I did the right thing by his family, told them he was a top guy, brave, and yes he was well loved. He was all of these things. But it's hard call for them I reckon to find out he's gay and dying int he same half hour. His "boyfriend" was nowhere to be seen. Hmm..

The saving grace of the day was wifi and a stupid Internet game to pass the time.

To top it all the £16 bottle of Barolo I bought for drowning of sorrows was corked. Straining it through the tea strainer I covered the cat in it. Now got a purplish, prob gonna be drunk from the licking of fur cat somewhere at the far end of the garden.

I cannot talk quietly about the difficulty of attitudes to HIV/meds right now, but for these complexities at least 5 people I know and love from last year would be alive today, 3 in South Africa, 2 in the UK. 5 children would have a mother. 1 wedding would not have been cancelled. Many parents would not wonder what if. I respect people's decisions to take/not take meds, I appreciate the stuff which goes into the decision to take/not take them, but right now I am kinda pissed. And as prayer is my only saving grace from my selfishness, sad, so damn sad, and in need of grace.

Last Address (YouTube)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YKKeWsMyDXQ

_ matt

Now playing: Cyndi Lauper, True Colours (acoustic version)

anniebc · « **Reply #1 on:** July 30, 2010, 04:00:52 pm »

As always in situations liike this I find it hard to find words of comfort, I hope the wine, what you were able to salvage, helped

I found the video very sad but thougth it was a wondefulr and very different way to remember those who passed away.

So sad
Jan

Ann · « **Reply #2 on:** July 30, 2010, 04:06:58 pm »

Oh Matt, I'm so sorry. It's so difficult when you know it could have been avoided.

You have my deepest condolences. And a huge hug.

Ann
xxx

Miss Philicia · « **Reply #3 on:** July 30, 2010, 04:15:08 pm »

Hey Matt, I'm really horribly sorry that you're going through this with a close friend. These things are always dreadful to witness, more so with the boyfriend doing a cut & run plus the family drama. I just had my best friend end up in the hospital with PCP a couple months ago due to an extended drug holiday, and of course he knew better. You're a great friend for this guy that I'm sure of.

Also, sorry about that wine.

max123 · « **Reply #4 on:** July 30, 2010, 04:16:52 pm »

hi newt,

very sorry for your loss, man. indeed, it sounds like it was a very tough day.

the choice to med and when to med is a very powerful source of consternation. the sad truth is some never mentally reach that level in the course of disease, when their numbers clearly tell them that they should...we've seen that right here on the forums. i for one can say that i've been weighing out all of the pros & cons of starting (with good numbers) for months. i find myself as confused as ever given the back & forth nature of when science dictates that we should start arv. unfortunately, i don't know if anyone has all of the right answers. perhaps we can pm regarding all this at some point. i respect your obviously incredible knowledge base regarding the subject matter.

the video link really hit home for me, as i grew up in nyc. it was a sad trip down memory lane.

take care of yourself and again, i'm very sorry that the world has lost yet another, to this bug.

peace.

max

skeebo1969 · « **Reply #5 on:** July 30, 2010, 04:30:44 pm »

Sorry to hear about your friend Matt.. I remember right after my mother took her last breath I stepped outside on a terrace overlooking one of the major highways. How anticlimatic in comparison with how the world kept moving and mine seemingly ended, your video link brought back that memory.

Open the wine, play a tune, and think back on better times the two of you shared.

Hugs

Jeff G · « **Reply #6 on:** July 30, 2010, 04:36:11 pm »

I'm so sorry for your loss Matt .

WillyWump · « **Reply #7 on:** July 30, 2010, 05:15:40 pm »

NEwt,

This saddens me. Sorry for the loss.

-Will

GSOgymrat · « **Reply #8 on:** July 30, 2010, 05:19:54 pm »

I can definitely understand why you feel angry. I'm sorry for the loss of your friend.

Ford

BT65 · « **Reply #9 on:** July 30, 2010, 05:40:06 pm »

Matt, please accept my condolences. Sucks. I really don't know what else to say, except I hope you got some of that wine. Or get another bottle.
Luv,
Betty

Cliff · « **Reply #10 on:** July 30, 2010, 07:26:48 pm »

Crap, should have checked AM before FB. Sorry mister.

Jody · « **Reply #11 on:** July 30, 2010, 09:25:12 pm »

Condolences Matt on this most difficult loss of yet another loved one for you and by extension all of us here at this website. Hugs across the pond.

Jody

wtfimpoz · « **Reply #12 on:** July 31, 2010, 01:03:38 am »

I'm very sorry for your loss.

leese43 · « **Reply #13 on:** July 31, 2010, 02:58:47 am »

Condolences Matt. Hugs.

Leese x

David_CA · « **Reply #14 on:** July 31, 2010, 09:15:41 am »

Matt,
All I can really offer is a hug. This post, in a way, reminds me a bit of my own 'tempting fate' when I was hospitalized with PCP 3.5 years ago. That's also when my family found about my HIV, and when I started meds. Had I not started meds or if I'd been in a different time and place, I know I'd have quickly faced the same fate. HIV hits some of us quick and hard.

I hope that you and the cat found the wine enjoyable and that today's a better day. Hugs to you.

David

ds4146 · « **Reply #15 on:** July 31, 2010, 10:04:42 am »

You always offer up such helpful and sensible information on this forum and I look for them when I need something. You also write with sensitivity and compassion, and therefore I am not at all surprised that you were such a great friend to this man as I am sure you are with others. Sorry for your loss and I hope your pussy doesn't have a hangover. Thanks for being here!

aztecan · « **Reply #16 on:** July 31, 2010, 10:45:09 am »

Hey Matt,

Words are difficult when this happens. You are a great and compassionate friend. I am sorry for this turn of events and this loss for you and your friend's family and the choices he made that led to this.

SAD HUGS,

Mark

Hellraiser · « **Reply #17 on:** July 31, 2010, 12:38:17 pm »

Sorry you're going through this and it is all so needless. I have a friend who won't even go to the doctor much less consider medication and I'm really afraid of what might happen to him, but no matter what I say he just digs in his heels and refuses. I wish I could be there to give you a much needed hug.

joemutt · « **Reply #18 on:** July 31, 2010, 01:17:35 pm »

Matt, I am sorry to hear this.

Joe K · « **Reply #19 on:** July 31, 2010, 03:16:11 pm »

Dear Matt,

My deepest condolences on your loss and thank you, for being there for your friend, when even his bf wimps out. I hope you realize what an incredibly passionate and compassionate man you are. With all these deaths, 2010 is turning out to be a hell of a year.

Joe

Matty the Damned · « **Reply #20 on:** July 31, 2010, 04:42:57 pm »

Noot,

Condolences on the death of your friend. Avoidable deaths are so wretched.

MtD

newt · « **Reply #21 on:** August 02, 2010, 03:30:47 pm »

Ta people, I am not so sad, as annoyed and tired. Denial is a terrible thing, sometimes it takes a crisis to show the right path, sometimes it's too late and people fall off it. - matt

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Author Topic: Difficulty of corked wine and disappointment with hospitals (Read 5044 times)