Scared to get tested - 6 years

[jackjlead]

Hello - I had protected sex with someone who I believe to be high risk 6 years ago and I'm scared to get tested. I kind of figured if I had it, I would know by now since I get my blood work done every year. I've only had protected intercourse since, actually never had sex without a condom (very paranoid) but I'm worried that I've been carrying HIV for 6 years. I've had multiple skin problems (dermatitis, yeast infections) and I can't help but think it's been caused by HIV.

Maybe I'm being over paranoid here but every time something goes wrong with my body I automatically think I have HIV. I've read you're posts saying that you can't get HIV through protected intercourse I think I'm just psyching myself out and feel guilty about it.

[Jim Allen]

Hiya,

Look nothing you mentioned is HIV specific, most of it is common to all adults at some stage in life regardless of HIV status.

Anyhow read your post and the ex-partner's risks in life or HIV status is irrelevant to you, all that matters or that could put you at risk or not is your own actions and behaviours.

Now HIV can't transmit through an intact latex or polyurethane condom. That's true and if a condom fails during the act of intercourse it's obvious to the insertive partner. There is no reason to be stressing as long as this obvious issue did not happen.

I'm sorry to read that you have fears regarding testing. What is scaring you about getting tested?

Now, this next part might sound harsh but I doubt somehow that intercourse with condoms has been your one and only sexual activity over the years and, even with condom usage there are risks such as far easier to acquire STI's!

You should be testing at least yearly for HIV and easier to acquire STI's.  End of the day knowing your STI status means you can treat and cure many things before they do any permanent damage or cause death. Also, if you test you can put these doubts behind you.

Here's what you need to know to avoid HIV infection:
Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, every time, no exceptions. Consider talking to your healthcare provider about PrEP as an additional layer of HIV protection going forward

Keep in mind that some sexual practices which may be described as ‘safe’ in terms of HIV transmission might still pose a risk for transmission of other STI's, so please do get fully tested regularly and at least yearly for all STI's including but not limited to HIV and test more frequently if unprotected intercourse occurs

Also, note that it is possible to have an STI and show no signs or symptoms and the only way of knowing is by testing.

Kind regards

Jim

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[jackjlead]

Mainly fears around testing positive... although I kind of know in the back of my head that I don't have it because it was protected vaginal sex and I was the male so I know the chances are extremely low. Also I'm certain the condom did not break.

And yes, I have gotten unprotected blowjobs but still, I've only had sex with a condom and been sexually inactive for the last two years.

I've actually asked for an STI check at my next physical in a month so I'll check then. I've just been a nervous wreck fro the last couple of years, mainly because I wasn't very educated on HIV.

[Jim Allen]

Hiya,

I've just been a nervous wreck fro the last couple of years, mainly because I wasn't very educated on HIV.

Sorry to hear it's been having an impact on your life and mental well-being.

To be honest the fear should be not testing though, as most STI's are perfectly treatable or manageable but that can go out the window if you don't detect and treat early. Testing does not change your status but it means you can act on that information.

Anyhow, glad to hear you will test soon. Should give you peace of mind

As an educational note, receiving a blowjob is no HIV risk to you whatsoever.  It lacks all the conditions required for acquiring HIV,  thus it makes sense that after nearly 40 years of this pandemic in terms of BJ's there hasn’t been a single documented case of HIV transmission to an insertive partner (the person being "sucked") and you will not be the worlds first. 

Take it easy.

[jackjlead]

Okay awesome. Thanks for quick replies. Good to hear that I wasn't risk through protected sex and thanks for the educational note.
My sex education has been all scare tactics so it's kind of made sex scary for me in the sense that unprotected sex leads to HIV and/or pregnancies.

[Jim Allen]

Hiya,

You're welcome.

My sex education has been all scare tactics so it's kind of made sex scary for me in the sense that unprotected sex leads to HIV and/or pregnancies.

Well, condomless sex is a greater risk for STI's and an obvious HIV risk.
You can do a lot to reduce those risks through consistent condom usage, PrEP and having yearly STI screenings.

[Jim Allen]

Hiya,

You're welcome.

My sex education has been all scare tactics so it's kind of made sex scary for me in the sense that unprotected sex leads to HIV and/or pregnancies.

Look sex comes with risks and, condomless sex is a greater risk for STI's and an obvious HIV risk.

The levels of protection from condoms for various STIs, depends greatly on differences in how the diseases or infections are transmitted.  Some infections (Not HIV) are transmitted primarily by skin-to-skin contact, which may infect areas not covered by a condom (Such as genital herpes, human papillomavirus [HPV] infection, syphilis, and chancroid).

You can do a lot to reduce those risks through continued consistent condom usage, and having yearly STI screenings.

In addition as an additional layer against HIV and for peace of mind you could talk to your healthcare provider about PrEP. PrEP is a combination drug that an HIV negative person can take as part of a routine to greatly reduce their risk of acquiring HIV should they be exposed during sex. 

Best, Jim